Tempest's Teapot

Sex Appeal in Bellydance: Introspection & Irony

2012-02-13T08:51:00.000-08:00

While I have been doing a lot of thinking (surprise, I'm part of Overthinkers Anonymous...ok, not so anonymous, see the overthinking?), I haven't had a lot of time to put it all down, so here's to trying to get back to a regular schedule with the blog. There is a lot to cover in this one, so this post will make up for it.

So, you may have noticed the image connected with this post. It's a new photo, taken recently of me by the amazing Carrie Meyer of St. Louis, MO (http://www.thedancerseye.com) - Carrie has taken some incredible photos of me in the last year (as have several other great photographers in New England). I'm about to totally revamp my darklydramatic.com website, since it's been several years since I've changed the overall look, so I have been thinking a lot about what images I want to use, what they reflect, what branding they put forth etc. I also just recently posted a slew of my old costumes for sale, so I was looking at photos that were taken of me from 2005-2008 and comparing. And how much I like the new ones more. Not for any lack of image quality - there are some truly great photographs in that group, taken by very talented photographers, and I got a lot of mileage out of those images. But personally, it's like looking at two different people. Which is pretty close to the truth I think.

But let me back up a bit here. Growing up, I was never much of a girly-girl. I have two very much older brothers who I idolized. I played street hockey, I surfed, I spent hours in the backyard playing wilderness games, excavating under stones and "hunting" things. I wore my brothers' clothes whenever possible. I failed at "girly" activities, not interested in the pink satin trappings of ballet, cheerleading, make-up application (though I loved "fashion plates" - remember those? well, it fell under "art"). Puberty snuck up on me around 6th grade and caused much confusion for the next several years. I had always felt more comfortable around guys, but now I was being rejected and harshly teased by them as well as the rest of the girls. I felt stuck between the two sides, and it was fairly traumatic for me, until I moved at 15 to South Carolina, and entered a whole new school system. The social dynamic was much different, and I could easily be the artsy/tough girl without catching any flack. And pretty much proceeded along that path indefinitely throughout college and so forth. And I found bellydancing - and my personality merged with that. Which makes a lot of sense when you look at a lot of my earlier Gothic Bellydance pieces, full of elements of "dangerous/femme fatale" mixed with "hard-edge", alternating between in that spectrum. I had a hard time reconciling "soft" vs. "hard", feminine versus masculine, especially wondering about audience reception. Now? Now I don't care which way my dance swings, because I think I've merged the elements now more successfully, or found a different way to say them.

So I've been thinking about what makes who I am now as a dancer different than who I was then, because I think that has a lot to do with the changes in the imagery and idea development. It again made me think about this article I wrote about 5-6 years ago and wondering if I would have a different opinion about "a dancer has nothing to dance about until she's over 30". And well, not really. I may have something different to say now, but it doesn't invalidate what I had to say then.

One of the things I would say is that I'm much more comfortable being ME now than I was then, as weird as that sounds. That perhaps I know who I am more. The girl in the old photos is pretty, touch of edgy, proud but not grounded. The woman in the photographs now seems far more confident, in command, and sexy. She knows things. And yes, I said the s-word. Sexy.

Which brings us to the conundrum of sex appeal and bellydance. Dancers are constantly fighting the stereotypes that we're not strippers, that what we do is a valid art form and socially proper form of entertainment. We're endlessly debating sexual vs sensual. That we're not doing this for the arousal of the opposite sex, etc, etc.

And in looking at these photos, along with all the other photos I deal with from other dancers for the events and websites I put together, and the commentary on photos post on facebook, I realized something. It IS about sex appeal. The funny thing is, it's really not about the dancer in the image trying to appeal to the opposite sex, as so much it is about transferring sex appeal to the consumer - which for workshops and classes, the consumer is the potential student. The student wants to have that same sex appeal themselves - for whatever reason, and if they perceive it in the teacher, then they feel they too can get in on the action. That's the root of it, plain and simple.

And while some of you are probably going "duh" - well, you have to understand that I don't really think that way. I'm a geek, and a dork, and like being silly. I don't care about "looking cool", b/c I'm just going to be me no matter what, for what it's worth. So instead of going "whoa, that is a hot photograph of X", I'm wondering if she's wearing underwear, how much shaving did that involve, and surely she wouldn't perform in THAT "costume", because if she moved her legs, we'd see it all. And wow, that can't be comfortable.

Which means, I either think too much (which we have already established), but also, there's different levels of sexy. To me, sexy isn't about how much I'm exposing of my body - especially since I believe the fashion truth that it's a matter of ratio versus what you show versus what you don't show (like ankles being sexy and taboo for Victorians, that Flappers were sexy for showing legs and arms, but they look wholesome next to the pop stars of today who bare pretty much all of their assets). It's not about the clothing or lack there of, it's about the attitude, and how you wear that attitude that makes the sex appeal. That it's not a request for attention, but a declaration of self. That's what really makes it sexy.

Which makes me love all of my students that much more, because I think that means they're in it for themselves too. How awesome is that?

Performing & You.

2012-01-19T07:27:00.000-08:00

Yes, I'm a bit behind my normal schedule on posting, especially made obvious by the fact that it's now the third week of January. Maybe I had a bit of "new year, first post" anxiety? Anyway, here's to getting back on track:

In the last month or so, I have been talking with a lot of people about performing - musicians, dancers, students, and other creative types. Why we perform, how it makes us feel, what qualifies as a good or satisfying performance, what leaves us wanting more personally, and how to get satisfied more consistently.And what I discovered is that those who felt the most consistent and satisfied about their performances had similar reasons for WHY they performed.

I think a lot of people get into performing for the wrong reasons. That doesn't mean they won't eventually come to the right reasons, but I have to wonder if a lot of stress and heartache could be saved if they started from the right spot. Or maybe it's all part of the learning process. What are the "wrong reasons" anyway? I would say anything that blocks the flow of energy between the performer and the audience, and doesn't foster truth growth.

Performing is about having a shared experience on multiple levels. It's about communication, opening up a dialogue between you and the audience - you give something, they give something back, and so it cycles from there. The amazing thing about performing is that it is a communal experience. For many of us, it's like church - there is something sacred, something energy-based about it, as close to you can get to a divine experience on the earthly plane. Time moves differently on stage, and there's a sense of transformation, of reaching an altered state of existence.

If you're only performing to boost your ego, it's only going to go so far, because self-esteem can't be fostered from an audience glow, it's has to start from inside of you, YOUR own confidence in YOU. Eventually, the audience will catch on, and leave you crashing hard. Attention-seeking is disrespectful to the audience and negates the communication experience for both parties.

We all have to start somewhere. Not every performance is going to be a mystical, magical experience - but you have to start with getting experience in the first place. It takes practice to learn how to communicate properly. As long as you have a willingness to acknowledge that, and the desire TO communicate and share, then you are on the right path. Consider when you're putting a piece together, what is it that you want to say with it? How does it make you feel? How do you want your audience to feel? If you take the time to consider these things, you're on the right path.

Orpheus & Eurydice

2011-12-27T13:06:00.000-08:00

It's the last week of the year, and I'm a bit under the weather, so instead of a weekly exploratory post, I'm posting the video from my performance with Nathaniel Johnstone at Tribal Fusion Faire, which took place in San Luis Obispo, California December 10th-11th. This was the first time out for a piece we have been discussing and working on for about 6 months now, based off the myth of Orpheus & Eurydice. It will continual to evolve over the next year as it develops, but I'm pretty pleased with our first run. It starts off with "The Heart Unwound", and then goes into new music that Nathaniel has composed for this piece especially. And it was all pretty much improvised.

The Light In The Dark

2011-12-22T12:49:00.000-08:00

So I have been a bit remiss in updating the blog this month, and I apologize for that. I'm not exactly sure what happened to most of December. I mean, I kinda know - I held an open house at my home studio, I was in California for nearly a week, visiting the Bay Area and performing/teaching at Tribal Fusion Faire, I worked on the Waking Persephone website. I designed jewelry and dealt with corporate America. So obviously I was doing stuff. I think. I have no holiday decorations up at my house, and it's a little late to start, as I'm leaving tomorrow to see my family in NJ. But I didn't want to let the month run away without marking down some thoughts.

Last night was the longest night of the whole year - marking the Winter Solstice (in my hemisphere). For me, the equinoxes and the solstices are the most important days out of the year, alongside May 1st and October 31st. I am fascinated by the balance of light and dark, day and night, the pattern of things. And being an optimist (generally), I am very much inspired by the Winter Solstice - the promise that there will be a little more light, each day, from now until the Summer Solstice. (For the inverse reasons, I am somewhat depressed by the Summer Solstice, cause it's all downhill from there...so I guess I am a Winter Optimist and a Summer Pessimist).

When I think of the dark though, I don't think of it as cold and desolate. Instead, I think about hibernation, incubation, things waiting, holding, slumbering, preparing. There are whispers in dark warm corners about the promise of Spring - what can take root, what can bloom, what can inspire and grow. In one hand, we are remembering the harvests of the past year - what worked, what didn't work, what we reaped and sowed. In the other, we are consider the changes for the next year - what will we bring into our lives for the coming year. What will be new? What will be different? How can we take that inspiration to the next level? What experiences will we have?

The Winter Solstice is like sitting in a movie theater, waiting for the show to start. Anything could happen. The thing is, we're in control about what show is about to start. If we expect someone else to start the show for us, it'll never happen. You're the star of your own show, whether you think you're ready for it or not. And there's nothing like that moment - on the stage, in the dark, before the lights come up and the curtains open. Embrace this moment in the dark, hold it close, and see what sparks emerge. Take a deep warm breath and give life to that light.

Blessed Be.

Yes you can, but SHOULD you? : Music

2011-11-30T07:24:00.000-08:00

The title of this week's post is a question I often (and infamously) ask of my students in the fusion workshops I teach. It can refer to costuming, moves, props, group interaction, general presentation, audience participation, make-up, or music.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about music. Partly brought on by some of my students trying to choose music for their first solos, partly by the fact that I'm enamored with my car's sound system. And that I seem to have developed an obsession for Florence + The Machine (which if you're my friend on facebook, this is not news to you whatsoever.)

In particular, I was thinking how much I am IN LOVE with specific songs, but there's no way I can see myself actually bellydancing to them. (I do however, sing along with them, but only in my car...alone.) This was a bit of a surprise to me on several levels, so it made me stop and think about why.

The songs definitely made me feel something - I could definitely move with them and translate the energy and feel of the song through my body, but the movement language it required was definitely not bellydance. Now, I don't believe that a song must be Arabic/Middle Eastern in order for it to work with bellydance - rather, I often apply that musical interpretation/approach to what I'm dancing to for fusion - but it doesn't work for every song, and I think that's one of the things you really only learn with time, especially the deeper you explore the roots of the dance.

In the last couple of years, I have enjoyed the challenge of going back to sets I performed to when I first started dancing. Some pieces, I have been extremely excited about all over again, in a whole new way - I hear them differently, can apply far more control and quality then I was able to the first go-round. Other pieces, I am just dumbfounded at how I thought I could bellydance to it in the first place - danceable, yes, bellydanceable, not so much, or at all. Yes, it's quite common that once you learn bellydance, it certainly infiltrates everything you do, including when you go to the club and want to social dance. But when you take it to performance, it becomes a different territory.

The revelation is: just because you love a song, doesn't mean it's going to work for a bellydance performance. Ask yourself, why do you love it? What about it grabs you? What kind of movement does it inspire you to do? Is that movement bellydance-oriented? And by bellydance-oriented, I'm not talking fusion elements (popping, locking, whacking, strobing, glitching, and various other -ing's), I'm talking BELLYDANCE here. If you're suddenly confused about what that means then, time to do some research.

A Challenge to the Community

2011-11-21T08:37:00.000-08:00

Like clockwork, every few months, there's a discussion on any bellydance forum about how fusion is the root of all evil, the end of the world is coming to traditional bellydance, etc, etc. There's usually some good debate, mixed in with some really bad generalizations and pot shots. Personally, there's a lot of things happening in the name of "fusion bellydance" that makes me have kittens (which if you have read this blog for any amount of time, it's probably pretty apparent), but there's a whole lot of bad "traditional" bellydance being done too...really, we have a mess on our hands, but I believe it's better to do something about it, then to constantly bitch and do nothing. And while I internally debated whether I wanted to partake in the latest thread to pop up, I learned of the untimely passing of Jeniviva, dear friend, beautiful woman, and fellow Gothic Bellydancer - one of the few other prominent cabaret-based ones. And suddenly, all of the nit-picking and ranting seemed pretty pointless. So this is what I wrote, and I wanted to share it here as well:

In the light of being made even more very much aware of how fleeting life is with the loss of a fellow contemporary pioneer in my genre, I just want to say this:

You want to see more bellydance? BRING IT. Stop bemoaning and whining about the potential loss and who is to blame for it. Go out there, show your love for the dance with every performance and every student you teach, be a POSITIVE voice in your community. There is plenty of room for all styles, but if you want folks to get more interested in the traditional forms, the folklore, the music, the culture, you gotta have that joy, you have to show that love, and not waste time and energy on what others may or may not be doing.

My roots are oriental. I wanted to do Tribal when I first came across BD over a dozen years ago, and when I finally did take it, I found my heart was back in my roots - but what made it easy for me to embrace it (the roots) and go forth were teachers who shared with me their inspiration and their support. It definitely was NOT because of the people hoisting themselves on digital thrones of authenticity, crowning themselves the queens of preservation wagging their fingers/mouths at me and others, whose own dancing was less than inspired on stage and instruction full of venom. Nope, rather it was the ones who shared their joy and love of the dance with everything they do - on stage and in the classroom. Their enthusiasm fueled (and fuels) my enthusiasm, and I bring that to my students in my classroom and on stage. My classes cover both tradition and innovation - they learn about Arabic culture and music, and they learn fusion with focus. It's not an easy place to be in, because I've always been "too cab for the tribal folk, and too tribal/weird for the cab folk", but that hasn't stopped me and won't. My workshops focusing on how to make fusion more bellydance-rooted may not sell-out as quickly as the popular TF classes flavor of the year, but that's what I believe in, and slowly, change is happening. It's what *I* believe in, teach, preach, and dance. Its what I LOVE. My students are all ages, sizes, colors, genders. There are no borders.

So ask yourself, what do you believe in? Are you bringing that joy? How are you going to feed that passion to others? What are you going to do TODAY about it? Because we may not be around to dance tomorrow.

Bellydance Artistry DVD Trailer!

2011-11-13T18:36:00.000-08:00

While the DVD was officially released back in late May of this year, we've been a tad bit busy to sit down and get the trailer done until now...and here it is!

And while it's out of stock temporarily on amazon.com, you can buy it direct from me at http://www.darklydramatic.com/artistrydvd.html - and in honor of it being the 13th, all DVD orders will get a discount code for the music download! (still good through Monday the 14th).

Waking Persephone - April 13th-15th, 2012 - New England

2011-11-07T09:37:00.000-08:00

You know those events I produce that you keep hearing about and wish you were going to be at? Here's another one, so start planning now. It's really not that hard to get to Rhode Island, and OMFG so worth it:

"Waking Persephone" is an event specializing in exploring the dark and the unusual within the realm of bellydance. This event will take place for the first time April 13th-15th, 2012 in Providence, Rhode Island - the heart of New England. Nothing like it has ever taken place on this scale in New England for the darker side of the dance, and we are thrilled to bring it to you!

It will be a different kind of dark dance event experience, with a core focus on education and exploration, creating community while breaking borders. While there will indeed be performing opportunities, the main goal is an intensive series of classes, lectures, and activities featuring both new and established faces in the genres of dark, gothic, steampunk, experimental, theatrical, and ritual dances. Over the course of 3 days, there will be two shows, live music performances, workshops, master classes, panel discussions, vending, and more!

Our fabulous teaching staff includes Tempest, Anaar, Asharah, Ami Amore, & Celeste, with more being announced. There is also the opportunity for you to throw your own hat into the ring to teach - We are accepting applications for those interested in teaching at Waking Persephone through November 13th. Info at http://wakingpersephone.com/teach.html

We are lining up some amazing live music from all over the US for WP including Nathaniel Johnstone (of the Nathaniel Johnstone Band and Abney Park), French & the Punk, Servitor Sanctum 7, and more special guests to be announced! http://wakingpersephone.com/music.html

Vending is also officially open for WP - with just 13 spots total - 8 regular vending spots, 3 artist spots, and 2 services spots. http://wakingpersephone.com/vendors.html

Complete details available at http://www.wakingpersephone.com

Tribal Fest 12! Bring IT.

2011-11-03T07:11:00.000-07:00

photo - Dina Lydia, w/ Nathaniel Johnstone Band, Seattle 10/22/11

So the Tribal Fest 12 website launched on Tuesday. Tribal Fest doesn't take place until May 16th-20th, 2012, but workshop spaces are already selling fast (and selling out), so here's your head's up about what I am teaching this year.

I am offering a BRAND NEW workshop entitled "Essence of the Dance: From the Inside Out". It takes place on the Thursday (17th) from 2:30-4:30pm. I created this workshop because so many people have asked me in the last year, how do I put so much energy and intensity into my performances? Whether you're doing traditional or fusion dance, dark or perky, this will show you how to get that something else in your dance, while still being true to YOU as a dancer.

So, yeah, this class isn't for those who want to be clones. You wanna develop your own style? This is for you. Two hours that will revolutionize your dance, I promise. I'm not here to kick your butt, I'm here to kickstart your mind and body.

Here's the description: Truly making the dance your own, creating your own voice and personal style, comes not just from the movements you do, but how you translate them through your body and the energy you use to engage the audience with. If you're looking to find your own voice in the dance and strive to be uniquely YOU, this workshop will actively engage your body and mind, and give you the tools in order to make it possible, within the framework of bellydance. We will explore daily exercises to enhance your dance connectivity, personalize your core movements, and add intensity and power to your armwork, footwork, and core while deepening control of your entire being. From exploring "simple" elegance to adding more complexity and contrast, get more satisfaction out of both your practice time and your performances! Suitable for all styles of bellydance. Warning: May involve live music.
Spots going fast. Sign up here!

End of the Wheel, Beginning Anew

2011-11-01T08:37:00.000-07:00

We have once again returned to what in my spiritual tradition, is considered the End of the Year. It's known by many names: Halloween, Samhain, Dia de Los Muertos, Feast of All Saints/Souls, and others. Throughout this planet, this is the time of year where we acknowledge those who have passed on - not only in the past year, but our family, friends, ancestors who have crossed over in years past. Many traditions believe that this is when the veils between this side and the other side are the thinnest - or lifted up all together. This is why images of Death, spirits, ghosts, and other beings of the Underworld are prevalent in so many places - it's partly about acknowledging the cycle and the closeness of the deceased, about the dead mingling with the living.

But it also a time of letting go, in preparation for our new year, our new selves...to make room for the new good things we will bring into our lives, the new experiences.

A lot of dancers tend to focus on negative things like what they didn't do right, what didn't happen for them, who is to the blame for that, comparing themselves to everyone else. Others focus on goals so far ahead of themselves, they only set themselves up for failure. These modes of thinking only serve to entangle our minds and our feet, preventing us from being true to ourselves and our own journeys. They make us chase ghosts and lose sight of what's directly in front of us. We get caught up with all of the trappings and goings-on, that we can forget about what is the essence of the dance - what it really means to us.

So, as we cross into the new year, past the parting of the veils, I challenge you to let go of what haunts you in your dance. Acknowledge the past and what has made you, you, but be prepared to move forward. Let go of the negativity. Release the drama, forgive, forget, let go. Be considerate to yourself and others. Challenge yourself to be responsible for your own actions in the dance. Don't be afraid to be yourself and show who you are as a dancer, where you are at at this very moment, in this very body. Face each day, each week as it comes to you, and how you can make the most of it. What new things, ideas, concepts are you going to explore? What change will you bring into your dance that will help it (and you) to continually evolve?

And lastly, dance your dance as if nothing else matters.

In Seattle this weekend!

2011-10-19T10:26:00.000-07:00

I am very excited to be returning to Seattle this weekend to teach two great workshops at Skin Deep Dance and be a part of a terrific show at Tin Can Studio this Saturday. I haven't been to the Pacific Northwest since the Durga Tour in 2009, and that was really too short of a time!

Nathaniel Johnstone and I are teaming up to teach a dynamic workshop on musicality called "Anatomy of a Song & Dance." We will be dissecting two of his amazing songs, instrument by instrument, and addressing how to best embody those sounds through your body via dance - and then we will put it all together. The techniques and approaches we will share with you will enable you to take ANY song and really break it down and get the most out of it. Ever wonder how to put together a choreography that really works with the music? Want to be a better improv artist? After this two hour workshop, you WILL have the tools to do it, and feel a lot more confident in your performances. The second workshop is "Between the Veils", where I share my secrets to excellent and dramatic veil workshop that really takes fusion bellydance to the next level. Workshop info: http://www.skindeepdance.com/workshops.html - and I do believe space will be available at the door. Don't miss it!

Then that evening, we will be joined by the rest of Nathaniel's band and a wonderful variety of performers for a show at Tin Can Studio - http://www.wherevent.com/detail/tin-can-studio-tempest-nathaniel-johnstone

Understanding & Embracing The Sacred

2011-10-06T08:52:00.000-07:00

I don't think our community (or society) understands the concept of sacred. I think it's something that even those of us who talk about it a lot, can lose touch with what it means - to ourselves, to others. Sacred dance is a topic that makes a lot of people squirm in their seats, recalling poorly-done "goddess" performances, or brushes with cult-like activity. Something of "the other", not related to our modern-day society, our daily lives.

When I put together the concept of Tapestry, I subtitled it "Weaving Together Dance Traditions and the Living Sacred." Thinking back, I did a lot of the organizing and descriptive parts of creating the event practically on autopilot. When I just went back to look at the website, wondering what I had said that included "sacred", I was rather surprised to see it leaping off the page in that particular way. I don't even remember writing this part from the about section "Our goal is give students an opportunity to expand not only their knowledge and practice of dance traditions, but to explore the sacred and spiritual concepts related to these traditions, and what they mean to us as modern, global citizens. The entire program is designed to give students a full-bodied experience with comparative instruction in dance movement, music, song, history, and ritual - as well as providing an enriching communal environment for the length of the program."
But write it, I did. And in retrospect, I believe we more than accomplished our goal, we hit it out of the park. But I digress....back to the sacred.

We worked with a multitude of cultures at Tapestry - all sorts of religious paths, pantheons and belief systems that these dances, practices, rituals emerged from - but what made it truly sacred is not a connection or dedication to some distant divine being, but the connection we made with ourselves and each other.

Sacred dance is not about being holier-than-thou, or being ungrounded - in fact, it's about getting to the roots of yourself - letting go of ego, and tapping into what makes you, you. Forget about being a "great" priestess, artist, dancer, shaman, performer, teacher - that all has to go out the window. In order to accomplish any sort of "great", you have to start from the ground up. Break down your own misconceptions about yourself, about others, and just let go of it all.

Our ancestors have been doing these dances and rituals for hundreds, if not thousands of years - every culture has them in some form. The reason they have been done for so long is not just tradition, but because THEY WORK, regardless of who or what you believe in. We get hung up in all of the trappings of modern society, all of our manufactured cures and medication - we think that just a pill will cure anything, without ever examining the underlying causes of our physical, emotional, and mental maladies. But humankind has been surviving through these things for thousands of years through the power of dance, music, ritual.

After this weekend, I am left wondering what impact sacred dance would have on the modern bellydance community, if more dancers actually tried it - oriental and tribal. I wonder how many egos would be left in the dance, how many more individuals vs. clones would emerge, how many would dance even better? How many would abandon the dance all together? How would how dancers treat each other change?

It's worth thinking about it I believe.

Upcoming Events with Tempest - RI, MA, WA, MI, TX, CA

2011-10-04T08:18:00.000-07:00

October 8th - Fundraiser for Care For Animals - Warwick, RI - teaching a workshop, performing, vending - http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=265077656844502

October 16th: Raks Spooki, Cambridge, MA - Performance - http://www.badriyaboston.com/raksspooki.html

October 22nd: Seattle, WA - teaching and performing with Nathaniel Johnstone - workshops at Skin Deep Dance Studio, http://www.skindeepdance.com/workshops.html, performances at Tin Can Studio - http://www.wherevent.com/detail/tin-can-studio-tempest-nathaniel-johnstone

October 29th-30th: Kalamazoo, MI - Ooky Spooky workshops & show - http://www.bohemetribal.com/tempest

November 5th - Houston, TX - Steampunk Bellydance Workshops & Show - http://getsteamed.eventbrite.com/

December 10th-11th, Tribal Fusion Faire, San Luis Obispo, CA - workshops, performances, vending - http://www.meddevi.com/tribalfusionfaire/

Authentic-ness of Self

2011-09-23T12:01:00.000-07:00

Photo by The Dancer's Eye (Carrie Meyer) at TGNESE

(More thoughts spawned from the MassRaqs panel...)

The question was asked, "So say you've been studying this dance for a long time, but you're not of the culture - how does one make it authentic and how much ourselves do we bring into it?"

One of the answers provided was "You need to study more."

. . .

. . .
. . .

Some mighty indignant crickets over here from my corner, I must say. I'm rather tired of the false assumption that if someone is performing fusion, then they must be too lazy to actually learn anything "real."

I will be the first to say, YES, there are "fusion" dancers out there who have no idea WTF they are doing, and YES perhaps some of them are lazy. Some of them don't know any better, and haven't spent enough time studying. But there are just as many non-fusion dancers doing the same thing. 6-week wonders, belly bunnies, whatever you want to call them, every performance art has them. But these individuals are NOT in the majority, and most of them do go on to learn more and grow. The majority of professional fusion dancers that I know, all have studied and continue to study the roots of the dance.

I think it needs to be spelled out for some people that dance is not black and white - that it's either "authentic" or "traditional" or it's not. What is "authentic" and what isn't comes down to the viewer and their familiarity with the subject matter and what the dancer is presenting. I think those who want to see the dance in black and white look at it as something that can be placed over an individually wholly and cover them like a giant paperbag. You either wear the paper bag or you don't.

But I digress. What I really wanted to address was authenticity of self, combined with expression and style.

I think some people look at traditional dance, get obsessed about replicating it, becoming a part of "over there", that they totally lose themselves in the process and discount their own addition/involvement. I hear "it's THEIR culture and we need to honor it." Yes, that's true to a certain degree. One honors the dance by researching it, studying it, learning about the culture it comes from, and why it is the way it is. But dance is an art-form, and art doesn't rest in stasis. It is constantly changing, evolving, shifting, growing, touching-base again, and taking off. And really, when we're talking about dance, we're not discussing some inanimate, non-changing object - we are discussing something that is performed by individual living beings, with their own dreams, personalities, and biological make-up. When we discuss legends of the dance, we're not really talking about how well they replicated the dance, but what they each brought to the dance. It's who they are/were, their personality and how it was expressed by the dance that made them legendary. Not perfect replication of someone else or a static idea. It is this essence of self that creates what we call style.

Truly great dance must have essence - that something else that takes it beyond a combination of steps done to certain music, even when re-creating historic pieces. It comes from inside the dancer. Studying the dance and its culture helps to unlock the deeper portions of the psyche, so that the moves become something else, the expression is more strongly channeled and brought forth, the music best interpreted. But you don't study the dance to become a static being. You study the dance to become a more complete, active being. And you will continue to study it your whole life, if you so desire. There is no set amount of hours spent in a classroom or in a foreign country that can determine that yes, now YOU can dance.

The goal is, no matter what, to bring YOU to the dance, as best you can. It will be a balancing game of tradition and self. I don't see the point of trying to be something you're not. If you're not from "over there", then that is NEVER going to change. You can do your best to respect and honor the roots, but you will still be you and of your culture no matter what. I believe you can simultaneously honor both the roots of the dance AND yourself, by respecting your own contribution.

So, that's part of why I do what I do when I dance. I am of so many cultures, I cannot just be one thing, no matter how hard I could try. I study the dance, I love the dance, and I dance the dance as the entity that is me in body and spirit. It may not be to everyone's taste, but that's not my goal anyway. You can't dance yourself AND satisfy everyone. Start from the inside out though, and you will truly dance authentically as you.

MassRaqs Panel Thoughts: Tradition vs. Innovation Part I: Flies, Liquid Offerings, and Dance

2011-09-12T10:40:00.000-07:00

I was honored to be invited to be a panelist at MassRaqs this past weekend in Somerville, MA. The focus of the panel was "globalization" and "cultural appropriation" in regards to dance. The panel was made up of instructors from the weekend and invited guests such as myself and Donna Mejia, representing a mix of traditional and fusion-oriented perspectives (including Karim Nagi, Hadia, etc). It was an intense and riveting experience, with a lot of interesting points brought up, but alas two hours was simply not enough time for everyone to be able to discuss their points and for the audience to ask more questions. I gave my opening remarks with the intention/thought process that we'd all be able to return to our points in the discussion and question period, and it didn't end up that way.

Consequently, my brain kicked into overdrive, and I have spent the last 24 hours spring-boarding off the ideas, questions, concerns, etc - that were brought up, but never got addressed. The bad news is, I lost a bit of sleep in the process because my brain wouldn't shut up. The awesome news is that I have enough material to post pretty much something every week through the end of the year, just from my panel discussion notes alone.

Looking at my list of topics, I have decided to start off here with one of the key points I did manage to bring up, and it's something that I believe is very vital to our dance community, right here, right now.

As a dancer, I find myself smack in the middle of two perceived camps: those who value tradition and those that value innovation. I study traditional dance, emphatically, passionately, I can't get enough of it. Yet my the majority of my performances are clearly fusion, a departure from the traditional. I teach both tradition and fusion, side by side. I support tradition, I support innovation. Yet, I get flack from both sides for it. Not that that is ever going to change how I approach things (instead, it makes me even more staunchly focused on continuing doing what I'm doing), but it's a fact.

And the other day, I was contemplating the event I'm producing at the end of this month: Tapestry. I have produced Gothic-only events (such as Gothla US, and smaller events), and I wanted to create something that focused more on the roots of the dance, as well as WHY we dance at all. I want participants to foster a sense of self, spirituality, and community. To partake in an event that's not just about performing, but really focused on learning, sharing, and growing. This is my vision for Tapestry. Traditional artists, fusion artists, all coming together, bringing to the table what they have to offer in a unique setting.

So I was considering the demographic of attendees who have signed up for the event, and I think that the majority of them tend to be of a specific age and even style group, and I wondered about it. They're not quite at either end of the spectrum when it comes to tradition vs. innovation. They're mostly not newer fusion dancers and they're not hard-core preservationists. Which is fascinating (to me anyway).

And that got me thinking particularly about those at the farther out ends of the spectrum. And myself. When did I start really focusing on studying mainly folkloric dances? Did I miss out on earlier opportunities to study it, and why? I remember in 2004, I missed Aisha Ali teaching in San Jose, but not intentionally - I had the flu so bad I had to go to the hospital. But I remembering wanting to go. I think there were other times that local dancers may have offered folkloric classes, but I remember not being interested for two reasons: 1. I hadn't been particularly moved by their performances and 2. Many of them had not been very pleasant at all to me.

You see, I have the following outlook on life: Everyone starts on the same line, to be treated nicely and with respect unless actions/words prove otherwise. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I think those opinions should be formed by in-person experiences, and that we all need to be aware of our own baggage. I prefer to study with individuals that I perceive as having a similar outlook. If you put me in the negative bin just because you heard I do some crazy fusion, then I have a hard time offering back any mutual respect for what you do. If I enter your classroom, I'm doing it out of interest and am already showing even-line respect with my intention and my money. So the "what are YOU doing here?" isn't an appreciated response to someone who wants to learn from you.

Luckily, the bitches didn't get me down. I found other instructors who were not only inspiring on the stage, but in the classroom, and welcoming to me. They understand I wanted to learn and honored that desire by treating me with mutual respect. But not everyone is as hard-headed as me. Others get the feeling that they're not wanted, their opinions or experience not respected, and they avoid anything else similar like the plague. I can't blame them. Nobody wants to hear "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!" hurled at them, right off the bat. Nobody wants to be made to be felt unwelcome.

And then we wonder why more young dancers aren't learning more about the roots of this dance? Is it really that surprising?

Of course, I also know it's not just a lack of a welcome mat that is a culprit, but inexperience/ignorance. In a time where a lot of dancers are STARTING in Tribal Fusion without even ATS/ITS to start with, some dancers don't realize there are far deeper roots to be explored, and that their dance can benefit from it - from learning Arabic music, folkloric steps, that it can actually be a lot of fun too. In their desire to becoming the next Amazing Superstar Clone, they're not looking for self-exploration, or considering anything else not within their immediate goal. But it's also entirely possible that one day, maybe something will happen and they will desire to learn more.

So will we be waiting with open arms, willing to give them the roots they desire? Or will we take away the welcome mat?

Also, are we doing tradition justice when we perform it? What essence do we bring to it that makes it appealing for new generations of dancers? People yell and scream that fusion is the downfall of the dance, but I fear there is much more damage being done in the name of poorly done "traditional" dance, be it folkloric, Raqs Sharqi, etc. Who are we to consider ourselves ambassadors of the dance (especially if one hails from a different culture), when we don't seek to truly embrace the essence of the dance, and offer it to educate and enthrall? If we refuse to acknowledge that the dance is a living breathing extension of culture that cannot live under a microscope in stasis? What are we doing that makes other dancers go "wow, I want to learn that!" How?

When we will acknowledge that there are far more of us in the middle than at the spectrum as well? Yes, there is the "ethnic police" and yes, there are those doing crazy stuff with barely a thread's attachment to bellydance, but I believe that most serious dancers are interested in both tradition and innovation. We need to both preserve tradition and build NEW traditions through innovation. That is how art and culture survives - foundation and building.

We do not do this dance any service by polarizing the preservation of tradition and the spirit of innovation.

We do not do this dance any service by polarizing the preservation of tradition and the spirit of innovation.

We do not do this dance any service by polarizing the preservation of tradition and the spirit of innovation.

(sunk in yet?)

As I said yesterday in the panel, if we want dancers to be more educated about the roots of the dance, then we need to realize that we catch more flies with honey, than we do with vinegar. It starts with a welcome mat.

A Captive Audience: Understanding the "Performing" part of Performing Arts

2011-08-31T08:05:00.000-07:00

I'm back from China! And there was no access to blogger whatsoever while I was there, so I finally now get to post this, which I started on two weeks ago before I left! Unfortunately, we've also been without power at home, due to Hurricane Irene, so thanks to work for having electricity and the interwebs...

Essentially, there are two kinds of dancing: social dancing - which essentially is dancing with other people and performance - dancing for other people. (And while you can argue while dancing at a club, some folks may be doing both, it's not what we're about to talk about here.) Bellydance, it's folkloric predecessors/companions/roots and such, are most often done as social dance "over there" - but also has a long history of being a performing art - from the modern day performers in Cairo, leading wedding processions and dancing late nights at hotels and clubs to the historical Ouled Nail in Algeria and Shikhat in Morocco, to cite just a few examples.

Here in the US, we most often are using and considering the dance as a performing art - but it is often passed along to students in a quasi-social dance context. Meaning, the art and performance aspect of the dance aren't as strongly emphasized as they should be, all the while, students are pushed/encouraged/rush to perform without the proper constructs to benefit both themselves and their potential future audiences. Or perhaps the constructs are given, but are ignored.

What am I getting at? It all relates to my frequently-asked-questions to my students worldwide "Why are you performing? What are you saying with your dance?" It's the next step after you figure out the why and what of YOU and your dance - "What are you saying to your audience? What about THEM?"

Yes, this dance can be amazing vehicle for self-expression and exploration. It can help you grow in ways you could have never imagined. It can help you figure out things about yourself, your life, your relationships, your health, your family. It can connect you to people and cultures across the world, new and old traditions, beliefs and customs. It is truly awesome - a gift, and a blessing.

However, this does not mean that an audience must be made to witness every portion of that personal journey in explicit detail.

Meaning? It's great that the dance can be a vehicle for change, but that doesn't mean that every concept your brain/heart comes up with, is appropriate to share with an audience - or more specifically, just ANY audience. It doesn't give you the right to hit everyone over the head with your sexuality, relationships, triumphs, and sorrows - especially if they didn't sign up for it. Don't hold others captive (in the worst way) because you see performing the dance solely as a means to work out your issues. I'm not saying you can't explore these topics in dance, but it's important to consider two things:

"Depth of Detail"
A lot of new performers make the mistake of thinking, in order to get an idea across, they need to be as blatant as possible. Actually, great pieces are often made up of exactly the opposite - concrete concepts expressed abstractly. The human mind is greatly capable of taking a few sections of a line or idea, and making the connections without aid. For example - a dotted line. It's not a continuous line, it's something made of dots, that is translated into a linear concept by our brain, making it easy to write upon and guide our hands. (And while we're at it, what you're reading right now is made up of dots, but you're not seeing those individual dots are you? No, your brain is connecting them and making them into recognizable letters.) In my "Dancing on the Right Side of the Brain" workshop, one of the exercises the students do is to perform a story without any props or costuming, all to a set piece of lyric-less music, and they are given very specific concepts they need to get across. It never fails that every time, a lot (if not all) of them panic at the thought, but they ALL manage to pull it off. So, you don't need everything and the kitchen sink to get a point across - and that props, costuming, and even the music are tools to help expand that concept, but it's the root of your dance movements and personal expression that truly relate what you need to say. That should be the starting point for all of your performances - at the bare bones, what can you say? What gets the point across most simply and effectively? Everything else is ornamentation. Make the dots, let your audience draw their own lines.

"Venue Appropriateness"
This one is a real biggie. There are many levels of performance options nowadays for bellydance. Haflas, theatrical shows, restaurants, cafes, clubs, themed events, etc. Nearly all of these things have different audiences. There's the dancers-for-dancers audience (meaning your audience is mainly other dancers), there's the general public audience (made up of non-dancers, who may not have had much exposure to the dance), there's target audiences (audiences who go for a specific theme, culture, or subculture - an art crowd, a mainly Middle Eastern crowd, a Gothic crowd, a Steampunk crowd, a Tribal crowd, an Oriental/Cabaret crowd, etc), and there's the mixed audiences (mixture of dancers, general, family perhaps, etc).

Your potential audience is a pretty important thing to consider, because they're the ones you're dancing for. If you make the mistake of considering them in a more social context - a sort of strange "I'm dancing with me, and they're along for the ride" - you're disconnecting from your audience and disrespecting the communication that can happen between you and them. I'm not saying the audience is the master of your performance creation and what you should do entirely, but you do need to consider them, and how you can best relate to each other. Who is your potential audience? What are they expecting? What do they know about dance? If the show is a Gothic-themed show, then the audience is going to be expecting something along those lines, making it a good venue for darker material, but not so good a venue for a typical restaurant set. A hafla that has both dancers and a lot of family members of all ages allows for variety, but should be considerate of all-ages and family-friendly in attire and subject matter. If it's a general public-exposure and they don't know a lot about bellydance, then pulling out your weirdest fusion concept is not a great idea - it not only confuses the audience, but makes a bad/incorrect connection with bellydance in their minds. If you ask yourself these questions, and sense an issue, then a course-correction is generally an excellent idea to allow for the most successful presentation and reception.

When you decide to start performing for audiences, you are taking on multiple responsibilities. You're representing not only yourself, but your dance genre, community, style, etc. Any time you dance for others, you're starting off a chain reaction. You may not think what you do in your town on your local stage may effect dancers outside of it, but it's entirely possible and often does - for better AND for worse. BELIEVE in this responsibility, because it does affect you, and others.

Lastly, you're not just dancing with you, you're dancing for them; you're responsible for reaching out and trying to connect with your audience in the best way possible. Respect them, communicate with them, acknowledge their part in your performance. Otherwise, you would really only be dancing with yourself.

Tribal Revolution Performance

2011-08-20T05:31:00.000-07:00

Update: blogger and facebook accessible at least at Beijing Hilton...so with that, here's my performance from Chicago's Tribal Revolution this past June, music by Nathaniel Johnstone (created for my DVD).

FYI - MIA

2011-08-17T13:57:00.000-07:00

Yiwu Market, where I'm heading....

When you hear/see about "design emergencies" on Project Runway, most people don't really consider that it applies to the "real world." I always liked PR in concept because it reminded me of my time at RISD, which pretty much meant going from one design emergency/challenge to another - but college as we know, rarely is the "real world" either.

My "other" job though as a fashion jewelry designer for a major company is as "real world" as you can get, and while sometimes we have a normal schedule, it really is about extreme problem solving with no lead time and limited supplies. Things happen fast without little notice and miracles must happen. Hence, I'll be on a plane to China on Friday and gone for at least 1 week, if not longer. China blocks facebook, among other websites (and possible google/gmail, which means this site as well, since it's run by google), so I will be more or less MIA until the end of this month. And since I will be half-way around the world from my normal position, 12 hours+ ahead, please refrain from trying to call OR text me, under penalty of disembowelment. If you need to get a hold of me, please e-mail me at "tempest(at)meddevi.com" (fix appropriately to send), and I will do my best to get back to you when I can.

I have several blog posts I want to get up, but time is really short, so if I can access this site, I will post them weekly - if not, then when I come back.

Art School for Bellydancers

2011-08-10T10:52:00.000-07:00

At the end of July, I taught the first "Museum Quality: Art School for Bellydancers" intensive in Indianapolis. It was 3 days-long with approximately 24 hours of instruction total, and I am extremely happy with the very clear results that I saw - they literally transformed in front of my eyes over those 3 days.

Despite repeated praise from students and peers alike that I seem to exude confidence on the stage and in the classroom, I must confess that every time before I teach, there's a sense of anxiety involved. Even after leading hundreds of workshops and classes, over half a decade of teaching dance (and much longer for art and metaphysics) - there's still a little trepidation of "will I give them what they need/want/expect?" Museum Quality was no exception, not only considering the length of the intensive and the intimacy of group, but also presenting visual arts-based concepts to dancers.

A lot of people nowadays seem to be talking about art and artistry in dance (new bandwagon?), but few of them come from a fine arts background. I'm seeing a lot of concept being thrown around without much connection to real and helpful execution that makes for truly better dance, and especially bellydance. Quotes are nice, but the ideas need to be able to truly flow down and exist in the body in order to take hold. You can't dance just in your head. Not in my studio. My regular workshops often incorporate artistry on different levels (especially "Dancing on the Right Side of the Brain", "Journey to the Underworld," and "Strange Presence"), but I wanted to go deeper, farther, more comprehensive - really making the concrete connection with fine art, so I created Museum Quality.

So I incorporated visual arts exercises (from critique technique to hands-on drawing), drawn from my 30+ years of fine art experience/education, and used them as tools to get the students to not only be more creative in their dancing, but to be more present in their dance and look not only at the details, but the whole picture, and bring their musicality to the next level. I carefully balanced the visual arts exercises with dance time application, lecture, and discussion, striving for the right mix. I know the processes worked for me personally, but the question was - would they work for other people? Especially those from a variety of styles, levels of experience, and not necessarily familiar with the visual arts?

The resounding answer across the board was YES. One of the things I pride myself on as a teacher is being able to adapt to what the students present need, versus trying to cram a static syllabus down their throats. I believe you can maintain structure while being versatile without losing focus and form. I also believe you can implement change without ripping apart everything a dancer is. That's not how you nurture style or self-worth. So as we moved along through my intended points, we were able to work on what they needed most, while building on their inherent skills, and it really paid off. Everyone was on board for the challenges I presented and even when they were uncomfortable, they were still willing to try what I threw at them, and it showed amazingly well in the results.

I am so proud of these women and what they accomplished, and look forward to watching them to continue to grow as dancers.

Learn more about what Museum Quality is here.

Mouth Closed, Ears Open.

2011-07-18T14:13:00.000-07:00

There's often a point in most dancers' training where they have to try and justify everything - sometimes why they're doing something right, but most especially when they're caught doing something wrong. Whether it's about a performance, or something being done in class - the automatic reaction is the mouth opens and words come. The hardest part is not about doing something right or wrong, but learning about when to shut the mouth.

This revelation came in two-part process for me, more or less. And I believe it involved a grilled cheese sandwich, as most things do.

It was a weekend, about 6 or 7 years ago, when I had traveled down to Southern California for some events - I think it was a few strung together to make the trip extra worthwhile - a performance at a benefit, teach a workshop, and a theater show. Back in those days especially, a trip to LA really threw me off energy-wise, almost like coming down with the flu - without the vomiting - but I hadn't really figured this out yet, and let's just say that first performance I'd probably file under "craptastic." And I knew it, and I just couldn't keep my mouth shut about it, even at the event. The next day, after the workshop, I was having lunch with Princess Farhana (like you do), and I was telling her about how badly it went the night before - at least according to me and my brain - in between nomming my grilled cheese sandwich. And that's pretty much when she told me I needed to (learn how to) shut up. That even if it goes badly, zip the lips, put your chin up, smile, and keep it yourself. Took a while for that to sink in, but she was very much right (as usual). If it goes really bad, it doesn't help anyone, especially yourself, to be apologetic to everyone and wallow in it. Nobody wants to hear it - and if people did enjoy your performance anyway, it doesn't make them feel good to hear you think you sucked, and most often we're our own worst critics anyway. Move on, make notes, do better next time. I would extend the same theory to when it goes really great - be happy, enjoy it, take notes, and move on. Either way, acknowledge people's feedback positively and graciously, and be congenial, yet concise.

So, that's part one of keeping your trap shut. The other part is in the classroom. I don't remember the exact point of when I learned to do it myself (and whether it involved grilled cheese or not), but I do remember the time I became aware of it as a phenomenon via a class I was teaching. It was a performance-level class, and part of the class involved me critiquing the students so they could be better performers. And for every item I commented on, there was a response for why or why they didn't do something from the students. In a nutshell, there was an excuse for everything, and it was starting to irk me - until I remembered doing it with one of my own teachers back in the day. As a student, you desperately want to be right, to show your teacher that you do know better, and you want to voice that. But in the larger scheme of things, this is really unnecessary, and is a waste of breath and time. Your teacher (most likely) knows you are not a moron, and knows and believes you can do better - he or she is trying to help you be the best you can be. And the only way to do that is to listen and acknowledge what is being said, and start to think about how to make those changes - instead of making an excuse or trying to prove you know better. Don't talk about doing or knowing better, DO it, SHOW it, BE it. The only way you can prove yourself is by demonstrating that ability in the classroom and on the stage, not debating it with your instructor.

Lastly, this is not to say you shouldn't discuss problems and concerns with your teacher. There is a time and place for that - usually outside the classroom or perhaps during a private lesson. What I'm talking about here is learning to accept critique from your teacher by realizing you're not on trial, you don't need to cite evidence to prove your case - just open your ears to listen to what your teacher is saying, and look realistically at what you're doing and see what needs to change. Saves more meaningful mouth-time for that grilled cheese sandwich.

How Does Your Dance Grow?

2011-07-08T09:52:00.000-07:00

I think one of the most important things I have learned on my journey, and that I try to impress upon my students, is the different avenues that are available to us to grow our dance, and the best way to use each. I believe there are 3 main ways that are crucial to a dancer's development, and it's very important to understand how to use each wisely. These are: performance, regular classes, and workshops. Each of these things are vital learning opportunities - the crucial point though is to understand how to use them properly to get the most of yourself and your dancing.

Regular Classes:
Regular classes should be the command center for technique: foundation, movement development and exploration. This is the best opportunity to not only learn new core movements and dance structure, but to also perfect your understanding of them, review them, and to master them. The familiar classroom is the best place to get proper critique and correction, to insure that what you're practicing at home is the best way for your health and body. If your teacher doesn't give you feedback in class (often due to class-size, or sometimes because a teacher fears that critique will lead to student loss), then make sure you let him/her know that you are looking for it, and perhaps schedule a private lesson with them to work on certain points. Don't assume because you're not getting any personal critique, doesn't mean you're doing it right/you are made of awesomesauce. Often when I draw my class's attention to a specific detail or insight, it's because it's something nearly (if not all) everyone needs to pay attention to.

Sometimes there just aren't regular classes in your area, or your schedule or budget makes it very difficult to attend them. Then you need to supplement them with some sort of other regular program. One option is DVDs - which can be great sources of information - the only drawback is you can't get corrections or critique from them. So if there is at least a teacher in your area, or someone you can make a monthly trip to go see, then schedule a private lesson with them. Often just one hour of private lessons with a good teacher can give you a month of key points to work on - and they can compare your progress with the last time. There are also now a variety of online classes, video-review options, skype lessons, etc.

Sometimes a dancer will think because they have been dancing for a couple years, they've outgrown all of their local classes - rarely is this true. Taking a basics class can be a great refresher on moves you may have forgotten or have gotten lazy about - and different teachers have different ways of approaching and explaining things. The best dancers never say "I'm above all this basic stuff."

Workshops:
Workshops are ideal for expanding upon the foundation you create and grow in regular classes. They're also a great way to be exposed to new/different ideas and styles. The best way to get the most out of any workshop is to have your foundation elements in place, so that you can worry more about getting the concepts down.

A single workshop in a topic should be seen as a sampling of a concept, which means a single workshop taken does not make you an expert on the subject or now qualified to teach it yourself. I have heard people say "I want to learn a choreography in X style of dance, so I can add it to my repertoire." That's not really the point of taking a workshop - you can't add a new style of dance to your offerings after a couple of hours. Rather, a choreography or group of combinations in a given style is presented for you to start understanding how it's put together, why it's done that way, etc - and generally just be better educated about that dance form.

Workshops are also a great way to study with dancers you may not get to see often, and deepen your understanding of their style and skills. They can also be really key in unlocking new doors for your own personal style, figuring out what works and what doesn't. They should challenge your mind and your body in healthy, creative ways, and you should come home with at least 2-3 new points of consideration - whether it's an idea, a movement, etc. Don't be disgruntled if you can't remember a whole choreography - again, that's not the purpose. You're going to most likely have a lot of new information thrown at you, and chances are, you're not going to remember all of it. And that's totally OK! Just take the time to explore those several concepts you do remember, and add them to your journey.

Performing
The last way we grow our dance is through performing. No matter how much you practice a piece, something else happens when you go on stage and perform it live for an audience. Through performing, we learn a lot about ourselves, the best and the worst. We can learn what works and what doesn't work, AND we have the freedom to change it for next time. I think it's crucial to have a goal that you set for yourself for each and every performance - anywhere from "pretty hands" to "connecting with the audience" - and these goals really do add up and help you process your dance better.

The Power of Three
Lastly, what's really essential with these three things, is that they are used TOGETHER. If you only ever do regular classes - and only with one teacher, you won't expand your dance horizons without workshops and experimenting with different styles. If you only ever do workshops, you're cutting out the foundation upkeep and critique you need from regular classes. If you only ever perform, your dance won't grow anywhere as much as it would with classes and workshops. If you really wish to truly grow your dance, and grow it strong, consider how you can make room in your life and your budget for all 3, because it will make the difference.

Gathering Muses

2011-06-30T08:55:00.000-07:00

I am often asked where my inspiration comes from, what inspires me?

The short answer: anywhere, anything, and everything.

You see, first of all, I don't separate my inspirations out per genre. There is no "this is for visual art" and "this is for dance" and "this is for writing." Rather, what I work on in my art often influences my dancing, and vice versa (as evidenced by the Baladi series, which I started to make when I first started bellydancing.)

What I don't do though, is look for inspiration in the same genre or media I'm looking for. Meaning I don't specifically seek out the work of printmakers or bellydancers to use as a starting point for my work. I often get invigorated to make new work after going to a festival or gallery, but the drive to make work does not correlate with what inspires me to make it. I DO look into the work of parallel categories - such as sculpture or weaving, or historical dance to find inklings of an ideas - from a color palette to a sense of movement. But more often than not, my inspiration starts on a whole other plane of existence. It can be from a piece of jewelry, a song, a movie, an old photo, a design on a rug, a myth, a situation in my life, a pattern on the ceiling, a random comment - seriously anywhere. I collect images online and physically and keep them in folders that I can look at. If something catches my eye, I save it, no matter what. It may not be what I'm looking for RIGHT THIS MOMENT, but 6 months later or 3 years, it may be - and I'd rather not drive myself nuts trying to find it wherever I saw it first. The walls of my office and my studio are covered in images of things that have caught my eye, and I regularly take things down and put new things up (and archive the old images).

So don't be afraid to accept inspiration wherever it comes, even if it doesn't seem "normal." Collect it, gather it where you can, and save it. Create an image or sound archive that you can immerse yourself in when you need a new direction. Don't be afraid to explore a concept until you've really exhausted it or confidently feel you can put it aside. Don't dismiss anything before you've tried it, pushing the society/them voice aside and really LOOK at the idea and consider it without judgment. Don't be afraid that you may be repeating yourself - most often the greatest work starts off with a familiar pattern that changes much more deeply in the process, unlocking doors. Don't be afraid to collaborate, get feedback, and challenge yourself - trying to save or protect an idea is a futile concept. The muses, they are slutty, and trust me, they will get the idea out there somewhere, somehow, if you don't do it yourself. And if you tackle it in your own way, in your own voice, it will always be yours in that regard. Yes, perhaps "everything has been done before", but not by YOU.

And here's some of my favorite online places to go looking (all very different from each other in what they offer):

Booooooom!
Twisted Lamb
My Marrakesh
Trial By Steam
Wearable Art Blog
Jewelry Whore
Ekosystem

Happy Gathering!

Inspiration, the Artist & the Audience

2011-06-22T06:55:00.000-07:00

You can pretty much separate an artist's mind into two states: "inspired and working through it" and "waiting to be inspired." The latter is usually accompanied by nail-biting, melancholy, and thoughts of "OMG, what if I never have another good idea again?!" Which is rather silly if you actually do function actively as an artist, because you KNOW something always comes along, but yet, we go through this negative process time and time again.

Perhaps it's because we're always measuring our current projects up to our past successes - which is also rather silly, because everything looks better in hindsight, and you can never go back to exactly that one moment in time. Actually, I think most artists do understand this, but the issue perhaps lays more in the audience, who rarely know/understand the process behind art-making (be it music, painting, poetry, dance, etc), and pretty much all they have to look at is whatever is laying before them and what THEY remember about it and THEIR experience with it. Worrying about how the audience will respond is what causes that valley of doubt in artists. Which in turn can corrupt the creative process, and set the artist off on the wrong path.

Which is not to be interpreted as me saying, "the audience doesn't matter" - because especially for performance, what really brings the art to life is that interaction between the audience and the work*. Art is meant to be experienced - first by the artist through the process of art-making and then by the world. But if you seek to create a piece with strictly audience response in mind, you're truncating the process and gliding across the surface of an idea rather than delving into it. What makes art honest - and most successful in my opinion, is work that you can tell was fully explored by the artist, through the artist, and then offered to the audience.

Let me put this is in terms that are more concrete:
-If you're a painter, you use the color red heavily because it means something to you, it has a purpose and an integrity to the work, and you simply MUST use red. Rather than using red because you heard it's the hot new interior designer color and it means you could sell more work.
-If you're a musician, you use a certain instrument because it rocks your soul and moves you to create, versus playing something because it's convenient or attracts the opposite sex.
-If you're a writer, you write about what really inspires you and what you know, versus concocting another vapid teen vampire romance, because those are so hot and selling at the moment.
-If you're a dancer, you choose movements that make you feel amazing, work with the music, and compliment your body, versus using whatever Big Name Dancer is currently doing or did last week. Or choosing music that really moves your soul versus what everyone else is using.

I guess what I'm really talking about here is "selling out." (And I swear I really started this post with the idea to talk about inspiration and where it comes from...oops...) While in the short term, it may seem a good idea to either try and mimic a past success, or copy whatever everyone else is doing to get noticed (Look! I'm standing out by doing something crazy! Just like everyone else!) - it may get you temporary satisfaction, but it won't last long, because the cycle will continue onward, and the process will get farther and farther away from being in the realm of art-making - the audience WILL lose interest, and that valley is going to be even more deeper when you hit it.

Here's the dirty truth about Art: It ain't easy. It's not supposed to be easy, and it's going to be messy at times. It doesn't follow recipes consistently, especially if you're substituting in gimmick for substance. It's got to be honest for it to truly be successful. And rather than trying so hard to find inspiration for that next great idea, let it come to you, don't force it, and don't worry. It will come, and probably smack you down and take your wallet while it's at it. (Gotta watch out for those Muses...) Lastly, not every idea is going to be successful - even going through the process entirely, doesn't mean it will be a hit. Art is a bit like Russian roulette in that way - but if you don't take the risk, you'll never find out. You just have to keep trying.

So with that to consider, I would like to leave you with one of my favorite art-related quotes of all time:
“Surely all art is the result of one's having been in danger, of having gone through an experience all the way to the end, where no one can go any further” - Rainer Maria Rilke

*I think I've talked about enough in the past about how performances shouldn't be "private moments on stage" where you're holding the audience hostage to whatever "art" you want to explore, in order to be in the spotlight. Art is communication - and it's particularly a dialogue between the artist and the audience - not a lecture or display of self-indulgence (unless you're doing a piece about the 7 Deadly Sins perhaps..and even then..)

Birthday/Release Special & News

2011-06-10T09:18:00.000-07:00

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not particularly great or proactive about marketing and promotion. Case in point, I haven't drastically updated the look of my website in several years (just the content and about once a year or more, I update the gallery), and while I started promoting this special offer on the 4th of June, I have yet to post it here, and that would probably be a smart thing to do.

So yes, the DVD is officially available! All of the pre-orders/fundraiser copies have been sent out (some last Friday, the rest today, had to split it up because we have over a 100 to send!) and as a special offer in honor of the release and my birthday on the 13th, when you order the DVD by Monday, you will receive a code to download the amazing music created especially for the DVD (6 songs!) by Nathaniel Johnstone (of Abney Park & The Nathaniel Johnstone Band) for FREE. (FYI - if you live in Canada, please use the DOMESTIC button vs. the International one for your shipping.) Go here to buy! http://darklydramatic.com/artistrydvd.html

Hopefully over the weekend I will have time to update the website with all of the amazing reviews and feedback I've already received for the DVD - thank you so much to everyone who has supported this project.

And if you want even more of what the DVD offers (because you can only squeeze so much in a 2.5 hour-long DVD), there are just a few spaces left in the first US-based "Museum Quality" Intensive taking place in Indianapolis in July, and Celeste has announced that the early-bird rate will hold for just a few more days - so don't miss out on this amazing experience to fully explore artistry in your dance with me! Concept, technique, and creativity all compounded into 3 solid days that will blow your mind! http://www.celestebellydance.com/museumquality.html

Entertaining Dance Vs. Evolving Bellydance

2011-06-06T08:44:00.000-07:00

Variety is the spice of life, or so they say. A show is often more interesting and entertaining for the audience when there is a variety of styles and kinds of presentations, versus all of the same exact style and artist - comparison and contrast between performances allows for palette cleansing, critical thinking, and general overall enjoyment.

When I first started dancing, fusion performances were among the minority, which often made them stand-out in a line-up. Usually the "fusion" was a blending of dances (say Indian and Bellydance, or Flamenco and Bellydance) or using something un-traditional - like a rock song instead of Arabic music. These rarely pushed the envelope, but still provided a sense of variety and contrast to a more traditional line-up. Which generally made them a bit easier to remember to the average audience member, who may not know the amazing differences between a Turkish Romani piece, a Melaya Leff, and an American Cabaret piece.

(It should be stated that even within a given style or genre, there can be a lot of variation - a show on Egyptian dance can feature pieces that are modern as well as classic/Golden age - folkloric, and fantasy - and that will generally be far more entertaining than 20 dancers all showcasing modern in similar lycra costuming and pop music. Same with Gothic - performances can span from industrial and cyber to romantic and steampunk, from dark and mysterious to light and comedic - a lot more exciting than 20 dancers all in black tribal fusion attire popping and locking with angry faces to techno.)

It doesn't take a genius to figure out though, that if a piece really stands out, is in extreme contrast to everything else, it will be recognized for that and get talked about. And every performer wants to be recognized and talked about (preferably in a positive light). So there has been a distinct trend in recent years to try and out-contrast everyone else in an effort to stand out. The problem with this is that instead of offering a variety of pieces that compliment each other, a show can become a cacophony of "LOOK AT ME" - which means often that performers then try even harder to be louder and more different. This can be very problematic on several levels.

On one hand, it is an excellent idea to challenge and push oneself. In fact, this is at the root of artistry - not being satisfied and continuing to push forward. But it shouldn't happen solely for the sake of comparison to others - because you can only truly compete with yourself. When you seek to compete with others, you may stop evolving within the true nature of yourself. Because in order to "compete", it often means making yourself similar to someone else, rather than following your own inclinations.

Another problem is how far do you go before it stops being coherent with the overall thread of things? More specifically, when does it stop being bellydance? Or does that matter? I suppose it depends on the show and the venue, but I also think a lot of people aren't asking themselves this question. Recently I saw a piece I enjoyed - it was fun, it was well-choreographed, good costuming, and musicality - and so on those terms, it was very successful. But then I asked myself, what does this have to to do with bellydance? Besides a few isolations - nothing. So yes, it was entertaining and done well as dance piece, but it really didn't have anything to do with bellydance - not in the music, or the costuming, subject matter, or the movements - but it was presented at a bellydance show by someone known for being a bellydancer - and that was the fine string that connected it all. And I asked myself, is that enough? Especially when less-discriminating audience members are most likely thinking "that was cool! I need to do something like that to stand out and get recognized!"

Likewise, I saw rave reviews afterwards about a performance I had seen live at another event, commenting on excellent technique, musicality, etc. I watched the video to remind myself of the piece, and I agreed there were some beautiful lines and lovely dancing, but three minutes in, I had yet to see anything bellydance about it. Modern dance, yes, contemporary yes, ballet, yes....bellydance no. Was it good dancing? Yes. Was it bellydance? No. What someone held up as their best favorite representation of bellydance at an event, wasn't even bellydance. My mind boggled, and the irony is not lost on me that the main complaint coming out of my mouth, is the same complaint I heard rallied against fusion over the last 10+ years - so if MY eyes can't find the bellydance, then there's something serious going on.

I think it's extremely vital for us as a community right now to consider these questions when watching performances, and to ask this of ourselves, if we wish to continue to be known as bellydancers and perform in bellydance arenas. We need to be able to recognize the difference between a good dance performance and a good bellydance performance. It doesn't have be traditional bellydance in order to be good bellydance, but it also shouldn't be so far outside the spectrum that it ceases to retain any of the qualities and characteristics you should find under the bellydance umbrella. And if these things aren't clear to YOU as a dancer, then it's time to get more educated about traditional bellydance. In order for us to move forward and evolve, we have to know our roots.

And just because it's being presented on a stage at a bellydance festival by your favorite dancer isn't enough to make it bellydance, or mean it's a good idea either. Do your research, expand your roots, and get those brains moving people! Trust me, it's a good thing!

What does it for me?

2011-05-31T08:27:00.000-07:00

Staple me down please. I've just got back from Spring Caravan in NJ, on the heels of just getting back from Tribal Fest in California, and I need to override my tendency to be a workaholic and take a bit of a break (though I'm already looking forward to Tribal Revolution in Chicago at the end of this month).

During the course of both of these events, it was asked/discussed "What style of bellydance do you like to watch the most?" and "What were your favorite performances?" A lot of people assume that for me, it must be Gothic, or some sort of fusion, etc - but in the same way, most people never know what I'm going to do next, what I like is also not predictable. Or is it?

When I was younger and newer to the dance, I had my favorite styles to watch. I looked for the dancers my instructors and friends recommended, listened for music that would catch my ears, and the rest seemed a blur. Thousands of dancers/performances and a dizzying multitude of events, festivals, shows, and haflas later, things have changed - not only personally for me, but the community as well. I still have my favorites to watch, but they are a very diverse group of dancers if you were to put them all in the same room. If I were to list my favorite performances from either event, while you would find a couple "big names" in there (and there's a certainly bit of bias because not only are they great dancers, but they also happen to be my friends/mentors), but you'd find that a lot of them aren't the most popular names out there or even dancers you've ever heard of at all. What pulls them all together? What catches my eye and interest? Why?

I have managed to narrow it down to a singular quality: brave sincerity. The ability for the dancer to be true to herself in her dance, regardless of what style of dance she's performing and how long she's been dancing. It can be Gothic or Steampunk Fusion, or it could be straight Egyptian or Turkish Oriental, or Khaleegy. It could be a student troupe or a someone who has been dancing for 30 years. What brings them together is the desire to dance to the best of their ability, that they have taken the time to consider their dance as a whole - from the costuming, to the movements, to the music - and how they all relate, and that who they are in that moment shines through. And it's clear they're not afraid to be who they are. There's a sense of artistry founded in good technique, married with stage presence. That's my sweet spot and what I look for.

I link bravery with sincerity because it's not an easy thing to be yourself, especially in this community. It's much easier to be a clone, to pander to what's popular, to present the consistently familiar and crowd-pleasing. Because the reality is, rarely does what's truly new/different/innovative/unusual equal crowd-pleasing, when you're dealing with the masses. Most people prefer to be presented with something formulaic and familiar, it's more comfortable on the brain. They're not looking to be challenged in any way, unless it's pre-approved and expected. What they tend to think of as new/different, has already been around and kicking for quite some time, and has become acceptable over time. And it is extremely hard as a performer to not cater to that sense of instant approval because all performers want to be acknowledged as successful, to be praised for what they do. So it's extremely exciting for me to watch dancers who fight that tendency, and dare to be themselves, whether they're presenting fusion or folklore, tradition or trend-setting. For me, everything else is boring. Show pony big name/clone in overpriced costuming doing the same thing to a slightly different song? Big whoop. Seen it. Give me a student troupe who have clearly worked their hearts out presenting their piece, and you'll see my heart move. That dancer you've never heard of, doing her own take on a trend? I want it. Really well-done passionate oriental? Bring it. Tribal style that's fun with an awesome group dynamic with dancers of all shapes and ages? Yes please!

Be you, and I'll be there for you. I promise.

all the news that is...

2011-05-18T08:09:00.000-07:00

No rest for the wicked, as I write this way too early from bed in California, having arrived last night and am still on EST. As some may noticed, I'm a little off-schedule this month for weekly posts - as I've been up to my ears in getting the DVD ready, getting ready for Tribal Fest, have a huge project at work, International Steampunk City the other weekend, etc - so it's been nuts. So I'm just going to touch base here:

-I'm a Tribal Fest 11 in Sebastopol, California this week and weekend! I'm teaching TWO workshops on Thursday (of which I believe there is still some room in each) - "Musicality & 'Motion" at 10:15am and then "Shimmies - Sassy to Sizzling" at 12:15 (and yeap, those are back to back, so eat a big breakfast and bring a snack!) - then I'll be at the Meet & Greet that night. I'm performing on FRIDAY at 6:51pm, debuting music from my DVD! And I'm vending Friday-Sunday in my usual spot in the main room, by the entrance.

-"Bellydance Artistry" DVD Project! We had hoped for a TF11 release, but alas, nope. BUT I do have a demo on hand for preview, and we should have the DVDs in hand for Spring Caravan next week! I am SO excited about how it came together and looks! I am still accepting pre-orders for the DVD (at TF and via the website), and if you purchase a pre-order by the end of this weekend, you'll also get a special coupon for downloading the music!

-Steampunk Bellydance Shirts! I have a new design on tanks and tee's and it's STEAMY! Will have them for sale at Tribal Fest - and you can still pre-order these as well for Spring Caravan or ship to anywhere!

-Spring Caravan! Is next weekend! I'm teaching a special 3 hour workshop on Thursday afternoon (Gothic Trilogy) and Nouveau Noir Dance on Saturday morning. I'm performing solo at 8:40pm on Friday night, and performing with my lovely students at 7:24pm on Saturday night - featuring our "Reverse Djinn" piece! And of course, I'm vending all weekend.

So there's a LOT going on! See you there!

No Fear Bellydance!

2011-05-02T14:26:00.000-07:00

You probably don't know this about me, but I grew up surfing at the (real) Jersey shore. My older brothers were surfers, and so by the age of 6, I was up and standing on a real full-size fiberglass surfboard (single fin, with a beautiful star with a rainbow tail, Rainbow Brite - eat your heart out), riding waves. I actively surfed and also had a small collection of Morey Boogie boards that I saved up for well through my late teens. The older I got though, the more my widening hip bones did not care for the bruising contact of the board as the surf banged it against them, and the more I was aware that this was a very dangerous activity. So you could say fear and self-preservation entered the equation, but the connection I really wanted to make here is the surfer-brand of "No Fear" because that's the first thing I think of when I hear that phrase.

But I still like to connect it with bellydance when I can, because it's also a phrase I like to tell my students. "No fear!" when it comes to performing! "No fear!" when it comes to trying something new! "No fear!" when it comes to trying something again. "No fear!" that there WILL be another time.

And so I got to thinking, when IS fear appropriate with dance, and when does it really show up when we least expect it? When is fear the root of our issues and what can we do about it? When is it controlling us more than we are controlling it?

There are two kinds of fear and how they affect us. I mentioned in my blog post about bullying that fear of losing control, popularity, etc, is a big factor behind why most people bully. In fact, I think fear has a lot to do with most negative behavior that can be found within our community. There's our fears that can harm ourselves internally/personally (and not directly affect anyone else) - we'll call this Interior Fear, and then there's our fears that can cause other people harm - Exterior Fear.

Some examples of Interior Fears:
-Stage Fright (any of the fears related to performing in front of other people)
-Class/Workshop Fear (fear of looking like you don't know what you're doing in a classroom setting)
-Poser Fear (fear of being shown you don't know what you're doing/talking about)
-Live Music Fear (fear that the musicians will unleash something random and horrible upon you, making you look like a moron)
-Improv Fear (fear of doing anything improvised)
-Choreography Fear (fear of failing to remember choreography)
-Fangirl Fear (fear of being rejected/sneered at by your idol)

How to overcome Interior Fears: Well, every situation is different, but really the best antidote is doing. You'll never know unless you try, and the more you do something, the more comfortable you will become with it. Often, we make a situation far worse in our head than it can ever be in real life, and life is all about experiences. Some will be good, some will be bad, but they're all worth it, because we can learn from them. No one has it all together right off the bat, it takes time to develop skill and nurture talent. The irony is, the more accepting that you are of that you may indeed look like a moron, the less likely the chances you will actually become one.

Some examples of Exterior Fears:
-Losing students to other teachers
-Losing fans to other performers
-Losing status/popularity

How to overcome Exterior Fears: A lot of things I see in the community make me scratch my head - especially when actions extremely defy logic and sense, and I've come to the conclusion that logical reasoning is clearly absent and has been pushed out by fear, especially when the excuses that coming pouring out don't make any sense. I'm going to tackle each of these fears separately:

-Losing students to other teachers. I've heard all sorts of interesting reasons why people don't host workshops with other teachers or tell their students about them. There's the logical ones: no budget, too busy, honestly didn't know about an event, or they want to check out a teacher first before they expose their students to them so they can make a solid recommendation. The ones that generate the more "interesting" reasons usually have the same thing though at heart - the teacher is afraid that she may lose students to other teachers - which not only shows a great amount of personal insecurity, but also may prevent the students from becoming better, more rounded dancers. We become better dancers through being exposed to more instructors and performers - sometimes it's a lesson of what to do, or how to do it differently, and sometimes it's a lesson of what NOT to do. If a student is meant to move on, then let her/him move on. If they want to try something different, let them have their own experience. If you're doing a good job, they will still be there for you. There will always be more students for good teachers. If it comes down to doubting oneself and your own ability, then it's time to brush up on your own skills and expand your education.

-Losing fans to other performers. I don't understand snubbing other performers when they're offering to dance at/partake of your event. I think the most common fear some producers have is having someone do better than themselves or that people will like those other performers more. But variety is the spice of life! And a little healthy competition makes us all more on our game. Everyone has their strengths and weakness. There's also the concept of creating a show and letting everyone know the terms, limits, and expectations, and then there's bullshitting (for lack of a more elegant term.) Make terms clear and standard for everyone, or don't make it sound like you're open to all and then not be. Treat everyone with respect and be direct. Also, consider good business sense. If a well-known or high quality dancer wants to participate in my show, I will make the room for them - because they will help increase the draw and the level of the show, plus it's damn good karma - and chances are, even if the schedule appears tight, something always happens, so it's not a bad thing to budget for another 5-7 more minutes. Also, I'm always up for giving a new performer a new opportunity - you just never know! I'm also aware of supporting other local teachers/performers when possible to help strengthen the community and show mutual respect. It really is a win-win. And lastly, so what if someone is a better performer than you? This is just how things are, and you can only truly compete against yourself.

-Losing status/popularity. I also don't get the popularity game. I don't understand stunts, rumors, and other perceptions involved with this game. You never know what will make people happy or turn them off, because you can't please all of the people all of the time. Some people will go fangirl over anything, and other people are finicky. You can't let it get to you. The key thing is to do the best job YOU can, do what YOU believe in, and act with respect with others. That's the best way to not only be yourself (and a true original), but also build momentum the most positive way. Everything ebbs and flows. Today you're riding the wave, tomorrow you're getting wiped out. But there will always be more waves and other day. But if you're true to yourself, you'll be in for the long ride no matter what.

No Fear!

DVD Eve....

2011-04-22T12:23:00.000-07:00

This weekend we are filming "Bellydance Artistry." I can't believe it's happening tomorrow. Tonight will be spent practicing with my girls, gathering everything we need for tomorrow (attire, make-up, jewelry, music, notes), putting finishing touches on my costume for Sunday, and doing my nails. I'm still in a bit of awe that everything has come together. Nathaniel has done an amazing job with the music, I've got a great videographer who understands the project, and how important good, clean, well-lit shots are, the locations are scheduled and we have plenty of time to do what we need to do. I'm still amazed, honored, and so appreciative that so many people helped us reach our goal for the project.

As I look over the material and estimate the running time, and map how it will be navigated, my hopes are that this will be a practice companion that dancers will be able to use on a regular basis, for a variety of reasons. I believe that dancers from different styles and levels of experience will all find something they can resonate with and work with. The material really stresses my dance philosophy - how I approach the dance from the inside out, how to get the most out your movements, fusion through foundation, and artistic process. It's not a "feel the burn" kind of DVD, b/c that's not my philosophy - but rather, processes that condition both the body and mind together.

If you're new to this blog, you can read a bit more about the project at http://www.darklydramatic.com/artistry.html

(photo from Angels & Absinthe Show, by Insomniac Studios, St. Louis, MO)

Fundamentals of Fusion

2011-04-17T16:36:00.000-07:00

Just published today on the Gilded Serpent, a new article I wrote about Fusion Bellydance. It's a rather lengthy discourse (which shouldn't surprise most of you, if you've been here a bit..), so you may want to get a nice cup of tea and some cookies before settling down to read it. Got it? Ok, here you go!

How to Make It in Bellydance...or Not.

2011-04-07T10:11:00.000-07:00

So last week's post was about spreading a little love around. I had thought about making this week's post being a direct contrast in the "when is it OK to not spread the love around" sort of vibe. To be clear, I wasn't professing that you need to love every dancer out there, because seriously there are some bat-shit crazy (BSC) people out there. In fact, I had gone so far to officially designate 2010 my "guano-free" year, meaning eliminating the BSC people out of my life, and it's become somewhat of an institution now since it cut out a huge amount of unnecessary stress. I'm a pretty easy-going person with the gift/curse of being able to reason/understand other people's issues, so I can put up with a lot. A LOT.

But there are some things in this community we shouldn't be putting up with. And one thing in particularly I've seen far too much of recently all over the dance community is bullying (for lack of a better word). Essentially what I'm talking about is aggressive/abusive behavior used to get one's way. I hate to use the term "bullying" here because it tends to conjure up ideas of grammar school playground teasing (not to belittle that type of abuse at all, because it is a rather serious problem), and what we're dealing with are full-grown adults engaging in extremely negative behavior to achieve their desired results. Whether it's hate mail (email, letters, phone messages, or texts) sent directly to the individual, or communication targeted at other people/organizations/events who may know them/be involved with them, physical and destructive actions or threats, the aggressor is using negativity to push people to do what she wants, often on a very public scale. Often the aggressor will also recruit sympathizers, who furthermore add to the waves of negativity, most often because they don't know the whole story or want to win favor. She fears losing power and control, and will do what she can to retain it, rarely thinking about what is best for others.

In most cases, the aggressor feels that she has been wronged in some way (and hence considers herself a victim), and that justifies her extreme behavior. The "wrong" could be a new competitor in town (dancer or event), someone voicing an opinion she didn't like or exposing a truth about the aggressor, or someone refusing to follow or agree to her terms/desires. Rather than considering her own role or possible responsibility in the situation, OR evaluating how one can rationally and positively improve or correct the situation, the aggressor turns to vocal violence to attempt to get resolution/satisfaction.

In fact, most of the situations I've encountered exemplify the bully-as-a-victim scenario, to the extreme where the bully has manufactured or falsely claimed similar behavior against her to get attention. Sometimes, they start off having a real offense/problem, but then things get out of control, and all of a sudden, it's the Salem Witch Trials all over again. But most often the "wrong" is a difference of opinion or a misunderstanding of fact, rather than anyone intentionally trying to cause the aggressor harm. The truth is, most actual victims of bullying rarely speak out/up, nor are they likely to engage in this sort of behavior as a means of justification. They just want the abuse to go away, so they give-in, give-up, or go away. And the bully knows this, hence why it's her chosen weapon to get what she wants, whether it's attention to exalt herself, to make a competitor go away or lose money, damage someone else's reputation, or just ride a power trip of ego.

And most likely, you're sitting there reading this post thinking "That's crazy! Outrageous! How can anyone do that or let someone behave like that!? Real professionals wouldn't do that, must be inexperienced dancers!" or you're nodding along with several different encounters in mind. The sad truth is, most of the situations I can recall involved senior-level dancers (aka "professionals" and experienced, established individuals), whose behavior was excused because "well, that's just who she is and besides, she's a fabulous dancer/teacher/promoter/etc." Why is that OK? Why are we accepting this harmful behavior as the norm? Do we truly benefit from keeping them in business? Are we really helping them by ignoring it? Are we saying that these people are just talented animals who can't learn to behave better?

Now, we all go through tough times and don't always behave as well as we should, and if we can recognize and acknowledge those bad times and lack of good judgment, then forgiveness is definitely a viable option. But when someone is a repeat offender without any sense of self-exploration, then shame on us for continuing to support them, because they will never learn, and they only continue on their cycle of negativity. And people think it's OK, as long as it's not happening to them personally. Which is a fault-ridden position, because really, it's only a matter of time until she fixes her gaze on YOU or someone you care about. Folks, it's not that big of a community. How many wolves do we need? Do we even NEED wolves?

How do we eliminate this sort of negativity from our community? The first thing is to check ourselves, and make sure we're not the ones propagating it. Yes, we should all stand up for ourselves, our dance, our business, but HOW we do that is key. You can work to solve problems in a positive manner, keeping cool (or counting/breathing) when faced with issues that set us off, and not fly off the cuff. You can choose not to spread rumors or hearsay and not blindly accept everything you may hear as truth. Open up the lines of positive communication by asking questions, clearing up misunderstandings, and clarifying where there is confusion. Instead of blaming someone else for a problem, consider what your own role in it was or could be, and help works toward a solution. If you need to discuss a problem, then seek advice from a few trusted, impartial sources, not everyone with an ear within 10 feet of you. If you did something or someone wrong, acknowledge it, apologize, and make amends. If someone makes an apology to you, accept it and move on. Vote with your feet and your wallet. We can also choose NOT to support people who breed negativity with their drama and abuse. Support the talent who do walk the positive path. There are other options out there, trust me. Make bellydance a bully-free zone.

DVD Update!

2011-04-04T08:42:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!

I have terrific news! This past weekend, we broke $4K for the "Bellydance Artistry" DVD project! This means all of our pre-production costs (videography, editing, music, licensing, etc) have been covered, and will take place on schedule. Thank you so much to everyone who has helped supported this project - in all forms!

We still have a little ways to go to cover the DVD manufacturing (our last major expense), so I will keep the donation buttons up until April 15th. So if you haven't donated yet, but would like to - plus receive special rewards, including limited edition artwork, signed DVDs, kudos on the actual DVD, and more, please head over to http://www.darklydramatic.com/artistry.html

Thank you again so much!!

like dislikes like

2011-04-01T07:04:00.000-07:00

When I was in 4th grade, a new girl named Julie joined my class. She was smart. I was smart. She drew very well. I drew very well. She loved horses. I loved horses. So naturally, we hated each other, and spent most of the school year exchanging negativity. I don't remember what happened, but some how by the last month or so of school, we were best friends. It was awesome. Sadly, she transferred to another school, and that was the end of it.

Looking back as an adult, it seems really rather silly doesn't it? Logically, here was someone who was a perfect companion, shared a lot of interests and talents, and yet, we repelled each other simply because we each felt threatened by our similarities. It took us getting being really horrible to each other in order for us to come to our senses and realize we were both better off as friends rather than enemies. We missed out on so much.

But the reality is, it still happens well beyond the 4th grade, and is actually quite prevalent in the dance community, probably because it's a really unfortunate competitive side effect amongst women in a given group. Not to say guys don't do it too, but they seem to be able to cut through the crap quicker on this one. I've seen it in all styles - Egyptian, Turkish, Tribal, Gothic, Steampunk, Folkloric, etc - "Oh, so apparently so-and-so does X, well we'll just see about that." Someone comes into your niche, and immediately the claws come out. There's rarely even a chance given, they're already have marks against them before you've ever seen them dance. There's an attitude of "this is MY area, MY specialty, MY love, how DARE SHE!"

We forget that we're already marginal, and instead of considering building shared strength through solidarity, we do in our microcosm what the macrocosm does to us. I think we were really lucky in the early days of Gothic Bellydance, because the earliest pioneers did not fall victim to this common scenario - we were so thankful to share our weirdness with others, the "like dislikes like" factor did not kick in right away - we shared our stories and helped each other, which in turned helped others. As the movement grew, well, it was only a matter of time for this behavior to show up. I'm seeing it show up now in other fusions and subcultures too, and it makes me sad. "Oh look, there's another intelligent woman who shares my interests, instead of giving her consideration and reach out to her, I think I'll hate her instead."

How much time do we have to waste with negativity before we realize we gain so much more by opening our minds and sharing our strengths - not only as a group, but personally as well? No one is going to take away your individuality. No one is going to steal your thunder. By having like-minded people to bounce our ideas off of, share our problems and successes, support causes and events, we become even stronger as individuals and really let our talents flourish and grow. It truly helps us build a solid community.

So the next time someone new pops up on your radar, try extending your hand instead of your claws, you may be surprised where it takes you. No foolin'.

DVD News! Extra Perks before the 1st....(oh shiny!)

2011-03-29T18:37:00.000-07:00

A break from my normal pontification for some shameless promotion and great news - the fundraiser for my DVD project is going awesomely! We're at 70% of our goal, and on schedule for filming and music! We will continue collecting funds until we have reached our goal BUT if you donate by April 1st, you will be entered into a drawing for 3 gift certificates towards Owl*Key*Me Arts - that is, any of my ready-made OR custom designs, or weekly classes, private lessons, etc - $50, $100, and $200. DVD info and donation buttons at http://darklydramatic.com/artistry.html

Why do we dance?

2011-03-28T08:28:00.000-07:00

I'm currently basking in the afterglow of a wonderful weekend where I performed to the live music of Nathaniel Johnstone and his band (who were "The Able Seamen" on Friday night, and "the Goddamn Industrial Revolution" on Saturday night - the name of the band changes every performance more or less, which is pretty freaking hilarious and awesome.) I've performed with Nathaniel one-on-one twice before (Gothla US 2010 and Spring Caravan 2010), so when he said he and the whole band were coming to New Hampshire for Steampunk Industrial Revolution and would I like to dance with them, it was a no-brainer. He asked me how many songs did I think I could dance to, and I said, well, we'll see how it goes. Both nights I ended up dancing to the whole set (40-50 mins each) on top of my recorded performances. My average recorded performance set is between 6-8 minutes, and I had had a really rough long week at work and little sleep, but I could not NOT dance to the live music. I love Nathaniel's music, and being able to feel it live caused my spirit to overtake my body and just kept it going. The performing wasn't about anything except being there in the moment and being the music.

Which got me thinking about what dance means for me, and how my understanding of it has changed over the years. I often pose the question of "why do you dance?" to my students, because I want them to think about what they're bringing to the stage, to give it more meaning than playing dress up or getting a performance high - to consider what the dance means to them. But it's even deeper than that.

Human beings have been drawn to dance since the beginning of time (or more specifically, when time met some form of percussion - whether our heart beating or objects colliding in audio space repeatedly) - and we have done everything to Dance - develop it, codify it, break it down, ornament it, give it purpose, meaning, plot, raise it to a fine art, ban it, break it out, and repeat. We have created classes, schools, and communities with it. But really, all of this is complicated architecture built upon the concept or idea of dance. Temples, churches, homes, warehouses, institutions, tabernacles housing the essence of dance - but these things are not DANCE itself. Dance is the voice of the soul, expressed in movement, unleashed through the medium of music. Through dance, we celebrate, we grieve, we explore, we offer, we collect, we communicate, we exist.

There have been times when it felt that the architecture housing the dance - and those also living with in it have seemed to close down on me, crowded me in or left me feeling exposed and pushed out. It made me question why I dance at all. I didn't need those issues, and I could just express myself in other ways, through my visual art and my writing, right? Dance seemed tainted by those experiences. But I kept on dancing. And it made me realize, dancing is MY choice, and no one else carries that responsibility for whether or not I dance, only ME. Blaming the architecture or the other inhabitants is only an excuse for what essentially is an exercise in masochism. If your spirit calls you to dance, then you DO it. If you see dance as a vehicle for popularity, fame, fortune, dating, or anything else superficial, it will never satisfy you. Actually, this is true for any art - you must be driven to do it, it needs to be something you cannot live without doing. That no matter what difficulties and barriers you face, you find ways to get past them to keep doing it.

The answer is simple, we dance because we must.

Photo by Karen Lippincott

Be More In the Moment By Being Prepared

2011-03-15T07:22:00.000-07:00

That title sounds self-contradictory doesn't it? Being "in the moment" is often considered to be an impulsive, suddenly-inspired happening, while "being prepared" is about taking time to painstakingly put something together. But they actually do go hand-in-hand.

When I first started dancing, it seemed imperative to have a new set and a new costume to go with it for nearly every performance. I had a lot of ideas, and in my mind, a lot of people to impress. I probably created 2-3 times as many sets in a single year back then, then I have in the last 3 years put together. It's not that I have gotten lazy or less industrious in my dance pursuits, but rather I've had a different frame of mind and approach to performing. This is what I've learned:

-No matter how much I practice a piece and knew the music, there's something else in play when I actually perform it for an audience, and it really doesn't come alive until that moment, for better or for worse. I used to premiere new pieces at really big events, and they never went according to plan, leaving me disappointed and upset. I noticed it was the 2nd or 3rd time the piece was performed that things seemed to come together, and I realized the issue wasn't so much the pressure of the big event, it was not having that first-time out to really figure things out in a comfortable setting. So I changed my game-plan and present pieces at small events before it gets to a "big stage" whenever possible.

-There's a balance between performing a piece too many times, and just enough. Even with a small area (the Bay Area or New England), not everyone makes it out to the same event - and even with youtube, seeing a performance live is such a different experience than seeing it videotaped. I've also had people say, they love being able to see multiple performances of the same piece, because there's always something new for them to discover about it, something they didn't notice or realize the first time. As long as you're not doing the same piece in the same costume at every single event, people will rarely get bored with it.

-Reducing the amount of different pieces you're performing actively makes for better performances. The more familiar you get with a piece, the more comfortable you are, the more angles you can work it. The more you can relax and be "in the moment."

-Having 2-3 pieces that you are comfortable with means you can reliably pull out that set and that costume at a moment's notice, and "be prepared" to perform it, versus going through the stress of trying to find a new song, new costume, rehearse a new dance.

So don't fall into the trap of "everything must be new" - and don't be afraid to take time to get to know your pieces better.

Ted & Ruth

2011-03-08T09:58:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I flew to St. Louis to teach and perform in Angels & Absinthe hosted by Exotic Rhythms Bellydance. One of the added perks about traveling to teach is that it gives me an opportunity to read. I've always been addicted to reading, but I rarely have time to read nowadays. So a plane ride often gives me focused time to just get absorbed in a book and enjoy - and I often finish a few books in a single trip.

This trip, I selected Ted Shawn's "One Thousand And One Night Stands", which I had come across a little while ago at a used book store. I have a fair-size assortment of books on Ruth St. Denis, Shawn's partner and wife (and a huge long-time personal inspiration to me), but this was the first book I came across on him, by him. I had totally forgotten I bought it, so I grabbed it when I spotted it, and selected some fiction as well, in case I needed a change of pace. I didn't, I read half on my way out, and completed it shortly before I landed back in Providence. It was a very enjoyable and fascinating read on Shawn's life and views, while also documenting the birth of American dance in the early 20th century.

It never ceases to amaze me how I seem to pick up books just when they're extremely relevant to what's going on in my own life. From stories about locations where the Denishawn company toured (several of which students in my workshops had traveled from), to Ted's journey through Algeria and Tunisia in search of the Ouled Nail dancers, and thoughts on spirituality reflected in dance, teaching, performing, and dealing with critics and society - it all resonated throughout my trip. It lit something within my heart and mind as I headed into the weekend.

Ruth and Ted were really America's first fusion artists/traveling dance company, and they traveled all over the world to study folkloric, regional, spiritual dances and incorporate them into their own inspired dances. They experienced much success, but also ran into more than their fair share of setbacks, difficulties, and controversy. Bellydancers often complain about how hard we have it with people's misconceptions - that really is nothing compared to what these pioneers went through. Actually, all American dancers have a lot to be thankful for, courtesy of Ruth & Ted's hard work.

Take This Cog And....

2011-03-01T10:54:00.000-08:00

Ahem.

I'm not inclined to participate in the repetitive flagellation of deceased equines. Even steam-powered ones. So with that in mind, if you'd like to read some really well-researched and articulate articles discussing the topic of Steampunk Bellydance in sufficient depth, I offer you these two articles:

#21 Shimmies and Sprockets: Analyzing the Use of Belly Dance in Steampunk

and

OF EMPERORS, AIR SHIPS AND TIC TOC

This concludes your Tempest PSA of the day. Have a beautiful day!

Brain, Heart, Liver - where is your dance from?

2011-02-26T13:40:00.000-08:00

I was originally going to title this one "Technician vs Artist", but that really doesn't explain what I want to discuss here. But I'm getting way ahead of myself...

Ever wonder why dancers from "over there" often grab or gesture to their lower right side during a song about love? It's because of a cultural belief/idea that if you truly love someone and you want them to know you mean it, you show that you love them from your liver - not your heart. The heart is considered a fickle being, not worthy of true, long-lasting love, only lust and quick passion.

Being a weird person in my own culture/existence, I am rather enthralled by this concept; that someone long ago gave it this much thought and made this symbolic connection, associating certain behaviors and thought patterns with very specific organs. Then it became ingrained into the society. And that those associations are much different then standard Western thoughts. Anyway, I got to thinking not only about the gesture in dance as a symbolic movement, but how it also can signify where we actually dance FROM.

I think there are some people who dance solely from the brain. Now, I'm all for use of the brain, especially right-brain creative thinking, but the left hemisphere should get some credit in there too from time to time. Really, a good dancer makes fair use of both. But when the left brain overshadows the right, a dancer tends to get bogged down in the details: drilling endlessly in search of what they perceive as physical perfection, analyzing every smallest moment in the music, choreographing everything down to the second. Technical perfection is something to be appreciated (particularly in engineering), but it doesn't automatically make for an amazing performance that captures your imagination. Frankly, if I'm watching someone and my thoughts go to "wow, this is really technically very precise," that says to me it's hitting my brain, but not my imagination. Often, it feels very clinical, cold, ego-based, and/or lacking in something else less tangible.

Then there are the dancers who dance solely from the heart. They are all about the momentum, the passion, the excitement - emotion just pours off of them! But that intense outpouring often gets overshadowed by a lack of skill, craftsmanship, and/or focus. It often doesn't seem consistent and sustaining, leveled and focused. It makes me say, "the idea is there, but not exactly the right language to express it coherently." The heart dancers have that something else the brain dancers are missing, and vice versa.

And then, there are the dancers who dance from their livers. If we take that Arabic concept of true love coming from the liver, and then consider what true love means: devotion, dedication, faith, spirit, sustained passion, and the desire to work hard to make that love successful. Really, it's like the best parts of the heart and the brain meet - and instead being in your thyroid (cause that would be the middle ground technically, and let's face it, those little guys go haywire very easily), it rests in this massive organ in the middle of our bodies: the liver, right between the two areas where we give and take energy from. The liver dancers capture both the technical complexity and the emotional rawness that the best performances embody. At no point in their performances are you breaking it down into the details and analyzing it - rather, you experience it as a whole and become immersed in it.

So what I strive to do as a dancer, is not to dance from my brain, or from my heart, but my liver. I just hope it doesn't mind the occasional glass of wine.

Artwork from the "Griffin & Sabine" series by Nick Bantock

And now for the big news...

2011-02-21T16:35:00.000-08:00

Here and there, I have been asking folks about feedback on what they wanted to see next from me, and after considering it all, I am very excited to announce that I am working on my next instructional/performance DVD "Bellydance Artistry". I am self-producing this project - so to help make it happen on schedule, I am doing some very special fund-raising to manifest this as quickly as possible! Find out all about what will be on the DVD, and what amazing things you can get as rewards for donating to the project!

Assuming Makes...

2011-02-21T10:27:00.000-08:00

When I think about the drama that occurs in the dance community (or probably any kind of niche community), at the root of most of it is failed communication: either miss-communication, lack of communication, or unfortunate gatherings of information that construe something other than the actual. And if the people involved had just gotten the right information, actually asked some questions, clarified the details, or said something about a situation before it got out of hand, a lot of stress on a multitude of levels could have been avoided.

You know that quirky little phrase, "When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me"? It's true. How does one make an ass out of both parties? Well, obviously the person doing the assuming is failing to get the correct information, and is often making poor choices that reflect that failing. And in that process, they are creating a untrue persona about the person they are making the assumption about, and often spreading it, so other people will believe that assumption. And when the truth is revealed (because it generally does work it's way out of the damage), there is much embarrassment to go around.

Now you could say, this is just going to happen when you get groups of women together, or creative/dramatic/theatrical people together - and there's nothing you can do about it - that's just an excuse, it happens whenever you have humans interacting. And if we can learn to cook food and use the toilet (and FLUSH it right?), then we can learn to interact more respectfully. Yes? Yes.

Let's consider some things we can also do to help prevent assume-based drama:

Make Your Own Informed Decisions

It's easy to listen to gossip and the word on the street, it takes more effort to do some research, and even a touch of bravery to go against the grain and be objective until you can form your own opinion firsthand. I've had people tell me that so-and-so is a mental nut-job, only to discover that the opposite is true - and vice versa. And in some situations where I was warned, I did find some truth in it, but at least also exercised caution and usually uncovered more than what the grapevine said. Everyone has their own personality quirks, preferences, and flow - what works for you, may not work for someone else. You could miss out on someone great and wonderful, just because that person didn't gel with your teacher or your friend. Also, people do change over time. It's best to leave the final judgment in your own hands, eyes, ears, brain, and be fair and objective until your own experience has happened.

Random Assorted Facts Do Not Make a Truth

"The two times I saw Barbetty dance, she only wore blue and did cabaret. Therefore she hates the color red and tribal." Sound silly? Of course it is, but all the time I hear dancers stringing together random facts and coming to unfair conclusions that are equally as silly. It happens ALL THE TIME. Think before you come to an assumed conclusion, and then spread it around as the Truth. If you're unsure about something that is upsetting to you, take the time to first breathe, then PRIVATELY contact the person directly and get their side of the story.

Speak Up Before It Rots (or Everyone Knows But No One Does Anything About It)

In considering this blog topic, I have thought back on several situations where I didn't say something, and I should have. One example is several years ago where another dancer had taken a bunch of my workshop descriptions, changed around the adjectives, and posted them as her own offerings on her website. It was pretty obvious if you put them next to each other, not just a coincidence. I flipped out, I raged, I vented to my friends, but I didn't address the person who did it. Why? I would guess because I don't like confrontation via email and would have rather discussed it in person. But by the time I finally saw her in person, I racked up such a long list of aggressions against her (undercutting a friend, inappropriate behavior, bad/unsafe instruction), that I just couldn't approach her without bristling with hostility. She was a non-entity to me. But looking back, maybe if I had said something (after I cooled down), I could have helped her out, directed her subsequent behavior within more professional constraints, and perhaps, the dance in general would have been better for it. Or she could have told me to f'off. Either way, I could have handled it better by addressing it, and could have prevented a lot of stress for myself. So I now have a commitment to myself that I will speak up, as calmly as possible, and try to address problems before they get out of hand.

Consider this when dealing with students or inexperienced dancers who wander out of the standard protocol, or anyone actually. You don't have to scold them like children, but you can address them like adults, and point out what may have gone wrong and how to fix it in the future. Some people don't realize they're doing something wrong (and think they're doing it right), others think they can just get away with it and no one will call them on it. Yes, some people are going to only pay lip service or be defensive, but I guarantee that most sane people really do hear it on a deeper level, and it will help in the long run.

And sooner is better than later. Hearing "you ran over my toe in 1996 and didn't say sorry" doesn't do much good right now.

An Apology Is An Apology

"She said she was sorry, but I don't buy it." Ever made a sincere apology to someone, and find out 5 years later they're still pissy about it, and spreading rumors? I grew up in a Judeo-Christian household, went to Parochial school for 10 years, so I've heard all there is to hear about the concepts of sin and forgiveness. For the last half of my life, I have followed a different spiritual path that focuses on intention and personal responsibility. And I've come to the following conclusion: if someone says they're sorry, then it's your job to accept that, forgive them and move on. It does NOT mean you have to be best buddies with them again, or even deal with them again in any sort of way, nor does it make it OK now what they did - but forgiveness is not just about them, it's about YOU too. Yes, there's the part where someone does something bad to you, and you're mad at them for it, but there's also a part of you that is angry at yourself for letting them do it you. By holding on to that anger for them, you're also holding on to that anger for yourself - therefore you're not healing, you're not growing, you're not getting the F over it. Be responsible, accept it, let go, and move on. Learn and live.

Snark is Stress Relief, But You Gotta Do It Right

I'm not going to play saint here and pretend I'm godlike, pure, and wholesome always (just sometimes). I believe snark is a healthy thing in the right setting, and I don't have an issue with sharing my opinion as tactfully as possible when asked. I'm a Gemini - there is pretty much a running commentary going on in my head at all times. The important thing is making smart choices about when and where to make that commentary vocal. The privacy of your own home, car, private journal are generally good spots to relieve stress. In class, at shows, in the dressing room, in a public bathroom, on youtube, in public forums are generally NOT good places.

Remember, nobody's perfect, we all do and say stupid things at times, that we usually later regret. But if we keep these things in mind, we really can make things better for ourselves and others - and spend more time dancing!

Museum Quality!

2011-02-18T13:29:00.000-08:00

Well, I suppose I am on a shameless promo roll (cause there's more to come, there's always more..), but if I didn't do it, people would say "but I didn't knooowwww..."

So I'm very pleased to announce that you can now register for the first ever Museum Quality: Art School for Bellydancers Intensive which will be held July 29th-31st, 2011 in Indianapolis, IN! Details and online registration can be found here: http://www.celestebellydance.com/museumquality.html

If you're ready and looking to add quality artistry to your dance, are seeking to find your own personal style, gain new perspective on creativity and dance, or want to know how to fully develop each performance to the best you can deliver, then Museum Quality will be a profound and defining experience for you. Registration is limited to only 15 participants and they're going fast!

Tapestry Dance Retreat!

2011-02-12T08:47:00.000-08:00

And now, some shameless promo :)

I've been working on Tapestry for nearly a year - I wanted to produce an event that happened in my own local community that fostered a multitude of things: dance identity, root education in history, music, dance, and practice, personal spirituality - all in a relatively intimate environment with my favorite dance mentors and friends. Somehow, it all came together with all of these people, in the right location, and we are all very very excited about it! Tapestry Dance Retreat will take place September 29th-October 2nd, 2011, in Providence, RI - with Amel Tafsout, Artemis Mourat, Alessandra Belloni, Lee Ali, Anaar, and Tempest. And now registration is officially open! http://www.tapestry-dance.com

Talking Your Dance

2011-02-08T09:41:00.000-08:00

I've heard people say you can't teach stage presence (or learn it). I'm inclined to disagree. Not only because I teach it, and have seen and heard about the successful results firsthand on hundreds of students, but I believe it to be something different than an "it" factor*. Stage presence, in my opinion, is about being able to not only own the stage, but to be able to also successfully engage your audience and hold their attention. Essentially it is a technique, a skill that needs to be developed and practiced.

I believe that learning and performing dance is like learning and speaking a language. The individual movements are the words, the posture and attitude the grammar and punctuation, and the music dictates how the sentences are put together and form paragraphs. You put it all together with something to say, and you have dance. Some folks get hung up on just doing the moves, so their dance becomes a string all nouns or verbs. Others are just able to do the expression, so it's like screaming but without any real content to it. Others haven't heard the music fully, so it's like a poor translation. No one starts out speaking the dance fluently, but with focus, it becomes clearer and stronger, more comfortable - going from basic complete sentences to vivid poetry. And with fusion, you're mixing languages, so you have to be mindful of how they come together - some words can be appropriated smoothly, and others lose meaning.

When it comes to putting all of this on stage, you're essentially having a conversation with the audience - and the best performances are not one-sided, but dynamically engage the audience. As we all know, good conversation is not one-sided, it involves both speaking and listening, and there must be a desire to share something interesting. It's this ability to speak clearly to your audience, and acknowledge them, that makes for great stage presence. If you're just up there to talk to yourself, then you're missing the point.

So, once again (because I say this in nearly every workshop), I ask you, what are you saying with your dance? What do you want to say?

*(The "it" factor being the phenomenon where someone just seems to have everything together, no matter what they do - it's a combination of elements that just seem to make a magic mix of goodness seemingly without effort... )

Excellence, Experimenting, Excrement.

2011-02-03T09:39:00.000-08:00

Woohoo! Things that begin with "ex!"

Let's face it, besides regular bellydance done poorly/lewdly/wrongly (and usually in insufficient costuming, but not always), the other bane of bellydance existence is badly done "fusion." Of course, "badly done" is subject to opinion and personal interpretation, but I'd like to look into the most common causes of these performances and how they can be addressed, so here they are in no particular order:

1. Desire to Perform Overrides Sense
What it is: This is the dancer who will perform anywhere at the drop of hat, regardless of whether it fits their style, level, genre.
How to fix it: Ask yourself, is this an event that you really should be performing at? What do you get out of performing at it? If it's a lack of performance opportunities in your area, consider how you can help create more by hosting a hafla, restaurant night, party, etc. Don't crash someone else's event if you're not a good fit for it, because it will reflect badly on you.

2. Half-Arse Syndrome
What it is: Usually a part-two of the above - ok, so you're performing at something that's not up your alley and perhaps you are mildly aware of it, but instead of making a real commitment to try and fit in with the theme, you make a half-hearted, half-arsed effort to make it right. Doing ATS moves in a bedlah doesn't make for oriental, nor does donning tassels and doing Hakim make for Tribal, nor does a visit to the Spirit Halloween store make it Goth.
How to fix it: Ok, so you've committed to doing something that's not really your thing, and let's say you can't gracefully bow out of it. Take the time to make some serious effort, do real research on the costuming, music, movements, and philosophy - don't just go on what you THINK it is.

3. Delusion
What it is: This is a rare one, thankfully. Usually it involves some sort of actual mental unbalance and warped sense of reality. Basically this is someone who gets up on stage and takes the dance somewhere it shouldn't go, poorly executed, and thinks everyone is a hater because they don't get their "art." When you push boundaries, it's not uncommon for to get a negative response, but this isn't that time. This person doesn't see a need for more education, nor will they listen to any advice because they staunchly believe they can do no wrong.
How to fix it: Seek professional help, both in the studio and in the head.

4. Ignorance is Bliss (and then Bruising)
What it is: This is really the most common oops, and I think nearly every dancer has a moment of this (I can count several of my own). The dancer sincerely wants to make a good effort in their presentation - they're SO enthusiastic about the dance, but they haven't had enough education or experience to pull it off well - and basically, taking it to the stage way too early.
How to fix it: Unlike the Delusional Dancer, this dancer figures out there's a problem fairly quickly, or if not right away, at least in retrospect, as they continue their education and gain more experience. When the dancer realizes the problem, this is where the bruising comes in, but it will heal and make for better performances in the future.

5.Working It Before You've Worked It:
What it is: This is what happens when the dancer wants to experiment, but really hasn't taken it far enough yet to present it in stage format. It needs a lot more work in the studio. This dancer tends to be ahead of the game compared to Ignorance Is Bliss, because they tend to consider themselves more developed and educated, but are in that dangerous zone where they're afraid to ask for help because it may make them look bad. .
How to fix it: Videotape your work and get critical. If you're unsure or can't be objective, ask some trusted/respected friends to look at it, and ask them what they think is going on, before you tell them what you were trying to accomplish. Sometimes things can seem totally right in our own heads, but it doesn't translate it to anyone else that way when you get on stage. Don't be afraid to ask for feedback or help. The best dancers keep growing and aren't afraid to be humble in order to keep getting better. If anyone thinks lesser of you for it, they can kiss their own arse.

In Conclusion:
I don't mean to frighten anyone away from performing fusion by bringing this up, but I would like folks to exercise their brains as much as their hips. And by exercising your brain and experimenting with consideration, you can confidently move from giving an excremental performance to an excellent one!

St. Louis, MO in March!

2011-01-29T09:10:00.000-08:00

Did you know that I'll be teaching and performing in St. Louis, MO - March 4th-6th at Angels and Absinthe? No? Yes? Early-bird registration is this weekend, and other important deadlines coming up! Don't miss it!

http://angelsabsinthe2011.wordpress.com/

Performer's Top 5 Elements for an Excellent Performance At Any Stage

2011-01-17T13:06:00.000-08:00

5. Test-Drive. Always practice-run your costume and double-check pins and closures. Watch out for hair-catching elements and other potential mishap areas.

4. Blinded By the Light - stay in the lights, where the audience can see you, your costume, your moves, etc.

3. Breathe. Before you go out and during - get the oxygen flowing!

2. Engage. LOOK at your audience, not the ceiling, not the floor, not unfocused somewhere else.

1. HAVE FUN. As in, look and feel like you are enjoying what you're doing. I'm not talking about being happy-go-lucky, plastered smile, I'm talking, if you want to perform, then LOOK it. Cause otherwise, why are you up there?

It's dark in the desert (part 4)

2011-01-11T09:47:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

So this (possibly) last part of this series, actually started off as the seed for it all, but apparently I had to clear some room before I could get to this point. And I'm not even sure if I can express in words what I feel in my heart, see in my head, and breathe in my spirit - really, there's a reason why I'm a visual artist and performer - because if I could explain it all plainly, I wouldn't have to paint it or dance it.

But I will try.

When I look back at the past year, especially the last 6 months, there were a lot of factors all pushing me in the same direction with my dance: a folkloric dance experience of "the other." What do I mean by "the other"? "The other" is a description of unseen forces at work, in co-existence with the visual, waking world, that while not easily proven, are readily believed by many cultures (if not all). Deities, ghosts, spirits, demons, angels, djinn - these are all examples generally unseen entities. Arab culture especially has a rich background involving "the other", especially djinn (not-human spirits) and ancestral spirits. Even the concepts surrounding both the "evil eye" and the hamsah or Hand of Fatima (prevalent throughout Africa, the Middle and Near East, and the Mediterranean), involve "the other." And while I consider myself to be a rather rational and skeptically-minded person, I am very familiar with the realm of "the other", dating back to my earliest memories and experiences.

I think the closer that you actually live with nature (and rely on it), the more likely you are going to be open to "the other." This is especially evident in tribal/nomadic groups, whose way of living is so closely linked with the seasons, the lay of the land, and the weather. It's not a matter of categorizing them as "primitive". It's the reality of removing the layers of modern comfort, the cushions of technology, the atmospheric buzz of media - that you are open to listening to your world without distractions, and you can feel it's pulse. I'm not being romantic here either. This pulse involves floods, famine, drought, the trials of life and death. "The other" helps to provide meaning, exploration, reasoning for what happens, as well as a sense of how to deal with it - both personally and communally. Just one way that many cultures choose to deal with these forces is through dance - ritual dances, trance dances, celebratory dances. Through dance, the body and spirit unite to express what words alone cannot.

And all of these things came to mind when talking with a dear friend of mind about her recent experiences in Morocco (and I'll out her if she lets me, but otherwise I'll keep her identity to myself), and she described her trance experience in the desert. As she talked, in my mind's eye, I could see the night sky open endlessly above me, the night-cool feeling of the sand at my feet, the sound of the music, and the electricity in the air, thick with spirits. It was like I was there (and one day I hope to be there). That is an experience with the dark, with "the other", where our sense of physical and metaphysical becomes blur, and we're moved beyond the mundane. We feel the pulse, we ARE the pulse.

This train of thought is what inspired my "Hecate" piece, as well as "Dance of the Djinn".

So, when I titled this series "It's dark in the desert" - this is all what I had in mind - and more.

It's dark in the desert....(part 3)

2010-12-31T08:09:00.000-08:00

Ok, so where was I? Oh yes, happy, happy, joy, joy!

Technically this part of the series is about two similar-sounding complaints with a world of difference between them:

"One cannot express "dark" things through this dance" and "My dance is about joy, it's impossible to bring something "dark" to it."

To quickly address the first issue: Well, if the dancer is supposed to be the music made manifest - i.e., it's our job to be the music, and if the music expresses "dark" sentiments, one could follow the line of logic and say therefore, the dance itself would be "dark." No? Yes? Of course.

The thing is, what the hell is "dark" anyway? If you get obsessed about dividing everything into "light" and "dark", you miss the whole picture. Our experience here on this planet is never simply one or the other, but a collection of mixed emotions and events. To designate "dark" as all things negative, and "light" as all things positive is far too simplistic. Not everything "dark" is about anger, angst, sadness, and pain. (And if you haven't noticed, I'm placing "dark" in quotes, because in the way it is referenced in our examples, it has been used to designate "the realm of the other", aka, the marginal. The intentional segregation of something that is not of the world or familiarity of the speaker. Darkism if you will. Woohoo! Congrats! We have a whole new 'ism!) Essentially, what the dark really represents everything foreign to us, mysterious, not easily understood or addressed, things that are arcane, secreted, unclear, and not easily dealt with.

And with that, we'll move on to the second complaint. Look, I want to make it very clear, I'm not dissing anyone who wants to express only joy and happiness in their dance. More power to you! Because dance is about expression, and as the performer, you can choose to express whatever you wish. For some, the dance is their only means of escape for daily life, a place of wonderful fantasy and positive creation - somewhere to get away from a stressful relationship or family situation, a tough job, to forget about pain and illness, a break from mundane troubles. But if you also look at dance as a way not only to express, but to explore and to heal, to address issues and conquer them, then considering the whole spectrum of emotions and the possibilities they can bring, can be an amazing experience. It's not easy, and frankly it can be downright scary unlocking those feelings and experiences on stage (performing can be already scary enough right), and I can definitely understand not wanting to go there. It's not for everyone. Or maybe it's just not for you right now in your life. But that doesn't mean no else can do it either. And it can be very very beautiful and powerful if you give it the chance.

On the flip side of this, there's also a danger in exploring deeper emotions on stage that you haven't had a real connection to, or are afraid to make that connection. Not so much a personal danger, as a problem in being sincere on stage - it falls flat. Anger or angsty dance for the sake of being "dark and spooky", rarely translates well, and often comes across as taking yourself way too seriously. It dangers on audience abuse. Please don't abuse your audience. Similarly, not everything has to be performed. Some things are best explored in the studio or living room, and not brought to the stage. Dance can most certainly be therapy, but would you really want to make all your sessions with your psychiatrist public? If you're unsure, ask a friend, your teacher, your partner.

In the end, I believe that in order to be good dancers, we need to be able to express a wide range of emotions, a breadth of experiences - in order to truly be the music and share that with the audience. And sometimes you'll be asked to do it just within a single song. Don't be afraid of the dark. Don't be afraid of the light. Don't be afraid to dance.

And....

2010-12-29T11:02:00.000-08:00

there's a mini-interview with me over at The Belly Whisperer from her "Why Should I Care?" series! Enjoy! Thanks RetroKali!

It's dark in the desert (part 2)

2010-12-29T09:06:00.000-08:00

I've heard the complete spectrum of opinions on Gothic Bellydance - from epic poems of love, passion, and personal transformation to editorial passages about how it is an abomination that will lead to the downfall of not only dance, but humanity as a whole. (I kid you not.)

Somewhere in the middle, the statement arises that "Goth" has nothing to do with Middle Eastern culture/dance - usually with one of the following two angles: that Gothic culture is Western/alien in concept to the Eastern culture, and that bellydance is all about happiness/joy.

Both of these views not only discredit and gloss over Arabic culture, but the very action and art of dance itself - not to mention, show a shallow understanding of what being Goth is about. And I'll tell you why.

In the past, as a tongue-in-cheek response to that sort of attitude, I have made the observation that you really can't get much more "Goth" than the Ancient Egyptians - can you really think of anyone more fascinated with death and obsessed the afterlife more than them? (Have I mentioned that I was enthralled by Ancient Egypt from about age 7 onward? So much so I used to be able to read and write hieroglyphics. My husband and I have a 4 foot tall by 10 foot long papyrus painting of the weighing of the heart scene from the Book of the Dead....in our dining room.)

But being cheeky aside, that thought sequence came back to me when I recently attended the Arab Dance Seminar in NYC. This particular session was about the depth of the Arabic language, especially concerning understanding the meaning of the lyrics in the context of the culture. And as we talked about the poetry of the lyrics, the culture from which they were from, who wrote them, who sung them, and how they are expressed with the music, I couldn't help but think "how Goth!" From the frustration of being marginalized in a culture unlike (or that is) your own and the pain/longing of the diaspora condition, to beautiful pain of unrequited/unattainable/secret love. Of course, we were just sampling a few songs from multiple Arab cultures, but you can't argue that these are happy/light topics, even though some of them sound downright peppy when you hear the music. And if you study about the people who wrote the lyrics, you will find that most of them were moody, marginalized artists who led difficult lives.

Which brings to mind a passage from Chaim Potok's "Asher Lev" books, where there's a dialogue between two artists about making truly great art (summarized), "Can you think of any great artist who was truly happy?" "Well, Rubens was happy." "And he painted happy paintings. Anyone else besides Rubens?" "Nope." "Because most great art is made through pain and suffering." The Asher Lev books are about the difficulty of being an artist in orthodox Jewish culture. That it is not considered an acceptable or respectable occupation. And while I'm sure some people will get huffy about me making the comparison, there is a similar mentality found in Arabic culture (which is NOT surprising considering the similar backgrounds and thousands of years of co-existence, so get over it). Any dancer who has done even a little bit of research will know that dancers, musicians, singers - while enjoyed by most of the community, they are still often looked down upon. They are marginalized.

So you may be saying OK, but what does that have to do with Goths? Well if you unburden yourself of the wrist-slashing, devil-worshippin', pastey white and dyed black stereotype for a few moments (or preferably forever), really what is at the heart of the Gothic culture is a love of the arts, the ability to see beauty in the tragic and the macabre, and a sense of being marginalized for not fitting within society's norms. And you may also be surprised to find that although the movement may have started in "the West" the people who make up the Gothic subculture are not from one place or race, but they are found throughout the world, on every continent. It is a microcosm that occurs within many macrocosms. What I am saying is that there is a mutual understanding here of the human condition from a dramatic perspective.

Further proof of this understanding is that there are numerous Gothic musicians/bands who not only incorporate Arabic instruments, maqams, vocals - but are Arabic/Middle Eastern themselves. If the roots behind these fusions were so discordant, it would not have been possible to successfully weave them together - as they have been, for decades. And with the music, comes the dancing.

Next up, happy happy joy joy and dance...

It's dark in the desert....(part 1?)

2010-12-28T18:34:00.000-08:00

This is probably going to be an ongoing series and exploration....

I have a confession to make. I am absolutely obsessed with North African dance and music. I cannot get enough of it. When I'm doing it, I feel like YES! THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT! (And while I had been introduced to bits and pieces of it over the years from many different instructors, it was Amel who really helped me come to this realization, but that will be for another post...)

But inquiring minds ask, what does that have to do with Gothic or Dark Bellydance? I think the inquiring are often so busy looking at the labels and the surface conditions that they rarely look below the surface and the stereotypes. I don't work from the outside in, I work from the inside out. In all things. Nor am I one to play the who's the darkest, ookiest, spookiest biatch on the block, because I just don't own that much make-up (nor do I give a rat's patootie). ;)

But sometimes I forget that I'm weird - as in, I'm a bit odd, especially in how I think. Recent case in point: I was selling my wares at the alumni holiday sale for RISD (Rhode Island School of Design), and we all know that art students are pretty weird/out there kind of people. (And if you don't know this, you should.) And I'm looking at my fellow alums' work, and I'm gauging customers' reactions, and I sort of slipped out of my head for a moment to see how other people view what was in my booth.

In between an "upcycle" clothing booth and raku pottery is a rack of corseted items, a pile of darkly-colored lush ruffle things, dramatic looking hooded scarves on 20's looking heads, an array of jewelry featuring animal skulls and imagery, and flowers with eyeballs in them. And owls. Folks, this is some seriously weird shit going on. MY seriously weird shit. In a room full of artsy crazy people, I was still pretty far out there. But I'm so immersed in what I consider normal for me, I never even think about "pushing buttons", "shock factor", or "edgey" - cause weird IS my mundane. It's THAT intrinsic for me.

So, what does that say? That pretty much everything I do, comes through my own weird filter. Whether that makes it "dark", "Gothic" or any other adjective, isn't really the point. The point is, it comes sincerely from my heart and soul. As it should!

So, there's the first (part 1) factor to consider. What's going on inside the individual. Part 2, I'd like to talk about culture and dark tendencies.

My Spiral Journey

2010-12-26T17:37:00.000-08:00

Contrary to quasi-popular belief, there is usually a method to my madness. And my madness being how I chase/am chased by the muses.

Being the end of the year, I was thinking back about where this past year has brought me, and that progressed to much further back, well over a decade, and then something clicked...

I have long-considered dance a journey. But up until last night, I never gave much thought to the shape of that path - it was clearly not a linear line of progression, but rather more circular. To be exact, a spiral.

Let me explain. There is the short and sweet version of how Tempest became a bellydancer. If you've ever read an interview with me, you probably know it. But then there's the more complex version that speaks to the very beginning.

Before I found bellydance, back in the late 1990's, I was the leader of a college-based faith organization that somehow became the largest open-path Pagan group in Rhode Island, if not in New England - as well as the leader of a tradition. Looking back, I'm not sure how I did it, because not only because was I finishing up getting my degree full-time, newly married, and working part-time, but I was also barely 20.

Anyway, members of the group and the tradition would often socialize together, and one night we all piled into the van, and attended a live concert with Libana - a woman's folk group. What I remember most about that evening was that they performed a short Zar segment (complete with one of the ladies going through the movements). I had no idea what it was, but it moved me to my very core. I had never really considered dance as an outlet up until that point of my life, but something happened to me when I heard that rhythm. It felt...familiar and right. But the experience would pass and soon get covered over by the waves of life.

A year or so later, most of that group (the female members to be precise) would sign up together for bellydance classes at the local community college. Not all of us stuck with it, but we eagerly brought the movements and the music we learned into our rituals immediately. Some (mainly the guys) became interested in playing the music, so we had a terrific time jamming, moving, and dancing. About 6 months down the line, Zingari (music and dance ensemble) was born, and we had our first performance at a local street/metaphysical faire. I had a hard time picking a song to dance to, but in the end I chose "Solitude" by Solace. If you're unfamiliar with that song, it's underlying rhythm is the ayyub, more well-known in dance circles as the Zar rhythm. But I wouldn't come to realize this until some time later, after we had moved to California, and even further along when I connected it to my experience with Libana.

Also at the same time Zingari was experimenting, I had bought "Tarantata - Dance of the Ancient Spider" by Alessandra Belloni. Little did I know then that one day I would experience Alessandra perform live as well, and get to study with her.

I spent those early years in California academically studying trance/ritual dances from around Europe, the Mediterranean, Asia and North Africa - but as my physical study in bellydance advanced, it got pushed aside. It seemed to me that spiritually profound aspect that drew me to dance, wasn't found/present in what I was studying - that I would have to bring it myself, and even then I wasn't so sure about it. Most of the teachers and dancers I met led me to believe that it really didn't exist/doesn't anymore/this is not the place for it/etc. The closest glimpses of that spiritual sense, happened when I performed improvised duets with Anaar - we performed (and still do) sacred fusion and ritual dance. But the weight of everything else seemed to bear down on me when I performed solo.

Then I moved back to the East Coast, and if you read further back in this blog, you can learn more about that transition time. And I had series of experiences with amazing mentors that re-awakened that sense of spiritual in a more deeper, grounded way than I ever thought possible, and confirmed what I believed. Most importantly, I found the roots that I had been looking for in those early years of the dance - that they weren't mythical or buried in dust, but alive and thriving today in the world. A part of me too.

And this 30-something woman can smile and brush fingers with that 20 year old girl whose heart first began to beat to the Zar on a cold night in Rhode Island - as she dances past her in a spiraling path toward her next destination.

Too Much, Too Little, or Just Right

2010-12-21T12:06:00.000-08:00

Remember the fairy tale of Goldilocks and the Three Bears? Where every item Goldilocks encountered was an extreme or just right? The porridge was too hot, too cold, or just right. The beds were too soft, too hard, or just right. The chairs were too big, too small, or just right.

Pretty much all of the performances I see fall into 3 Goldilocks-like categories. There's Over-Dancing, Under-Dancing, and Just Right.

Over-Dancing is when the music says "the mouse is black" and the dancer is saying "the super-fast tiny mouse is most certainly black and is-hiding-in-the-corner!" There's far more movement going on than the music asks for. Consistently throughout the entire performance. And sometimes there's a prop integrated that doesn't make sense with the music. There's no sense of breath, no relief for the audience, and a sense of audio-visual incongruity. Often the dancer is trying to capture too much - the rhythm and the melody all at once, all the time.

Under-Dancing is when the music says "the small mouse is very black" and the dancer is saying "mouse" and "black". Again, and again. Basically hitting only the bare minimum without acknowledging any of the language happening in between. There's too much space, not enough movement, and it feels remedial and gets boring quickly, not matter how big and exciting those initial movements are. It's like typing in ALL CAPS. ALL CAPS. ALL CAPS. ALL CAPS. The dancer here is catching only the accents or only the rhythm with no attention paid to the ornamentation. Dum. Dum. Dum. Dum. When the music says Dum Dum tekka tek, Dum tekka tek, Dum tekka tek tekka tek tekka tek.

Just Right is when the music and the dancer are saying the same exact thing, more or less, throughout the performance. Sometimes the dancer works the melody, sometimes it's the rhythm, sometimes a balance of both, but without getting too busy. There's a sense of breath, a place for both the dancer and the audience to rest and enjoy, and not feel like THERE'S TOO MUCH GOING ON! The dancer works within the structure of the music without doing too much or too little, with a sense of variety.

All of this is part of Musicality means to me, and what I teach. It's so important to really learn how to listen to the music, and not just the rhythm and not just the melody. Far too often dancers simply go "oh, I like this music! I'm going to perform to it!" without really considering the music and what it is saying. Just assigning choreography to a piece of music isn't it. You really need to take the time to consider what it says, and visualize the movements it is asking for. It's this philosophy that allows me to do improv without trepidation. And the more you listen to the music and get in the moment of it, the less you will anticipate what's coming next too far in advance. And the more you will be able to really own those movements and express through them, versus just executing them. The more you listen, the closer you get to "Just Right."

(If you want to learn more, check out the workshop "Musicality & 'Motion" with Tempest at Tribal Fest 11!)

Opinion/Feedback Time!

2010-12-14T17:48:00.000-08:00

I promise there's a deep, thought-provoking sort of post in the works (and has been for about a week, but alas, time has been short), but in the meantime, it's time for you to share your thoughts/opinions on a subject.

So for about 2 years now, I've been brainstorming DVD projects - and I've got enough material for frankly several, but this a self-producing sort of project, so reality says, we're looking at one for now, and go from there. Lining up all of the ducks to make this happen in 2011 (and sooner rather than later), but what I would love to hear from y'all is, what do YOU want to see more of from me, in a DVD format? Don't be shy. :)

Challenged Much?

2010-12-01T09:28:00.000-08:00

(or perhaps better titled: how to avoid being in my blog...)

So, as of last week, I'm offering a second workshop now at Tribal Fest 11 - it's a brand new workshop debuting there called "Shimmies: Sassy to Sizzling!" - which was spawned from the fact that I have noticed a lot students, especially more Tribal/Tribal Fusion ones, having trouble getting a variety of shimmies, and rarely include them in their performances, or if they do, they don't incorporate them successfully in relation to their music. Anyway, upon announcing this new development, someone said to me, "oh, I wish it was another topic, I'm not very good at shimmies." (and yes, I did warn them where this conversation would end up, but I promised not to say who..)

So let me get this straight, you know you're bad at something, but you don't want to take a workshop that would help you get a better understanding of it? I wish I could say this was the first time I heard something like this in the dance community, but it's not. And it's not the same thing of saying, "Ok, I've studied X-style for a good amount of time, and it's not for me" or "I have an injury that prevents me from doing X.") Instead, it's saying "I'm not good at doing X, and I'm afraid to do it for fear of looking bad."

Folks, the point of taking workshops isn't to do stuff you're really good at. Rather the exact opposite. They're about finding your weak spots, engaging areas you don't know much about, expanding your horizons,deepening your knowledge, and making your weaknesses your strengths. And you won't know what these things are unless you try, nor can you get better at them until you seek a solution. And you're not going to look totally awesome doing it - rather the opposite. This is one of those weird situations where, if you feel like a moron in class, chances are, you're on your way to becoming brilliant (eventually). After you continue to practice it, of course. Some of my most favorite/best moves started off as moves I had a lot of problems with, and if you ask around, I'm sure you'll find many other professionals feel the same way.

And sometimes, you just need a new voice telling you how to do something. Someone else may have a better way of explaining or breaking down a move or technique than what you've been exposed to before. And don't assume that just because someone is "big name", that they know everything there is about all things, or are "the one true path." If you only study from one group of people/knowledge area, you're closing yourself off to a wider range of knowledge and perspectives. Or look at it this way - picture yourself as an elephant, walking trunk to tail in a line of elephants, the only perspective you're getting to get is the elephant butt in front of you. Don't be a cenophobe - try something new!

I think part of the problem is that culturally, there's been a switch in mentality in the last 10-20 years in how we approach challenges - in that they should be removed/avoided, because they may cause people to feel bad about themselves. (and I'm generalizing here, but you get the idea, because if you're a parent or teacher now, you've experienced it.) When in fact, it's the challenges that make for stronger, quicker-thinking, problem-solving personalities. And challenges make for better, more diverse dancers.

Star Quality? (Part Two)

2010-11-24T16:38:00.000-08:00

Ok, so continuing on from Star Quality? (Part I), I want to focus on the 3 major factors I listed: Ability, Promotion, and Personality. Someone who is an Established Star has worked hard on all of these factors (and most likely continue to). Out of these 3 things, I would say two of them can always be improved upon over time, with some hard work, dedication, and focus:

Ability: This refers to the individual's technique - not only in how well-versed they are in the dance and what they do, but how able they are as a teacher, as a performer. Let's face it, no matter how naturally dance may come to some, there is always room for improvement and growth. Some dancers let early praise get to their heads, and stop taking classes, workshops - and often start teaching themselves at the same time. If you don't get a realistic picture of where you are at, nor do you ever get any more information in, you're going to plateau very quickly. For those who it doesn't come so easily, or are more critical-thinkers, they're going to work harder, longer, and get farther in the big picture. (Hare vs. Tortoise if you will). Those who rise fast, but don't grow nor continue to get accolades often vanish as quick as they came. Especially if they came on the scene with just one trick or gimmick in their bag. These would make up a fair amount of Shooting Stars. (Not all, because for some, life gets in the way - a major family change, career, move, health issues, etc - may quickly end the career of a Rising Star, making them appear to be short-lived.)

It is also important to note that someone who is a great dancer may not be a great teacher, and vice versa. In the current economy, one really needs to be relatively strong at both to do it professionally. And again, some people are natural teachers or performers, but most are not, and it takes time to acquire those skills and hone them. And live experience makes a difference. Heck, for example, it just makes sense that I would be a better teacher now in 2010, then I was in 2005, 200+ workshops later...and if I wasn't, then I wouldn't be getting the gigs and huge amount of return/repeat students that I am blessed with.

So, when it comes to attaining "star quality" in regards to Ability - you need to be prepared to learn, study, practice, be critiqued, analyze, and share both in the classroom and on the stage.

Promotion: The individual's outlying presence - the image presented online via websites, videos, magazines, business cards, through events and other offerings. Ok, so you've got Ability down - what is your public presence in the world? How easily can potential customers/students/sponsors find out about you? Do you have a website? Business cards? Online video? Back in the day, word of mouth and perhaps a good business card was all you needed, but this is the Information Age. If someone can't google you, see you dance a timezone away, or take home a card, you can easily be forgotten.

And I'm not saying you have to have a ton of money or graphic design talent to do it either, especially not in this day and age, where there's website builders a plenty, super-cheap hosting, and full color business cards for next to nothing. And it doesn't have to be super fancy either - just clean and to the point. Honestly, I built my first website back in the late 90's, and I really can't say my web skills have progressed greatly since the first part of this past decade, but I know good design, and I can do it all myself and update it. So while I don't have the fanciest whistles and bells, I have an easy to navigate website that's updated regularly. Where folks can read about you, where you've been, where you'll be at, how to contact you. That's all you really need. Ok that and some good photos. Which aren't that hard to come by for a small investment of time and/or money, no matter where you are located - and then can be used for all of your promo materials.

Also, don't be fooled into thinking that spending a lot of money on photoshoots and web design will get you there faster either (or expensive costumes), and it's got to be brand-new every 6 months. I remember back-in-the-day snark from people who said I only got where I was because I had a pretty website and costuming. Well, both the website and costuming I made from scratch, which was a major investment of my time, on top of everything else I was doing (college, dance classes, being married, working, and sleep somewhere in there..) - so really even if I had bought those things for a lot of money, it wouldn't change the fact that I'm still going strong many years later. So if you have the talent use it - if you don't, find some reliable friends/contacts who do.

It also helps to have an online presence in other ways too, via networking sites: tribe.net, facebook, blogs, online forums, twitter, etc. People nowadays have a shorter attention span, so you can't just expect to just sit back and be discovered. You have to be pro-active.

So, this would include the two factors that I think you can always be improving on. The last one probably could too, but I'd argue otherwise, I think you either have it/get it, or you don't - and this factor plays the most important role of being an Established Star:

Personality: How they come across as a person - as a performer, as a teacher, as a community member. When I think about all of my dance heroes (and they all have been dancing for nearly as long as I have been alive, or longer), there are some incredibly similar traits that they all share. They're all sincere, honest, grounded, minimal-drama people. They're also all relatively easy to work with - as performers, teachers, and as people. They have staying quality because they have proven themselves to be consistent and reliable over a long period of time. They're not afraid to express their opinion, but they also recognize when it is the best time to do so. They are respected in their local communities as well as across the globe. They have a serious work ethic, but also know how to have fun and don't take themselves too seriously either. And they're always open to learning something new. And most importantly, they don't do it for fame, they do it because they truly love what they do and love sharing it.

And I really stress that these things are proven again and again over time. I can think of several Shooting Stars who had amazing charisma, but little real substance, and most people do catch on eventually that they really aren't all that and a bag of pita chips. People also grow weary of Drama Queens who make too many demands but offer little else in return. And it's important to be a part of your local community - even though I travel a lot, I still make time for local events, haflas, benefits, because it's important and I care about my community and growing opportunities for my students.

So if you'd like to be a Rising Star (or are one already!), and would like to see yourself one day as an Established Star - carefully consider all of these factors, and take a good step back and look at yourself. Don't be afraid to grow, to change, and to expand, and be sure you know you're doing it for the right reasons.

And for the record, I would consider myself Rising to Aspiring Established Star. Maybe in another 10 years, ok?

Star Quality?

2010-11-24T13:05:00.000-08:00

Another question that comes up often is "how does one get to be well-known/considered to be a "star" in the bellydance community?"

In order to answer that, we need to look at what makes a star and what IS a star anyway? There are several different factors at stake, as well as several different "tiers" of stardom if you will. If I was going to narrow the factors down into 3 sections, it would be Ability, Promotion, and Personality:

Ability: This refers to the individual's technique - not only in how well-versed they are in the dance and what they do, but how able they are as a teacher, as a performer.

Promotion: The individual's outlying presence - the image presented online via websites, videos, magazines, business cards, through events and other offerings.

Personality: How they come across as a person - as a performer, as a teacher, as a community member.

The combination of these 3 factors determine which level of stardom one may achieve. Here I have also narrowed the levels down to the 3 most common, which I have dubbed: Rising Stars, Shooting Stars, and Established Stars.

Rising Stars: Rising Stars are typically dancers who may be well-known in their local community, but are starting to break out on their national or international scene. It can also refer to a younger dancer who exhibits a lot of potential to develop into much more.

Shooting Stars: Dancers who come fast on the scene, and seem to vanish the same way they arrived, for any number of reasons.

Established Stars: Dancers who are tried and true names in the business, who continue to grow and develop, and maintain their staying power. They are generally among the most respected members of their local communities as well as far beyond. 10, 20, 30, 40 years, they're still around, going strong.

So how is it done? More importantly, how is it done WELL? Well, we'll cover that in Part II!

Age & Dance - Revisiting Old Thoughts

2010-11-16T08:22:00.000-08:00

It's been about 5 years since I wrote THE AGE OF STORYTELLING for the Hip Circle. A LOT has happened in that relatively short period of time, especially in my dancing - particularly performances and how I approach them, and consider the end result - but as well in my larger life as well - another cross-country move, then a move back to New England, another nationwide tour, and design positions. And as I work my way towards the mid-30's, I wondered if my perspective on what I wrote has changed much.

In short: no - I still sincerely believe that every woman has something to say through her dancing. But what I would add is that what we say changes. And how you say it will change as well if you continue to grow in your dance (taking classes, workshops, trying new things, re-discovering basics).

I would say that my dancing still maintains a dark edge that is naturally part of my aesthetic and personality, but it permeates my work in new ways. Looking back at the pieces of my 20's (from early 20's through to late 20's), it was a lot more confrontational, a lot more angry and hard-edged in a "in-your-face" sort of way. I created pieces dedicated to Kali Ma and the Rusalka, explored gender roles and my frustrations with the dance community. I played with the Noir/20's aesthetic, but kept running back to more Industrial/Cyber kind of Gothic themes, feeling that there was more power there. There were a lot of good ideas, but at that point in time, my brain was far ahead of my dancing - meaning the concept was there, but I wasn't fully capable of physically executing the pieces consistently. There were points of breakthrough, but not every time - and I was moving too fast through everything (physically, mentally, spiritually). Few people realize that I had only started dancing in 2000, so when the Gothic Bellydance DVDs came out, I had only been doing dance for 5-6 years - so a lot of things happened at/to me very fast in a short amount of time. And I think that reflected in my dancing, for better and for worse, and in my relationships with others.

Midway through 2007, my husband and I (and The Mischief) moved back to the East Coast, and while I don't think things magically changed overnight, it was this move that started a new direction in my dancing, which started to emerge the following year on stage. I started teaching weekly classes (never was the logical thing to do in the overcrowded Bay Area), and while I had always loved teaching, my skills and understanding grew even more - and I focused more on instruction than creating new performances. And the pace of everything just seemed to slow down as my focus shifted. I re-visited old performance sets and found new life in them. I began to create a smaller amount of new performances, and worked with them longer, more intimately, allowing myself time to fully explore them, rather than worrying about presenting something new to "keep up." And most importantly, my body caught up with my brain.

As we end the near of 2010, I feel like I have journeyed far more in the last 3 years than I did in the first 8. I grew into my own technique and claimed it more wholly, with my entire being. I developed a new perspective on dance, and with that forged new relationships with dancers - both as a mentor and being mentored. My dance has become more about satisfying my own muses than worrying about what others may think/perceive, and I want to share that focus with others.

So you could say sure, this is all related to growing older, but I don't think it's so much about physical age, as it is about learning to slow down, to shed what's not needed, and give time where it's most important - instead of racing to what's next. "Next" will arrive when it's good and ready - or at least, when I am.

(I also recommend checking out Artemis Mourat's article on the Gilded Serpent "Journey Into Womanhood" if you would like to read more about this subject - Artemis is a fabulous dancer, teacher, and friend who I admire greatly. )

Defying Definition Part II: Unburdening

2010-11-10T09:26:00.000-08:00

Labels are heavy things upon our shoulders - let them slide to the floor and go down the drain, and prepare to dance liberated and free. (a passage from the book of Tempest..)

In my last post, I talked about the time before the style-obsession/wars and previously I talked about the Tree of Style - and today I would like to talk about moving past that and focusing on the dance itself, which is something I believe that all students of the dance can learn from, whether you have been doing this 10 months, 10 years, etc.

On one hand, let it be clear that I am obsessed with information. I love gathering it: finding out about history, culture, tradition vs. innovation, what causes changes, the effects of those changes, etc. I love finding out what makes X "X" and Y "Y". And I love sharing that information. That is the main reason I created the Gothic Bellydance Resource - to document the developments, gather information, share it and explain it with others. (And back in 2003-2006 I had the time to really grow it, now not so much, and it's in severe need of an update....but I digress...) The result of its creation was the building of a definition of that genre/style in ways I could not possibly have imagined when I first conceived it.

That being said, I've never been one to color inside the lines and follow dependable paths and be true to stereotypes. Not because of some sense of rebellion, desire to shock, or purposely be iconoclastic, but simply that's how my brain is wired. I have always find the "weird" way to do things very natural, and I track my muses not unlike the errant knights of old - meandering, wandering, yet passionate.

Which translated means: I follow my creative/instinctive whims in all things, especially in dance and art. Which ~~probably~~ has caused some confusion on the receiving end of things along the way for others. In order to help others (particularly my students, but anyone who may be in a style predicament), I will share with you some of the hazards of labels I've experienced, and hopefully help you to avoid falling prey to defining others/yourself by them.

Here are just SOME of these confusions that have been shared with me (and that I expect other dancers have experienced in their own ways):

-That I do/teach/perform Tribal/Tribal Fusion dance. Nope, I have studied ATS/Tribal, but nowhere as much as I have studied cabaret/oriental/folkloric, and that has always been my main vehicle in my instruction and my performances. I have been very much welcomed at Tribal events (Tribal Fest, Tribal Fusion Faire, etc) because I present non-traditional material that is applicable to all styles of dance, and for many years, that was the only kind of venue it was considered acceptable. Things are starting to change, and that's great, because it opens up more people to what I offer, which really can be applied to all styles across the board.

-That people are afraid that I will judge their performances for not being "Goth enough." I don't own a goth-o-meter. If you want me to critique your piece, I will in the context you present it to me in, and since Goth is such a large genre with so many subcultures, that there's a lot of room to play with. But first and foremost thought is, what do you have to say with your dance? That is what is most important to me and can help me give you the best feedback if you want my opinion. Which brings us to the exact opposite of the same confusion:

-I don't fit your expectations/stereotypes of what is Goth. One of the most laughable reviews I have read criticized my appearance, citing I wasn't "freaky" enough because I'm not covered in piercings and tattoos (I have two tattoos, and I have my ears pierced, that's about it.) Anyone who has been a Goth through the last 10-20-30 years can tell you, it's not a look, it's a mindset, a way of thinking and perceiving the world. I find beauty in dark and unusual things that most people don't see/care for/fear. I'm not here to play who's the darkiest dark, ooky-spooky, stereotypical-looking dancer - I'm on a dance journey, and that doesn't involve satisfying anyone else's expectations but my own. I don't construct my performances seeking to satisfy the status quo. Which pretty much means you never know what will show up, but it will be different and yet distinctly me.

-That because I do fusion, I don't care about tradition/culture/etc. Quite the opposite, I care very much about roots, tradition, and sacred concepts - and deepening my understanding of them. Much of my art (dance and visual) is about my exploration of history, traditions, folklore, myth, and how that relates to myself, society, and everything else. Frankly, I'm genetically engineered to fuse - I come from a very, very long line of people who married outside of their culture/faith/nationality. I really believe I am hard-wired this way because I have approached everything in life with this perspective. Ask my parents ;)

* * *

There are lots more (and if you have some you want to ask/want me to clear up, please feel free to comment!), but I think many dancers can relate to these points if you just exchange out some of the style names.

And it's not like I went out there and made any of these statements to lead people to believe these confusions. Quite the opposite, as I'm rather vocal in what I believe and practice. But it happened anyway.

Part (most) of the problem lays in preconceived notions, misinformation, and personal baggage. People bring to labels what they know (or lack there of), and unfortunately a lot of people are quick to judge/dismiss, instead than saying "You know what? I don't know, let's ask or do some research?" I think it's out of fear - being afraid to ask, being fearful of showing you don't know what you're talking about. But the thing is, you'll never know if you don't try or ask. You can't grow that way. Don't be afraid to ask questions.

And if you hold yourself to your own labels (or those that are applied to you), you limit your experience. It's one thing to ask yourself is a certain piece venue/audience/event appropriate, have you done your research and practice, does it all go together cohesively- and another thing to be afraid to move out what you've already done because of fear. Fear of what other people may think, fear of misunderstanding, fear of being perceived as something else. You can't control what other people think. What you can do is to present the best you can to your ability and to frame it properly (does it have a write-up/introduction, are you presenting it in the best situation, etc), and let it be. The first stitch in creating a pattern has to start with change - otherwise, it would be a straight line.

And trying something different is not a lifelong commitment by any means. Whether I paint in acrylic, oil, or watercolor, I'm still painting, and I'm free to use whatever resources I wish, given I take the time to learn the technique to use them. The same is true for dance. And it's totally ok afterward to say to yourself,"You know what? that style doesn't work for me." But at least you tried it and expanded your experience and know more because of it.

So don't let labels define you and your dance. If you hold them too closely, you risk getting the most out of your dance and who you are, who you can be. Dare to defy them, let go of the baggage, and just dance.

Defying Definition Part I: The Time Before the Style Wars

2010-10-29T11:50:00.000-07:00

The topic of this post has been wandering my brain for quite some time, and I think it's time it gets out from between my ears and to your eyes. (Aren't you lucky!)

One of the most prevalent issues my students bring to me is identity and definition: "What style should I be? If I do X here, but Y there, what does that mean? How will people perceive me? What should I do? OMG STYLE!"

When I first started bellydancing, there was very little talk of "style" in the sense of "what kind of bellydance do you do?" Sometimes it meant what specific culture (Egyptian? Turkish? One of my instructors just called it "Arabic"...), or it referred to what a specific performer/instructor brought to the dance (that's so Dalia Carella, so Shareen El Safy, so Nourhan Sharif, etc). That was pretty much it. Bellydance was bellydance. Sometimes it was folkloric (this is a scarf dance, this is Khaleegy), sometimes it had a Gypsy flair (big skirts! fans!), but it was all definitely bellydance. Pretty much in the early days of the internet and prior to that, whatever your teacher told you was the word as you knew it - if she told you about any particular kind of style or difference at all.

And then there was Tribal. More specifically, there was American Tribal Style brought to us by Fat Chance Belly Dance in the mid 1990's a la video tape. My very first bellydance VHS actually was "Tattooed One" - carefully chosen from so many options in Artemis Import's huge, extensive, and very photo-copied/cut-and-paste physical catalog. Back in Rhode Island, in 2000, there was no such thing as Tribal anything in terms of classes, just a good 30-40 years experience of bellydance passed on by a few local legends. I spent hours researching it online, reading the many articles and interviews on Kajira Djoumahna's website (back when BlackSheep BellyDance was "United W Dance"), reading the archives on the med-dance list trying to figure out the differences and similarities, and just learning about as much about bellydance in general as I could. When I asked locally about Tribal, I got a mixed bag of answers, but the best advice was to "go to the source". (Not able to quite do that at that moment in time, I was able to bring someone to Rhode Island who had at least done so - a Boston dancer who had gone out to SF to study it a bit - and so we had the first Tribal workshop in RI. I can't say that I fell in love with it in the format it was presented, but it didn't dissuade me either.)

In 2001 we moved to the Bay Area of California, and the Tribal vs. Cabaret War was kicking off - at festivals and haflas, in online forums and discussion groups, in organizations and across communities. While there were still ~~arguments~~ discussions about what was more "authentic" - Egyptian or Turkish, modern or classic, American Cabaret a la 1970's, 80's, 90's - the main rage across the internet was Is Tribal bellydance? (And really, keep in mind, back then, Tribal meant Tribal as in American Tribal Style - it hadn't yet been a catch-all term or attached to the word "fusion.") And Tribal-only events began to spring up all over (Tribal Fest in Sebastopol, California was the first to be dedicated to Tribal-style in 2000). And then more experimental/alternative forms of bellydance began developing and also making an appearance at those events.

Now is probably a good time to mention that part of the initial appeal of Tribal for me (besides the costuming and earthy movement) was that dancers I saw on "Tattooed One" (and the few Tribal websites of the time) were mainly from the alternative crowd. They were covered in tattoos, they had piercings and oddly colored hair peeping out from their turbans, and they were all different sizes and ages. They were definitely not the kind of woman that sprung to mind when one thought of a stereotypical bellydancer. Having been raised as an artist from a mixed household and pretty much an outsider all the way through school, that acceptance of being different but still beautiful really spoke to me. And I know a lot of other women felt the same way. It wasn't so much about it being a different style of bellydance as it was about being open to a different lifestyle/identity.

And that infusion of more "marginal" folks helped push definitions, boundaries, and bring new creative thought to the dance. In 2003, I launched the Gothic Bellydance Resource (http://www.gothicbellydance.com) to document the development and growth of that mode of thinking (in both cabaret and tribal forms). Tribal Fusion birthed in California and began to grow and change. Other dance forms like Ballet, Modern, and Jazz found their way more prevalently into bellydance. East Coast! West Coast! Southern! Euro! Asian! More alternative bellydance events took flight, more workshops on fusion took place, new names charged onto the scene.

(I guess at this point you could say Tribal is like a gateway drug, because the relative acceptance of the original Tribal (ATS), made way for all sorts of fusion to come running in the through the bellydance door (for better, for worse.) Ahem.)

Whatever it was (or all that it was), Tribal became hugely popular as we moved further along into the middle of the first decade of the 21st Century, and most of the events where Tribal had felt a cold shoulder open up and expanded to include it - on stage, in workshops, in the vending room. And somewhere along the line, the question of "Is Tribal Bellydance (and should we allow it)?" changed to "What IS Bellydance?" And with that came a lot of navel gazing. And it's from this deeper examination of the dance, what makes it what is, where it comes from, and where it's going has made us a lot more focused on what we are doing, what style are we? This is both a good thing and a bad thing.

Next Up: Part II: Unburdening

Accepting the Unscience of Performing Dance

2010-10-19T10:45:00.000-07:00

Carrying on with some of the ideas in my previous entry about performing, I want to talk about the unscience of performance.

What do I mean by "unscience" - when all of the necessary items seem to be present to make a great performance, but it doesn't happen, and vice versa. You're prepared, the music is right, the stage is lovely, costume fits perfectly, the lighting is awesome, the house is full, and yet, it just doesn't happen the way you thought it would.

Science says that if you have all of the ingredients in the right amounts, at the right temperature, put together in the correct way, you should get a predictable end product. That's the beauty of the Scientific Method - it helps us prove cause and effect, order and logic. That the recipe for mice isn't throw some food in a pile of straw in the corner of the barn and you will magically get mice out of thin air. (For the non-geeks, this was an actual theory under the concept of "Spontaneous Generation.")

Logically, if you're prepared (you practiced, you did your work, the music is done well, your costume is finished and fits, you've worked with that prop 100's of times, you've done this show before, etc), then everything should be good, but not everything is black and white. There's the other variables: the space made you feel weird, the audience was unusually supportive or dead, the stage felt funny, the lights were not bright/too bright, your costume did something weird it never did before, your earring got stuck on your veil...all of these things can happen at any time. But these things are small variables that rarely can be helped.

The truth is, there are far too many variables in the arts to provide the same exact results every time - and most specifically, WE ourselves are the greatest, most unstable variable. I have done performances severely jetlagged and half-starved and under-prepared that have been the most incredible, and then at the other end, happy stomach, 8 hours of sleep, totally prepared - and the result was meh. I don't mean to imply that one must be tortured to get amazing results but rather I am citing ironic examples of when you would expect a good vs. bad performance and got the opposite effect. All of the elements said it should have been predictably one way or the other, but it wasn't.

Maybe part of it is level of expectation - if you don't expect a lot, you leave a lot of room for potential satisfaction If you set your sights too high, it seems impossible to reach that goal, so you're setting yourself up for failure. If you've done that performance before, you're comparing it to that last experience, which also creates a type of expectation.

So what can you do about it?

Well, you should still try and take care of all of the constants you are responsible for. Plan your piece out, practice it with your intended props/costumes, check out the stage ahead of time, eat/drink/sleep accordingly. In other words: be prepared. But once you've got those logical components out the way, be open to a little magic and mystery. Don't over-anticipate what's going to happen, what people may think, how it may compare to last time - instead, allow yourself to be in that moment, and that moment only. Enjoy it for being NOW. Accept that anything can happen, and it's not the end of the world, but you will do your best that you can possible do for this moment. And don't beat yourself up if it doesn't turn out exactly as planned. Sometimes, that makes it even better.

"Hecate" Performance at Rakkasah East

2010-10-18T20:08:00.000-07:00

(click on the video for details about the performance, music, etc)

The Stage In Your Head

2010-10-15T10:45:00.000-07:00

At this past weekend at Rakkasah East, the question I was asked most on Sunday (about a dozen times or so) was "Do you get nervous before performing? Do you get stage-fright?" I was scheduled to perform near the end of the day, so I had some time to think about it.

And generally, my answer is no. I don't get stage-fright, and I rarely get nervous before performing. Nowadays anyway. I actually don't think I have ever really had stage-fright in the classic sense, going all the way back to grade school plays. This is probably not surprising to people who encounter me in the classroom or on the stage, at events - as I tend to appear very extroverted. But I'm a true Gemini, and my normal state of being is Introvert. Something clicks over when I need to teach or perform, but I'm not a social butterfly and I prefer sincere interactions.

But I have in the past gotten nervous before a performance for both good and bad reasons. The "good" - there are people in the audience I greatly respect and value their opinion/feedback, and I want to do well for them. In this situation, it's not a matter so much of whether or not I will make them happy, but realizing because I respect them for very valid, solid reasons (and generally the feeling is mutual), then they will understand me, they want to see me do well, and they want to help make suggestions to improve the dance where I can. I still get the occasional butterfly when I dance before my dance heroes, but it helps lend energy to the moment rather than stifle it.

The "bad": psyching myself into thinking that a performance at a certain event can make or break my career. And I think I did my less-than-best performances in the latter category. For years, I considered myself a better teacher than a performer, and that's what I had to live with. But as soon as I stopped setting myself up against a large mainly-imaginary goal and worrying about what people I didn't even know/care for/respect thought of me - everything changed. Being immersed in the design world these last couple of years (aka "real world") 40+ hours a week helped too - it helped put everything into perspective. There will be other performances, this one performance in this one spot is not the end-all be-all, and you can't please everyone - because everyone has their own baggage that they bring to the table. Some people will like it, some won't, some will love and some will hate, and all are exposed to the same piece. It's their experience to your experience and you can't control it.

It is not a matter of "not caring" as so much it is giving respect to yourself and your dance. While you are on stage, exist for that moment in time, that point in your journey of dance. What came before and what will come after doesn't matter in that moment. There will be things that happen that are out of your control (costume malfunctions, bad lighting, music skipping, slipping, missed choreography), but these things do not define who you are as dancer. And most of all, don't forget: breathe and HAVE FUN!

Art & Bellydance

2010-10-01T10:01:00.000-07:00

The following is actually a post I wrote on bhuz in 2007 - I just came across it reading a current thread on a similar topic (those "related topic" links are handy!), and I thought I'd share it here:

One of my greatest pet peeves is the misuse of the title of art when it comes to bellydance. Nothing grates on my nerves more than a hodge-podge collection of random costuming, music bits, and BD moves being displayed and then defended as art.

It's another one of those umbrella terms that gets sullied in overuse without support.

I do believe that bellydance is an art in itself..it's a performing art, just like the other forms of dance - it takes skill to achieve and serves to express the human condition - our soul, our hearts, what and where the rhythm brings us.

But I'm also very aware that my position comes from a life-long study of visual art. I started attending formal art school when I was in first grade, and continued on all the way through college, and may eventually go back for a masters (when I have time lol), but my main purpose for that is to learn another art-form (like weaving/fabrics/apparel), which I can do without getting a masters degree ;)

I graduated from RISD - one of the best and toughest art schools in the nation. The criticism I receive over my dancing is nothing compared to the brutality of the crit wall in foundation and major classes, and lasting upwards of 4-8 hours long each time. My parents were not and are not easy-going, praise-giving type of people, and I have and do work professionally in the arts...so I would say I have a very thick skin, nor do I seek praise for what I do. I don't think I would be where I am without these traits.

I'm telling you this because I mean to say, when I call what I do art, it's not an excuse. Whether I'm creating visual art or dance, I approach it the same way. First, what is it that I wish to say? How can I best say it? What media will best accomplish my intent (for dance this would be music/costume/moves), and how will this possibly affect my audience? (I say possibly because you just never know until it's done how it is seen through others eyes, and generate ideas and concepts you may have never considered...which is all part of the artistic process.)

And I teach these qualities in my workshops and emphasize to my students to THINK before they dance. Again, if you're going to do fusion, you should know 1. why you're doing it 2. what you're fusing 3. where and how is it going to work?

If you can't answer those questions before doing a performance, I don't think you should be doing it. And you'd best not call the sorry result art. Art is NOT an excuse, it's a language---and you either speak it well, or you don't.

Is Your Performance an Appetizer or a Buffet?

2010-09-25T18:26:00.000-07:00

Mmm....food! My students know how much I love to use food-based metaphors to help our understanding of the dance, and now you will too!

I think one of the key defining elements between determining whether a dancer really is a "professional" (seasoned, experienced, confident, etc) or an "amateur" (still developing, maturing, growing into their dance, something to prove), is how they approach and structure their performances.* I've spent countless hours watching dancers perform, from newbies to old timers all over the world, and I've come to this conclusion: the best performances are presented like appetizers, while others are like a trip to an all-you-can-eat-buffet on the mind, and we're not talking a champagne brunch.

The Buffet: Most often, a less-experienced dancer will look at the time-slot they are given, and try to mastermind how to utilize every single one of those minutes and how many different kinds of things they squeeze into that performance. Or if there is no time-limit, will present as much and as long as they can get away with. "OK, it says the time-slot is '5-10 minutes' - so I've got 10 minutes to work with, so I can do at least 3 songs, and I think I'll do sword, veil, wings, fans, and mix that with some Bollywood and some hip-hop too! It will be awesome!!"

And I'm sure some folks are going, "So what's wrong with that? Variety is the spice of life! Look at all of the things I can do! Why shouldn't I show off all that I know!?" Well, let us consider an all-you-can-eat buffet at your typical American buffet-style restaurant. There tends to be a wide variety of choices: salad bar, taco bar, dessert bar, meat station, pasta station, pizza station, soup station, etc. A LOT of food, and particularly a lot of different kinds of food you wouldn't typically find paired together --and because there's so much of it, there's often a couple of really high points, a large amount of mediocre, and some really dismal. And those really good things tend to get taken down by the experience of the rest, and particularly the tendency to overload.

So what does that mean in terms of a dance performance? Well, let's say you are a really awesome sword dancer, but your veilwork needs some work, and you really just started learning Bollywood fusion a few weeks ago (and are REALLY excited about it!). Well, while your sword dance is a like a really nice cut of steak, you're pairing it with limp salad and watery mashed potatoes. The audience may be wowed by the steak, but the limp salad and potato slush are going to take away from that great impact. Likewise, performing very different unrelated dances (like Bollywood fusion, Egyptian, and Gothic) in the same set is like having a Thai course followed by an Italian course followed by Japanese- you could, but should you?

How To Avoid the Buffet:

Edit, Edit, Edit! Rather than showing off everything you think you can do, pick one or two things that you know you do REALLY well and focus your attention on presenting those things very well, to the best of your ability Or if it's an experiment or a new thing for you to perform, then just do that one thing and plan your introduction accordingly.
Less is more! Just because you are given the option to use UP TO a certain amount of time, doesn't mean you need to fill every minute. You don't need to dance every minute, just use the amount of time you need to present a solid dance.
Think cohesively. What do your different elements have to do with each other? If the only thing in common is that they're a prop, a fusion, or that you're involved, that's not good enough. Also, if you like 6 different songs, use those songs when you can give them the best presentation - don't make a schizo-mix. Love them individually, not parts of them together unless it makes sense.
Be kind to your audience by not overloading them. Especially when the event features a lot of performers, less time and more focus makes a more satisfied audience.

The Appetizer - Appetizers give us a taste of delicious food, without making us feel stuffed. The experienced dancer/performer knows that it's important to give the audience a tasty morsel of them without giving away too much all at once. Rather than using the maximum time allotted or monopolizing the stage, they carefully select and structure their performances to make the most of their music and the concept they want to get across. In that projected time-slot of 5-10 minutes, you will find them using the lower end (5-7 minutes), not because they don't have more ideas, props, or the stamina, but because they want to present the very best they can do. Their musical choices make sense with their costuming, props, and movement vocabulary. If they do more than one song, it provides contrast to the first piece without being disconnected, and flow without feeling like it's going to be 3 more minutes of the first 5. The Appetizer performance leaves the audience feeling satisfied without being bombarded or bored. They leave the audience wanting more.

How To Make An Appetizer:

Consider what you want to say with your dance, and what's the most efficient way of saying it.
Learn how to edit your music so that it flows while fitting within your time.
Make sure your whole presentation is cohesive: costuming, music, make-up, movements.
Choose your best talents and make it work. If you don't feel confident about something, don't do it.
Take your time to practice the piece and trial-run your costuming. The morning-of is not the time to figure out a new prop or costume.

So when you're planning your next performance, consider what sort of audio-visual meal you are making for your audience. Consider the hafla or show as a potluck, and everyone should be bringing tapas to the stage!

(*there always exceptions to this....for better or for worse, so really it's not such a clear distinction of "pro" and "non-pro", but really part of what makes a dancer an excellent performer who exercises good judgment consistently....)

(And yes, I probably have been watching too many cooking competition shows...)

Make It Purple!

2010-09-12T18:01:00.000-07:00

Recently I was explaining depth and variety to my performance prep students, and out came this metaphor/analogy that really turned on the light bulb for them, so I thought I would share:

A common thing a lot of dancers do, especially those new to performing (or strangers to performance technique) is the dance equivalent of doing a painting in entirely blue - and I'm not talking monochromatic (different tints and shades and variations of blue) - I'm talking about using the same tube of blue paint for the whole painting. Translated to dance: using the same exact pace and movements/movement quality throughout an entire performance. There may be a movement she/he does really well, but they do it throughout the whole piece again and again, or the movements are all done with the same exact force, same exact meter, throughout.

You don't have to have a whole arsenal of paint at your disposal to make a good painting that's interesting to look at. So yes, you love that blue, but what if you had a tube of red paint? What if instead of blue the whole time, you added some red? And then what if you mixed the blue and the red together? You get purple! That's 3 colors (and the many increments of variation found with the spectrum between blue and red when they're mixed together)!

Back to dance - let's say the blue is your favorite dance combination. And the red allows you to do that combination slower or faster, or add a new development on top of it that changes the look (purple!). What are the basic moves that make up that combination, and where you can you go with them? Level changes? Floor geometry? Different arm positions? Suddenly that all blue painting becomes a lot more interesting, and that blue looks even better because you've started to bring in other elements that help make it special.

So make some purple with your dance!

May you forever thirst......for knowledge.

2010-09-06T08:12:00.000-07:00

In the land between emerging dancer and professional dancer, the question often comes up, when does one stop take classes? Ideally, never.

There seems to be this myth in some communities that if you're still regularly attending classes or workshops, then you're not a professional dancer. There are many things that define a professional dancer, and this myth is NOT one of them. (In that same realm of thought, teaching classes or performing at a restaurant doesn't make you a professional dancer either, but we'll save that for another post.)

We'll tackle this topic by common statements:
"But I've gotten as far as my teacher can teach me."
That may be true, but one teacher does not hold all that there is about bellydance, as wise as she (or he) may seem to be. Every teacher has their own style and preferences, as well as strengths and weaknesses. For example, I had one fabulous teacher who just didn't care for reverse undulations, so we never did them in class or performances. It wasn't until I took classes with another instructor that I really understood them and got them down. Different teachers will unlock different doors, so if you've gone as far as you think you can with one, and there's more teachers in your area, keep going, even if that means starting off in their beginning class. This is a common and sensible practice, because there are so many approaches, styles, and vocabularies, that it's important to get a feeling for what that teacher does. Even if you feel you're "beyond" taking a beginner class, it make for excellent practice as well as being great for jogging the memory - as we often get obsessed with complicated moves, and forget the beauty simplicity of the basic core moves.

Also, have a solid idea of where your teacher is coming from. Who did she/he study with? How long have they've been dancing? Look into their dance family tree and take a critical eye. If your teacher has only been dancing for several years and studied with X who's only been dancing for a few years prior to teaching, you could be missing out on a lot of important information. It's like the telephone game with bellydance. Sure, "X" studied with the great "Z", but if she only studied with her for 1-2 years, and then started teaching to your teacher, who also only took classes for a few sessions, then a lot of vital information could have been lost.

"But there's no one else in my area..."
Really? Not everyone is on facebook, tribe, or bhuz - have you done your research? Could there be old school teachers in your neck of the woods who just don't do much online? How about the next town over? 1/2 hour away? How far are you willing to go for a good teacher? (I have students who commute up to an hour each way to take my classes, my hat's off to them!)

If there really is no one else local to you or your schedule/budget doesn't allow for weekly travel, then there are other options:
1. Workshops - if you can't get to a weekly class, then you should budget for a workshop regularly. Workshops are great for learning new material, skills, styles, and giving yourself something to think about outside of your familiar range. Bellydance has blossomed in such a way that there tends to be something going on in most big cities at least once a month, if not every weekend. (Here where I am in New England, I can get to most places Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, and New Hamphire in under 2-3 hours. And there is ALWAYS something going on.)
2. Private Lessons - private lessons are a great way to really fine tune yourself. It's definitely worth the travel and money, because often just one hour of a private lesson will yield weeks (if not months) of serious focus on things to perfect in your dance. So maybe if you're not getting enough from a weekly class, ask your teacher about private lessons, or talk to teachers further away that you admire. It's worth it. Some teachers now offer private lessons via the internet.
3. DVDs & Online Classes- I list these last, because while the material can be great, you're not going to get personal instruction and most importantly CORRECTION if you're doing it wrong. But DVDs and online classes are a great and often affordable way to learn new materials and styles.

"Why do I need to learn more? My teacher never corrected me and always told me how great I am! I am fabulous!"
Don't laugh - if I put it here, I've heard it and seen it. First off, if your weekly class has more than a handful of people, your teacher is far less likely to be able to offer individual corrections. Especially on basic things like posture and footwork, if the focus is getting a choreography down - or there's 30 people in the room, it's very hard to see that your posture goes out of whack when you start moving or that your transitions aren't smooth. Next up, a lot of teachers are fearful of giving critique. They don't want to hurt your feelings/don't want to chance losing your business/don't believe in it/don't know how to give it. Yes, it's a beautiful dance, and everyone should do it, but when students start moving into professional arenas, teachers need to be realistic with them. Just because you got some praise doesn't mean you know it all.

"But MS SUPERSTAH DANCER said I was the best thing she's ever seen since sliced bread!"
Get out more and don't get a big head. I've seen some "big name" dancers deliver the same line to numerous dancers of varying caliber. Which means they either have a goldfish memory "oh look a castle!" (swim, swim) "oh look a castle!" or they know how to milk sycophants because it's good business for them. Trust the people who have seen you develop, ask for real feedback, what can you improve on - because there's always something to work on.

"I just don't have the time."
If you say this, AND you're teaching AND you can't make room for one thing a month to improve your dancing, then maybe you shouldn't be doing it. It's hard to hear, but some folks should be taking classes instead of teaching them. If you have the time to teach every week, then you have the time to learn more.

"But if I'm still taking classes, won't other professional dancers look down on me?"
If they do, they're not much in the way of professional. Every single dancer that I have studied with in the past and continue to work with now, still works to expand their knowledge, regardless of whether they've been doing this for 10, 20, 30, or 50 years. And they always have something new and interesting to share - and sometimes they discover it conflicts with something else they had learned, and it makes them think/grow.

So, what does it all mean? If you're serious about bellydancing - whether you want to perform it or teach it (or both), never stop learning, never stop being a student. And you will continue to grow and improve in your dance - which is really the best way to be the dancer you want to be.

Guest Post by M'chelle

2010-09-02T07:08:00.000-07:00

M'chelle (of Kansas City, MO) posted this piece today, and in the spirit of "Dancing is for everyone, performing is not", I wanted to share this with you. The title link will take you directly to her blog, her name link will take you to her website. The bullet list at the end is especially critical for both teachers and students.

A Plea to my Dance Community - by M'chelle -

With the rising popularity of bellydance, and the rising fame of dancers like Ansuya, Rachel Brice, and Sharon Kihara (amongst so many others), there are more and more aspiring dancers fighting for the same jobs.
On one hand, this is awesome - more competition, in theory, should raise the general quality level of performers. The more commonplace bellydance becomes, potentially the more understanding there will be that we are not strippers. The more the public sees bellydancers, especially at venues like Cultural Fairs and Outdoor Child-Friendly Festivals, I feel, potentially, the less we we be associated with sexually explicit nonsense.

However, all that theory and conjecture is just theory and conjecture, and is totally dependant on the very individuals who are undertaking these performances. Baby beginner dancers (and I have been guilty of this myself) have an unerring tendency to get so excited about the prospect of performing or teaching, they rarely take the time to consider whether or not they should be performing or teaching, or for that matter what is in fact a fair price for any performance or class. On top of that, most people hiring bellydancers have no idea what the difference between a quality performance and amatuerish jiggling really is. The idea of mentorship between teacher and student is sadly lacking, at least in my dance community. There is very little interference when it comes to advising young dancers not to perform or teach.

Once again, I'm guilty of this myself - I've had students come up to me, thrilled because so and so heard they were bellydancing and asked them to come and teach a workshop at a wine bar or private lessons out a garage or living room - and invariably these lessons are free or so cheap as to be painful. The idea of appropriateness also seems to be completely lacking. Yes, you can bellydancer is burlesque inspired costuming - but doing so to sexysexy music at a street fair is not the best idea when so many of us are trying to elevate this dance form from the level of cheap entertainment to high art to be regarded with the same amount of respect garnered (to my perception) as ballet dancers and aerialists.

I am, of this moment, making a vow to be honest with my students when they ask about the possibilities of performing and teaching, and to be truthful when informed about already accepted gigs and classes. And I think it would be really excellent if other bellydancer teachers would vow to do that same.
I don't fee like I'm ready to be a mentor yet - there's still so much that I'm trying to figure out, not only about the business of bellydance, but about my place in it - and I have a really excellent mentor helping me to do that.

If you are a beginning dancer, hoping to be a professional one day, take the following, put it in your practice journal, and anytime some friend or neighbor or coworker asks you to come perform at a party or teach a little class, re-read it, and answer yourself honestly.

If I take this job, will I be representing this art form at a level and in a manner that shows respect not only to my teachers, but to every other dancer that has come before me?
Am I willing to charge the going rate for this job, so as not to be taking money out of the mouths of other dancers in my area?
Will taking this dance job elevate the dance form?
Do I have the appropriate costuming/music/style/skill level for this performance?
Have I talked to my teacher about whether or not this is a good idea for me at this point in my dance-life?

In a nutshell...

2010-08-30T13:57:00.000-07:00

"Dancing is for everyone, performing is not." (quoteth me)

Meaning that everyone can dance (and should), regardless of age, gender, size, ability. When we say the dance is accessible to all, that's really what it is - dance is an amazing part of the human experience. But taking it to a performance level, particularly in a professional capacity, is not for everyone and we shouldn't expect it to be. And there's nothing wrong with that. You don't have to professionally perform dance in order to enjoy it and share it.

Dance to love to live.

Masking a Master vs. Making One

2010-08-26T12:57:00.000-07:00

My "Elvis Impersonator" metaphor sparked much discussion on facebook, as well as off, and sparked several good questions/comments from friends and students.

One good point that was brought up is that we learn by copying. This is very true. We start out mimicking our teachers, often trying to get the look of the moves down, their expression, their costuming. We learn by doing what they're doing. We see great bellydancers and we wish to also capture that essence of them, to look and be like them. This is not an uncommon desire in the least. But we'll come back to this.

It is not unusual in the visual and performing arts for students to copy the works of masters. Several times throughout my training as a visual artist there were assignments we had to try and copy the work of a master. Some of them involved copying the work as closely as possible, in the same medium. Some involved making a copy and then an interpretation. One of my favorites was for Freshman Foundation at RISD where we copied only a section of a master (mine was Van Gogh's "Cafe Terrace at Night"), but we had to do it entirely in gouache (a type of opaque watercolor paint that is designed for the masochistic), and crop the section in such a way that it was still interesting and meaningful. What these exercises teach us is not to paint or draw exactly like the masters, but to teach us about the technique used, how color was applied and balance, how texture was created, how a focal point was achieved. Essentially, it teaches us the skills involved in how to put together a viable work of art. But once the skills are established, the artist is expected to use them to develop their own work, their own voice - not to use those skills to turn out more copies of another artist's work. And it's important to note, the copied "practice" artwork is NOT exhibited at a professional level.*

So what does that have to do with bellydance? Simply put, if you wish to put yourself out there as an artist and specifically a professional**, you need to have your own voice. Yes, you are going to learn styles and moves from your teachers, but you are NOT your teacher. You do not have her (or his) experiences, life, inspirations. You are YOU. You have your own experiences and life to live, and inspirations to find. Those moves and those songs need to be told in your voice. This is the only way to really develop your own style. And if you wish to teach workshops and get out there, it's best to do it with your own material. Likewise, if you're going to dance in big shows and put yourself out there, why not be known for your own dancing? You're not going to find the answers all at once, but if you set your sights beyond that dancer you idolize, you'll find a much more satisfying experience. You'll find you.

And it's not going to happen overnight either, it's an ongoing journey. Who I was as a dancer and a person 10 years, 5 years, or even 2 years ago is not the same person and dancer writing this blog at this moment, and I expect to continue to grow and change in 2, 5, 10, 30 years.

*there are artists out there using the methods of masters or copies of masters paintings to make a name for themselves, but these works are often created with a twist on the original, or some sort of modern commentary - again, the artist is adding their own voice to the piece.

**now if someone has no plans whatsoever to become a professional dancer, but rather just want to learn dance, do it as a hobby for fun, etc - then they would be on a different path. Not everyone needs (or should be) to be a professional dancer or an artist.

Essence of Bellydance - so I remember... (reposted from 2/10/09)

2010-08-24T09:30:00.000-07:00

(another entry originally posted on tribe.net, February 10th, 2009)

Ah, that nearly decade-old question of is GBD bellydance? Wrote this up as a response, and I think some parts are especially worth keeping around for later, so I save it here:

Before I ever took my first lessons in bellydance, I spent months studying it online and in books. Reading about the do's and don'ts, about the folkloric dances, reading interviews with Morocco, Carolena, Artemis, and more. And I distinctly remembering at some point coming across Dalia Carella and her "Dunyavi Gypsy" and thinking - wow, she has her OWN style of bellydance, how cool is that? I would love to do that!

That all went out the window once I started taking lessons, I couldn't even imagine how it would be possible, not for years and years and even then! So I never created my performances with that in mind, rather I just had ideas I wanted to express in my dancing, through my costuming, music, and presentation. I didn't consider it a specific type of bellydance - just bellydance, as that was the only dance form I had ever studied. Rather, it was after doing bellydance for a couple of years that other people remarked about how my dancing had a different feel. It seemed somewhat more "dark", more theatrical, perhaps Gothic? ( All this without the aid of fangs, fake blood, giant rosaries, and graveyards! This was even before boots and fishnets were applied!) So ironically, it was the bellydance community itself, its veteran crew, that dubbed what I was doing as "gothic bellydance", long before it became a common name.

What was so "dark" about those early performances? The costuming could be best described as tribaret, the movements were bellydance, the music was mostly bellydance. The stories in my head to remember the moves and to express something through my moves were about avenging angels, silent film stars, lost love, folkloric/ethnic myths and fairytales, metamorphosis, tongue-in-cheek wickedness, hidden beauty, and the merging of cultures. If you consider all of that "dark", then there you have it.

To me, "darkness" is about revelation, uncovering and exploring mysteries, weaving stories that are often hidden, enchantment, and particles of memory. It's about the ability to express your soul fully, even if that leaves you exposed. I believe that bellydance, in it's myriad forms, celebrates life, and that a celebration of life takes hold of all of its aspects - that includes joy, passion, love, pain, and sadness. Love can be light and it can be dark. You really can't have one without the other. So perhaps Goth can be defined as the obsession to find balance between the light and the dark, and appreciate the differences between them. There is beauty to be found in all things, if you know how to look for it. And frankly, I'm a hopeless optimist in most things.

No, I'm not a "stereotypical" Goth, but frankly, none of the people I know who have identified themselves as Goth for years fit the stereotype either. The folks who focus only on the fashion don't have a clue. Same goes for the folks who think if they latch on to a cliche (heh, wanna start a thread on the cliches of GBD?), that means they're doing it right. There's doing something because it would be terribly cliche and a lot of fun and silliness, and then there's doing a cliche seriously because you don't understand what's behind it. There's a wealth of art, literature, and music produced by this subculture, which within itself is quite diverse, full of different minds. That's why I love it.

Now that years have gone by, I think I have been able to develop my own style, because I let go of the idea of trying to do it. I just focused on expressing what inspires me. And I'm excited to go back and re-do some of those early pieces, because I've also realized I traveled far as a dancer (and continue so). One of the greatest frustrations of being an artist is having an idea and not being fully capable of expressing that idea - whether it's because of your skill level, money or depth of exploration. But that doesn't mean you cease to try, or that those early attempts were wrong. Rather, it's the process of trying again and again, building better technique, stronger awareness, getting all of those skills together...and while I feel I'm much better now than I was 6 years or even 6 months ago, I'll still continue to strive to improve. I continue to study the older forms of this dance and find inspiration. I feel what I do is bellydance, and I believe the essence of what is bellydance is still there, depending on the project. Whether others consider a piece bellydance or not, I suppose that all depends on their own journey to it.

Under the Eyeliner (originally posted 1/20/09)

2010-08-24T09:25:00.000-07:00

(originally posted on January 20th 2009, in my tribe.net blog)

Some dancers want to create a romantic aura about themselves, veiled in mystery and illusions of grandeur. Only ever to be seen in full make-up, dressed to the nines to their adoring fans. Everything is a performance, and rarely do you see what’s underneath the mask. I’ve seen people create the most amazing opinions of people without ever knowing what’s actually going on.

Me? I want you to know that I am a dork. And a geek. And a class-A klutz. I just like to think I clean up well. And I’m totally cool with people knowing that. Because that’s who I am, miss-wiring and all, why try to hide it? Of course, not everything is on the surface for all to see, and I often forget that not everyone lives in my head.

Some people think I have some sort of complex, trying to create rules for Gothic Bellydance. (Technically, they’re more like guidelines). Other people don’t think I stand up enough for what I’ve done. (I’m really a bit shy.)

Essentially, the reason for my writings comes down to this: I’m a Gemini. I’m ruled by Mercury, planet/god of communication, with my moon in Virgo (lists! details!) and Sagittarius rising (enthusiasm!). Which essentially means: I’m obsessed with learning, sharing, and exchanging knowledge and information. Bonus points if it comes with shiny bits. I don’t do it to be a know-it-all, to claim to be an authority of everything, or to make it seem I think I’m perfect. Far from it. I do it because I’ve done stupid things. A lot of them. And I’d like to think I know better now, but I’m pretty sure there are more stupid things to come. I’m actually at peace with that. It truly is inevitable. But I want to do what I can to help out my students and anyone else who wants to read/listen. To share my experiences, and help forge a better path with less pitfalls, better habits, and hopefully make things easier for other dancers, while bettering our art in the long run.

I think in discussing etiquette for Gothic Bellydancers, there’s something everyone can take away. Professionals, hobbyists, students, artists, everyone. Meaning, whether you do this with the intention of presenting yourself as a professional, or whether you’re just jamming in class or your bedroom – there’s no reason why you shouldn’t have the best experience possible. Some people will be oblivious, regardless of their intent, but I have to believe that whether someone considers themselves a pro or a hobbyist, they want to contribute to the art in the best way they can – not only for the art, but for themselves.

The secret to being a good dancer is not an illusive mystery, wrapped up and hidden. It’s about being direct, forward, and honest with yourself and others. It’s about being truthful to ourselves, mindful of our mistakes, and still willing to challenge ourselves and make changes as needed. Dance isn’t just about movement and music, it takes thought, it takes the whole body and mind to create art. Don’t be afraid to make a mess, but also don’t be afraid to lay down a tarp and have some paper towels handy before you start.

Roots & Shoots: The Almighty Tree of Style

2010-08-23T08:40:00.000-07:00

I see a lot of people - students as well as pro's, struggling with their identity and classification as dancers regarding style. They feel that they must choose one specific path, that they can only be this or that. And if they're this now, then they must revoke all associations with that. Almost like becoming a new religion - finding Jesus, Buddha, or Bob, and all other paths are wrong.

But I'm here to say, it doesn't have to be that way. Today I bring you the good news from the Gospel of the Almighty Tree of Style!

What is the Almighty Tree of Style? Well, it's the concept (theory, belief, idea) that a tree starts as a seed. And when that seed lands in a spot that's right for it, it puts down roots, and sends up shoots - because it needs both to live. The roots provide stability, strength, they collect sustenance from the earth, and support the shoots above. The shoots expand to help collect water, sunlight, and create power for the tree. They create fertile spots where the essence of this tree can merge with the essence of another tree, and create seeds for more trees. And both the roots and the shoots grow in tandem, in balance with each other, sometimes paralleling growth patterns, sometimes counter-balancing them. If one exceeds the other, the tree is in jeopardy of failing - too many shoots vs. roots and it will fall and too many roots vs. shoots, it can't grow and thrive and produce.

So what does it mean and especially what the heck does it have to do with bellydance? Bellydance has roots - the traditions that originated "over there" - folkloric traditions, performance traditions - Turkey, Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Persia, Morocco, etc. And both "over there" and elsewhere around the world, it has sent up shoots: American Cabaret/Vintage Oriental, Modern Egyptian, American Tribal Style, and other "Fusion" styles, as well as shoots working in earnest to pattern the roots. The roots are the traditions, the shoots are the innovations, growing from the traditions and creating new life, yet also bringing energy back to the traditions. And in some cases a shoot merges with the fruit of another tree, and they make a new seed that may grow into a new tree, but the fact is, it still comes from the original trees. They all exist in the same forest, and tradition and innovation need each other to thrive.

You still following me?

Now, let's consider YOU as a tree. Your roots are where you come from, your shoots are where you are going. You can pay homage to your roots at any time, and you can expand your shoots in new directions if you wish. Your experiences will sculpt how you grow and change over time, which is what really identifies you as a dancer - as a whole.

So if you dearly love a traditional style and you love a fusion style, there's no reason why you can't perform both. You want to do Classic Egyptian and you want to do Gothic too? Go for it! Tunisian this week, and Tribal Fusion next week? Sure! Just as long as you take the time to honor both (or several) directions (i.e, study them, practice them, and understand them - aka watering, feeding, and processing in our tree metaphor), then you can do it! And to be perfectly clear, I'm not saying you have to go and fuse them, I'm saying there's no reason why, if you have done your work, why you can't perform several styles individually. What's that? People expect you to only do X or Y? Why are you wasting time worrying about other people's expectations of what you should or shouldn't be. This is YOUR dance journey! You're allowed to grow and change, and you're allowed to be out of the box if you want to, and being as close to tradition as you can possibly get. (Just as long as you don't belt out something unexpected like if you were HIRED to perform X, and then you bring out Y instead - that's a whole other issue...)

Just take the time to grow properly and nurture yourself, keeping balance with your roots and shoots. Enjoy the journey.

From Spring Caravan 2010: Metropolis & Live Music

2010-08-12T18:25:00.000-07:00

Had tried to upload this shortly after the event, but it was just a little over the youtube time limit, and I never got around to editing it into two pieces, but now they changed their limits!

It's such a pleasure to dance to live music, and I especially enjoyed doing live improv with Nathaniel again. Nathaniel is an extremely talented musician and a really great guy, and if you're familiar with Abney Park, you've heard him! The first time we performed together was at Gothla US, and that was a very magical evening as well:

Both videos were shot by Rob of Candlelight Productions - you can also find the first part of that performance under my meddevi account. Music for the "Metropolis" piece is by Kozai Resonance, mixed a bit by my husband Keith.

Elvis Has Left The Building. So Get Your Own Dance.

2010-08-09T12:43:00.000-07:00

Today's thought: "Being a clone dancer is like being an Elvis impersonator. Yeap, they're popular by association/familiarity, but they're not going to be known for performing their own work."

"What is Community?"

2010-08-08T10:58:00.000-07:00

(This article originally appeared in the September/October 2009 issue of Belly Dance New England.)
I talk a lot about the “bellydance community” with my students, in workshops, online, and so on. Depending on the situation, the term “community” may refer to the global one, a regional one, or a stylistically-based one. But what does it mean to be a part of a belly dance community? What is its purpose?

I have also said, on several occasions, that I don’t believe in a “sisterhood of the dance.” Actually, I still don’t, but that doesn’t mean at one time I did. And I firmly believe that the “bellydance community” and (the fabled) “sisterhood of the dance” are two very different entities, and I think it is very important that we all understand this difference.

Read the rest of the article at http://bellydancenewengland.com/features/?p=19

GBD & Etiquette Part III: Plague-rism (originally posted 1/12/09)

2010-08-05T11:29:00.000-07:00

We’ve covered a bit about intellectual property with choreography and presentations in the first GBD Etiquette article. Now we’re going to examine some other areas concerning intellectual property.

At dinner with friends the other week, one made the comment along the lines of “I don’t know how you put up with people copying your designs.” At that moment (and into my second glass of wine), I said, “There gets to be a point where it doesn’t bother you so much, but every once and while, it builds up 3-4 instances colliding at once, and I have to confess, it makes me want to fly off the handle, then I get over it and move on. You can copy me, but you can never BE me.”

And then a few days later, I alerted to a piece of writing that was so much taken directly from the Gothic Bellydance Resource, that if you highlighted the text originating from the Resource, there would have been very little text left. The kicker was, nowhere was the website credited, AND the author had the nerve to tell others to make sure to credit HER if they use it.

At first, I was just blown away by the blatant audacity and disrespect. And then I got to thinking about what to do about it.

I realized that the one big thing my RISD training did not impart upon me was dealing with theft of work. While there were business classes for artists and discussion of copyright (how much you can change an idea legally), nowhere was it discussed what to do if someone copies your work, your intellectual property. And I won’t even go into the lack of action regarding stolen supplies and damage to work. Perhaps they assumed that since many RISD students come from well-off families, we’d just hire the family lawyer to take care of it? Real practical thinking there, especially for folks attending on scholarship and loans up the wazoo. I’ll add a lawyer to my list of things to have when I’m independently wealthy.

So I could blame RISD, but that’s not exactly responsible behavior either. It’s really a twofold personal issue. One, my natural default is “nice, easy-going, relaxed individual who earnestly believe that all people want to be good to others.” Yeah, a bit naive, but at 30 years, it doesn’t look like I’m about to outgrow this anytime soon, even if it means I’ve got more abuse coming one way or another. And two, I really don’t have the time and energy to waste tracking down every infraction of copyright and plagiarism.

Then I realized, something in the depths of my education did give me tools dealing with plagiarism. No, it wasn’t at RISD. It was my exceptional AP English teachers in high school who taught us the correct way to write essays and article while quoting sources. And these teachers really were phenomenal, and I wish everyone could have had them in high school.

So rather than write this particular plagiarist personally, I thought I would help the greater situation by educating. I’m just not the kind of person to out the individual and post the offending work either, but I also have no doubt that they are also a member of this tribe, and perhaps this will get through to you, while helping out other people. Because the issue doesn’t just reside in the lifting website content by one person, because others have also done it, plus issues of swiping workshop titles and descriptions, workshop content, and other similar behaviors that in the long run don’t do anyone any good. And I believe a lot of it comes because people just don’t know any better.

First, there’s a wonderful website that everyone should take a few moments to investigate: www.plagiarism.org/

And I shall quote here, directly from their website: What is Plagiarism, located at http://www.plagiarism.org/learning…rism.html

“Many people think of plagiarism as copying another’s work, or borrowing someone else’s original ideas. But terms like “copying” and “borrowing” can disguise the seriousness of the offense:

According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, to “plagiarize” means

1. to steal and pass off (the ideas or words of another) as one’s own

2. to use (another’s production) without crediting the source

3. to commit literary theft

4. to present as new and original an idea or product derived from an existing source.

In other words, plagiarism is an act of fraud. It involves both stealing someone else’s work and lying about it afterward.

But can words and ideas really be stolen?

According to U.S. law, the answer is yes. The expression of original ideas is considered intellectual property, and is protected by copyright laws, just like original inventions. Almost all forms of expression fall under copyright protection as long as they are recorded in some way (such as a book or a computer file).

All of the following are considered plagiarism:

* turning in someone else’s work as your own

* copying words or ideas from someone else without giving credit

* failing to put a quotation in quotation marks

* giving incorrect information about the source of a quotation

* changing words but copying the sentence structure of a source without giving credit

* copying so many words or ideas from a source that it makes up the majority of your work, whether you give credit or not (see our section on “fair use” rules)

Most cases of plagiarism can be avoided, however, by citing sources. Simply acknowledging that certain material has been borrowed, and providing your audience with the information necessary to find that source, is usually enough to prevent plagiarism. See our section on citation for more information on how to cite sources properly.”

* * *

From their section of types of plagiarism (http://www.plagiarism.org/plag_article_types_of_plagiarism.html ) I think most offenders in the dance community fall into the following:

“The Potluck Paper”

The writer tries to disguise plagiarism by copying from several different sources, tweaking the sentences to make them fit together while retaining most of the original phrasing.

and

“The Poor Disguise”

Although the writer has retained the essential content of the source, he or she has altered the paper’s appearance slightly by changing key words and phrases.

Meaning, if I can clearly identify MY work in yours, even if you’ve added a few phrases and switched the adjectives around, it’s still plagiarism if you don’t credit the source.

So what does this have to do with bellydance, and specifically Gothic Bellydance? Well, I’ve seen plenty of infractions in both communities, and I feel it’s my job to help us (that wish to be) be as professional as possible.

That means,

- if you use material from a website that is not your own, whether it’s on your own site, in a class, in a flyer, in an article, in a workshop, etc – you need to use quotation marks and cite your site. CITE YOUR SITE! (that’s easy to remember) It’s always a good idea to ask the source if you can get ahold of them, but don’t use that as an excuse not to cite the source!

- if you’re not ready to write your own unique description and title for your workshop, then you might not be ready to teach it. Because if the material within the workshop is all of your own, then you should have no problem writing a description for it. Yes, at some point, the basics of a description sound the same, but it should have your own voice and concept.

- if you use a move or exercise in a class or workshop from someone else, you owe it not only to that person, but to your students as well to tell them where it came from. You may think that showing your source makes you appear weak, but it actually makes you stronger, because eventually, they (students or the individual the material came from) will find out. Why not be upfront about it? You should be! Even if it’s a little thing, students enjoy hearing where things come from, and it makes them more well-rounded. In fact, they’ll learn from your behavior and credit YOU when they go on to teach.

I could go on, but this is already pretty long. Essentially, if you want to make a name for yourself in the dance community, if you want to earn respect and kudos, then you need to be honest to yourself, honest to your students, and honest to the people who have inspired you. Respect them, and you in turn will earn respect.

GBD & Etiquette II: Looking In from the Outside (originally posted on 12/22/08)

2010-08-05T11:25:00.002-07:00

Time for another one of those discussions to get our brains unfrozen and thinking. Folks have been proposing some more topics to fit under this category (keep ‘em coming too!), and several were related, so I figured I would lump ‘em together in one related area: Gothic Bellydancers and Their Behavior.

If you’ve been around the bellydance community long enough (maybe 4-6 years?), you would most likely know about the inner battles about decorum and behavior of bellydancers – what to do/not to do at a gig, how to behave appropriately, and all of the wagging of tongues over behavior that gives bellydancers a bad name in public venues (like lap dances, cheap slutty costumes, accepting tips in certain areas, etc). Nobody wants to be a “belly bunny”. No matter what country or area you’re in, it comes down to one bottom line: proper behavior earns respect.

Being that we’re already out there and have to work twice as hard to be recognized and respected for what we’re doing, it’s of the utmost importance to keep in mind for ourselves and our students proper behavior that will earn the genre more respect versus the “well, what else would you expect from a bunch of ‘goth’ bellydancers?”

So, I’ve taken a few of the questions and made some points a la Miss Manners – please feel free to add more or ask more!

**Protocol for Goth Clubs**

One of the questions I got was, if you’re performing at a Goth Club, is it OK to go out in your costume afterward and join the party? Well, let’s think of it in another way – if you were paid to perform at a restaurant, after your set would you go out and eat in your full costume next to the customers? The correct answer is NO. Not only can you get food stains on your costume – but it ruins the illusion for the paying audience. Same thing goes for a club – do you really want to get your costume even more sweaty and covered in drinks? And more importantly, it takes away from the specialness of your performance. Go, change, then come back if you want to party. Personally for ease, I may plan something into my costume that’s easily converted with some other items for basic clubwear, like a skirt or pants – cause we all know how fun it tends to be to get changed at a club.

**Taking Goth to the Mundanes**

This is for those times when you may have been asked to do a Gothic piece in a venue that is more traditional or non-goth – whether it’s a showcase of styles in a staged show, or at a Middle Eastern restaurant. These are the times when it’s so important to be on your BEST behavior, whether you’re a local to the scene or a visitor. The traditional community is watching – especially if they invited you – and it’s so important to rein it in and be respectful of the host and the venue. Just because something is OK when it’s done at a Goth Club (whether on stage or on the floor), does NOT mean it’s proper behavior for a Middle Eastern restaurant. What’s the point? Shock value really has little value in the long run, and only comes off as disrespectful, NOT cutting-edge. Unless a certain piece has been specifically asked for by your host and will be properly introduced, don’t use this time to whip out your most hardcore piece. Bring a cover-up, have your music properly labeled, be a good audience member, arrive on time, be courteous to the other dancers. Otherwise, in the long (and short) run, you’re not only hurting yourself, but damaging the larger GBD community in general. It is important to show that GBD *IS* bellydance, that we’re respectful of our roots, and are professional through and through. Save the rabble-rousing for Denny’s at 3am.

GBD & Etiquette: Part I (originally posted on 11/21/08)

2010-08-05T11:25:00.000-07:00

For quite a while now, I’ve been writing this ever-growing article in my head, about what NOT to do as a bellydancer. I keep coming across things that make me go “ok, make a note of that and add it to the list.” I could probably write a book on it, but I’ve already got a list of books to write, so I thought to myself (while in the shower of course), let’s start an ongoing thread, and add things to it weekly.

Now, none of us come to the realm of bellydance Apropos Athenas – that is born fully formed and armed with the knowledge of everything we should and should not do. It takes experience to (hopefully) learn what’s kosher and what’s just not cool – either by trial and error, or through teacher/peer guidance, and mostly a bit of both. Teachers don’t set guidelines for their students just to be bitches, it’s because they’ve been there, made the mistakes, and don’t want to see others go through the trauma. So many people have told me, “if I had only known then when I know now.” Well, nothing beats experiencing it for yourself, but having some guidance to help you avoid the major bumps and faux-paus doesn’t hurt either. I was very lucky to have extremely experienced teachers who shared their trials and tribulations AND did not hesitate to point out where or when I had erred and how to avoid it again. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of inexperienced teachers out there passing on bad habits, not correcting or guiding students, and dancers who just start out way too early out of the nest, despite what their teachers say. So hopefully this growing collection will help out everyone.

Because as I’ve said many times in the past, just because we’re doing a fusion art form, it doesn’t mean we can get away with murder. It doesn’t mean we can do anything we want anytime and ignore all of the rules. (It generally helps to KNOW the rules before you deviate from them or break them). If you want to be respected as a fusion artist both in the bellydance community, AND in the larger arts community, you have to behave and act with class and savvy – and it’s even MORE important because you are doing something different.

So here goes:

Technically, these will be in no particular order, so as I number them, it’s arbitrary. And if you have an issue or question about etiquette in your community, don’t hesitate to msg or email me about it, maybe we can address it here.

#1 – Understand the Pond & Respect It, Credit It.

There are essentially four ponds in our existence. There is your local bellydance community, there is the larger bellydance community in your country and abroad, there is the GBD community (which overlaps both), and then the general community. The first three are never as large as you may think it is, especially the local. If you take your teacher’s/another dancer’s choreography and perform it at a local show without permission or credit, people are going to know. It make take a little while, but sooner or later, everyone will know. And YOU will be the pariah, not the person you copied without credit, no matter how many excuses you can come up with. Step a little further outside of your community, and I guarantee, it doesn’t take long for word to spread in the GBD community (which is technically somewhat small and very connected) – and especially if gets posted on youtube, can be talked about on tribe or myspace, or anywhere else. So if you take a choreography from a workshop instructor, and don’t credit who created it in your youtube, you’re not doing yourself a service either. Other people will know. There’s no harm in truth in advertising, but there is a lot of harm in not giving credit. If you’re a copier, and not a creator, then it doesn’t help you grow as an artist/dancer, it doesn’t expand your capabilities, and it doesn’t help your client base, because eventually they will find out, especially if they see the original – which definitely can happen in the local community.

If you have a question about whether something can be used or not, ASK the dancer/teacher if it’s OK, or how they wish to be credited. If you’re NOT on good terms with them anymore, then DON’T use it. Communication is vital – it’s really not cool to do it first, then apologize later. The damage is done by then.

So: be true to yourself, be true to your teachers, and respect the flow of both the local and larger communities. It can only help you in the long run.

Addition: It’s pretty common knowledge that the Muses are sluts. They whisper in ears very far apart at the same time, and have for centuries upon centuries. But I think it’s the people who aren’t crediting work when they KNOWINGLY are taking it that are causing the Muse coincidences trust issues.

I think all artists who don’t live in closets will have the issue of the common muse – you either select another idea, or work hard to make your own twist on the concept so that it IS uniquely you (and yes, even I have a list of ideas and concepts that had to go either way). Actually, in all things, I stress that dancers work on finding their own voice – I promise it will show. There’s far too much “direct inspiration” out there – even if you deeply admire someone’s work, where’s the joy in working to dance exactly like them? What do YOU have to say with the dance – both visually and mentally.

“Divatude” (originally posted on 8/12/08)

2010-08-05T11:24:00.000-07:00

One of my new writings…it goes for any style or area within bellydance, but just as appropriate for our developing style:

When I think back to all of the teachers I’ve studied with – for regular classes as well for workshops, the ones I’ve returned to again and again all have something in common, despite being different in style, age, gender, experience, or location. I found that I was drawn to them not only because I felt the teaching was strong and improved my understanding of the dance as a whole as well as what it meant for me, on my body – but I truly enjoyed who they were/are as people, and that enriched the experience all the more.

I like to think that I offer the same opportunity to my students – they are not only exposed to the history of bellydance, its styles, movements, and diversity, but get to see who I am as a human being. Which includes all of my little quirks – I can be serious, and I can be a (lot) tad silly. I can be very eloquent and deep, and I can call my ankle an elbow if it’s been one of those days. I talk with my hands…a lot. You pretty much get the picture.

Recently on my journeys, a friend told me the story of someone in her community and that person’s experience upon meeting a famous bellydancer. This person had been actually upset and disappointed that the famous dancer was friendly and interacted with everyone, not just a select few community elite. That surely, such a great dancer would have been far more reserved and selective about the company she keeps. This story left me speechless. Why would someone *expect* that sort of behavior from anyone?

Shortly afterward, I saw another somewhat prominent teacher/dancer bash the quality and aptitude of the students attending her workshop at a foreign event, in a public forum, probably assuming that none of those students would read the forum if it’s in another land? Again, I was struck speechless. I have taught easily well over a hundred workshops all over the US and in Europe, and never would have I dismissed an entire group of students as not being proficient enough dancers, especially when you know they’re coming from different levels of experience and backgrounds. (In retrospect, I would more likely believe that the issue lay in the teacher and her material, rather than the ability of the students.)

And then there’s those dancers who offer a lot of lip service to the student’s face (and backside), and then switch their tune once their listening ears have left the building – especially if they find out the student has other heroes as well (thou shalt not have any other god before she!). It hurts me to see a student beaming with the praise she was given by a favorite dancer, when as soon as she was out of ear shot, eyes were rolled and/or comments contradicting the faux compliment are made. Is it better to leave the student believing what she’s been told, and basking in the nuclear glow of her idol, or break her heart with the truth?

As I mentioned, these were all recently observed experiences, and they’ve culminated into this piece exploring the state of “Divatude.” What does it mean to be a Diva? What are a Diva’s obligations to herself and her public? What does it mean to idolize a Diva? And most of all, what IS a Diva?

The Online Etymology Dictionary defines “diva” as “distinguished woman singer,” 1883, from It. diva “goddess, fine lady,” from L. diva “goddess,” fem. of divus “divine (one).”

The American Heritage Dictionary defines diva as

1. An operatic prima donna.

2. A very successful singer of nonoperatic music: a jazz diva.

[Italian, from Latin dīva, goddess, feminine of dīvus, god; see dyeu- in Indo-European roots.]

A little outdated nowadays since the term is applied to many performers outside of the opera or song realm, but it’s interesting to note the divine roots of the word, as well as the fact that you don’t see “a temperamental, high-strung bitch” among the definitions. But that’s really the most common image the term tends to bring to mind. Definitely not a good thing to a word that had such glorious roots.

As someone who has been trained as a visual arts since the age of 3, and have been exposed to all aspects of the performing arts since then, I do understand the truth behind “artists can be temperamental” – anyone who makes their living directly from their bodies in such a subjective manner (for in sports, it’s either win or lose, the same is not true with the arts), the experience can more or less make you batty. But being shallow, petty, self-centered, and self-absorbed are uncommon traits among artists, nor are they qualities to be celebrated or imitated. No matter how great the artist is.

What makes someone act like the negative Diva? Is it concern about reputation or perception? A(n overdeveloped) sense of entitlement? Some bizarre belief that by stepping on the little people, you make yourself seem greater? Just someone with a bad personality to begin with? Or maybe just a very shy person who doesn’t know how to deal with the public? And most importantly, can such behavior be fixed? Honestly, I don’t know – I’m sure every person is different, but I can think of some ways to deal with and perhaps prevent such negativity.

The truth is, our dance community is relatively small – VERY small. The internet has brought together dancers from far ends of the globe and made them next door neighbors. And while there’s plenty of room to celebrate great dance, there’s not a lot of room for monstrous egos – it damages not only the artist, but all levels of the community, from the event sponsor to the student.

From the ground up:

For the students: draw your inspiration from as many dancers as your eyes will let you take in. Very early on my dance journey, I was told, “you can learn something from every dancer – that means both the good and not-so-good ones” and that’s true both dancers as they’re performing and who they are in the classroom and backstage. The best teacher will not only help you grow as a dancer, but their spirit and integrity should inspire you as well. Just like your parents, your dance idols aren’t perfect. They make mistakes, they don’t live in a perfect glass bubble, and they put their flared pants on the same way you do, one sore leg at a time. They’re just at a different part in their journey than you. That doesn’t make them a better person than you, it just makes them different. Remember that, and know it’s wonderful to be the student, no matter where you’re at. The best teachers keep on learning well after they’re established.

For the sponsors: how much is stress and hassle worth? If that one name diva costs you twice the cost of two good dance instructors, and four times the mental drama, does that really balance out in the end? Communities grow through exposure, and prosperity can come just as much as from diversity, as the standard. Eventually, a negative diva will wear herself out, though not before she wears out a string of sponsors and disenchants students from compromising behavior. The economy is tough, but a good sponsor can get the best of both worlds and educate their community in the process.

For the dancer/teacher/performer – professional behavior doesn’t equate to being a bitch. It means being reliable, considerate, comprehensive in thought, and gracious under stress and respectful of your students, colleagues, and sponsors. In the end, you’ll get more respect in the community and career longevity through cultivating these traits, in addition to the skillful practice of your art – than being a negative diva. If you treat yourself and others honorable at all points in your dance journey, it shall be returned to you. That is what makes a true Diva – a distinguished lady with a dash of divineness.

“Honor Thyself” (originally posted 3/31/08)

2010-08-05T11:22:00.001-07:00

This discourse isn’t so much directly related to Gothic Bellydance has it has to do with body image and respect, and particularly young women.

I’d like to think of myself as a somewhat balanced person when it comes to sex, sexuality, and the human body. My parents weren’t exactly hippies, but they have always been far from being tight-laced/conservative in general. Our house was full of art books depicting the greatest collections of art from museums all over the world (i.e. lots of global nudes). The Playboy magazines weren’t hidden (quite easily accessible in my parents’ bathroom), and my mom was never weird about getting changed in front of me at any age. I never got in trouble for drawing nudes (at least from my parents, at school, it was another matter…somewhere around 5th or 6th grade, I draw the backsides of a boy and girl in transparent gowns to show purity for some religious exercise we were doing, and that caused a small ruckus…). I do remember when I was about 7 or 8, popping in “Flashdance” in the VCR one morning, and my parents deciding that wasn’t appropriate for me to be watching by myself, but it’s not like I understood what was going on, I just wanted to see the dancing! Basically, I emerged from my upbringing with a healthy respect for the human body, both male and female, and no bias towards sexual preference/orientation. I have no issues with strippers, I love GOOD burlesque, and think the female body is just magnificent in all shapes and sizes.

So with that stated, I recently witnessed something that made me question the state of our society, and feel somewhat ashamed to be a woman, for lack of a better description. Now, there have been plenty of times while listening to NPR, reading the paper, seeing the news on TV that I’ve felt ashamed of being HUMAN, for what we do this planet and other people, but to feel distress as a woman is not a familiar situation for me. Ok, maybe that’s a tad melodramatic, but I AM a Goth, I’m allowed that.

Recently I attended an alternative modeling contest. It was the first time I attended this particular event, and was picturing something more akin to the model competitions we see on TV, but for Goths. I have witnessed several Gothic fashion shows, and often marveled at the beautiful diversity of the models, and when I walked into the venue to set-up for vending, I was met with a sea of beautiful freaks – all sorts of different colored hair, tattoos, piercings, all different and wonderful. It was a lovely sight to behold. It made me super excited for the evening’s events – I’m a huge people-watcher – I LOVE studying people, how they dress and carry themselves and interact with each other. Gothic-anthropology perhaps?

The competition was set up boys and girls – meaning each gender had it’s own category. The contestants were given a top from one of the sponsors to alter as they wish, as long as the logo was intact. There was somewhat of a slut factor involved in the presentation of some of the girls, but I didn’t think much of it. Short micro-mini’s are rampant (or were, they seem to be going out from the latest batch of Gothic trends), but it was mainly a lot of boob gesturing, but hey, if you got ‘em, flaunt ‘em right? The boys were more tame in general. Both groups seem rather inexperienced with the concept of modeling, especially with walking, but hey, competitions can be nerve-wracking right?

The second round for the ladies (I’m not sure what the guys were doing in the second round) was to model corsets provided by the sponsors. A few of the girls came out with not much more than the corset on, but I chalked this up to not being prepared (as some girls knew about it, some were wild cards and didn’t know if they were going to be in the next round), and being cheeky and spontaneous to make up for the lack of more clothing. I made an emergency bustle out of 3 yards of glittery bat fabric and safety pins for one of these gals, and she looked elegant and lovely.

The third round was freestyle – the model’s own choosing and to really show off their stuff. It was here that my brain had nothing short of a minor meltdown. Out of perhaps 20 girls, no more than 3 didn’t do something akin to stripper routine, and even then, they were borderline. Again, I don’t have anything against strippers, and I love burlesque, but this wasn’t burlesque, and I’m sure better strip shows could be had at the Foxy Lady’s “Legs & Eggs” morning strip events. (New Englanders everywhere just cringed massively.) Apparently “crowd reaction” was a judging category for this round, and the great majority figured that the best way to do this was to strip. After the first few, it was “oh look, another set of boobs and pasties” again and again. I was surrounded by male colleagues and they weren’t impressed in the least (and yes, they were mostly straight). I wondered what the boys would do…

The boy’s third round was a much different story. Yeap, there were a few strip routines in there, but the majority of them danced and really showed off their moves, their agility, and their PERSONALITY…mainly, it was a reversal of the girls’ round.

In the realm of my brain, it struck me that something was terribly wrong. Why did these girls think that the best way to show themselves was to strip? Someone said that a lot of them WERE strippers, but I highly doubted that, unless maybe I just expect there to be a lot more talent involved, or at least better stage presence. Maybe I’m just getting old, but it worries me greatly that girls who are 10-15 years my junior (and come on, I ain’t THAT old) automatically reduce themselves to objects. I know modeling often involves nudity, but this didn’t have anything to do with the artful display of the human body and it’s wondrous nature. It lacked introspection and depth, it lacked a sense of personal identity. It wasn’t sensual or even really sexy. It was very painful to witness. It was a prime example of “Less isn’t More, it’s Less.”

In the end, the winners were the ones who showed personality and really showed off the clothes in how they presented themselves (and for the most part, kept their clothes on.)

I know there’s tons of debate about bellydance and stripping, and the infuriation of the two being confused, then add Burlesque to the mix, and you’ve got a whole other can of worms. Really, that’s the least of my worries. I find that the majority of people who confuse the two REALLY are essentially ignorant in general about the human body and sexuality. No matter what we’re up there doing and how we present ourselves, there will always be a moron who thinks otherwise.

My concern is for our next generation of girls and what they think of themselves and their bodies. It’s like society went from being prudes to teaching absolute violation of the body (while simultaneously punishing both extremes). I don’t think it’s about being open and forthright about sex, I think it’s about a lack of self-respect and true understanding about the beauty, power, and mystery of our bodies.

I really wanted to go backstage and talk to these girls and see what was in their heads. And share secrets with them: that if you show less, you say more about who you are as a person, and create a story. We really don’t want to see it all, we’re happier to allow our imaginations ponder what’s hiding. That true beauty doesn’t come from the exposure of skin, but the careful exposure of the self. And for others to really see that, you need to begin with honoring yourself, body and soul.

We All “Pay To Play” (originally posted on 3/18/08)

2010-08-05T11:21:00.001-07:00

It doesn’t matter where you are in this community, we all “pay to play” and I’m sick of the phrase being used as a means to be a snide ass and downgrade events for any number of excuses.

From the student to the teacher, the vendor to the event producer, we all invest money for our art, there’s nothing free about what we do, whether we do it as professionals or hobbyists, for enjoyment, for profit.

A growing number of events *across the world* stipulate that in order to perform at an event, those who actively participate in the event, whether by taking workshops, vending, or volunteering, get first dibs at the performance slots. Why? Because those people are *actively* investing in the event – and not just monetarily. Why is this an issue? Because a LARGE amount of people see the event solely as a opportunity for them to dance. Not to learn something new, or network with others, but as a possible “free” means to showcase their asses on stage. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a hafla or major festival, there are always those people who show up just in time to dance and then leave as soon as they’re done. For a very small percentage, there’s a good reason – family commitment, another gig that just showed up, etc….but besides that VERY small percentage, there’s no good excuse.

If you’re going to spend X amount of dollars to drive to someplace to dance for free, and claim you have lots of other paying gigs you have to attend, so you can’t take a workshop or watch anyone else, then perhaps you shouldn’t be dancing at the event in the first place. You really want to make a name for yourself in the community? Take an ACTIVE part. Watch other dancers performing. Take a workshop—the best dancers, those who have been dancing for decades, they STILL take workshops…if you think you’re too good to take a workshop, especially when you have 10-50 to chose from, then there’s no loss in your absence on the stage. If you don’t have $30 to spend on a workshop, then you certainly don’t have $30 in gas to get there, or $100 to spend on jewelry or pants. Yet, I’m amazed when I see people who harp incessantly about how broke they are, they can’t take a workshop, and then I see them uploading big bucks on costuming at the event.

I love the shinies myself, but no amount of shinies can replace knowledge. A single move or a new twist or thought process that can be added to your vocabulary, that improves and enhances your performance will last you much longer than a pair of pants or a pair of earrings.

Last year, I heard from several mouths that they didn’t even bother taking the workshop they had signed up for, they just wanted to dance. (In one or two of those instances, the individuals bought a workshop they knew they couldn’t attend, in support of that instructor, which is a nice sentiment, and I understand it, but the rest…) I don’t even have words for that. Just cringing.

Money is not an excuse if you’re an active dancer who wants to perform. Regardless of your budget. There’s always something to be done at a festival.

And if you have some sort of concept that event producers are just making money hand over first at events at your expense, that tells me you’ve never held a real event ever.

A large event venue, depending on where it is costs several thousand dollars to rent for a single whole day. Then there’s the lighting…because we know as dancers, we like to be seen on stage, and we want GOOD lighting, not crappy lighting that makes us look sallow and ill. That’s several hundred dollars easily. And then there’s the sound…you want your music to sound good? So that means at least 2 monitor main speakers and a subwoofer. Oh, you want to hear the music yourself on stage? Add two more monitors for the stage. You really want to hear the bass? Add another subwoofer. Plus the amps, mixer, and cd-players. Easily a 10,000 investment, and most places rent equipment out at 10-20% of the total retail cost, per day. And the guy to run it *who knows what he’s doing*.

As a vendor, I have never said, “you should let me in for free, because I’m the reason you make money.” So when I hear dancers say that for festivals line-ups, I’d like to enlighten them. As a vendor, I’m there to make money, and I understand that my investment helps pay for the space which provides the venue for the event to take place. No event, no place to vend, no money to make. It’s a communal system. We ALL contribute, from the paying attendee to the performer, vendor, teacher, and producer.

Everyone bitches about the Rakkasah call-in. But you want to dance for free and get in for free? That’s the system they use to decide who dances. And everyone bitches about the quality of dancing, etc. Did you know that people who sign up for the workshop series get a performance slot and first dibs (besides the teachers)? Most people seem to ignore that fact. Those that invest the time and money get rewarded. Sounds fair to me.

You want a better show? Then the performers are hand-picked by the producer. OR you can increase the chances of better performances by rewarding those who make the investment in the event. There’s nothing crooked about it. People who plan on performing months in advance are far more likely to put a lot more effort into their performance.

People who play an active part in an event show that they care, and these are the people who are known in the community. The majority of successful workshop leaders out there, who have been out there, and continue to be successful at it, they understand community. They foster it at home and abroad. Money isn’t the bottom line for them. We all appreciate money, and so does the electric and gas companies, and our landlords..but if we were doing it for the money alone, we wouldn’t be doing this very long. It’s our love of the dance and our commitment to it. It’s what drives us to be insane enough to hold events and try to foster community. Cause it ain’t the money.

So if you think investing in your dance career is “pay to play”, you’re right. No matter what the event is, we’re all paying in some way to be there – we pay for lessons, costuming, music, etc. All the money we invest, we get something for it – knowledge, adornment, the opportunity to perform and to grow.

If you don’t see that in any respect, then I don’t think I want to see you dance.

GBD Timeline (originally posted on 7/10/07)

2010-08-05T11:20:00.000-07:00

In somewhat relation to the “respect” thread, regarding basis in tradition and the emergence/development GBD as it’s own entity, I reflected upon the timeline of GBD *as I know it*. A lot has happened in a relatively short amount of time, which one doesn’t realize until you take a look at the dates.

I started performing in 2001 (in Rhode Island), generally creating pieces that had a dark ritual feel to them and my pieces were being promoted/associated by others as Gothic by 2003 (in California).

The Gothic Belly Dance Resource came online in 2003.

I started teaching workshops specializing in GBD in Spring 2005 (starting at Convergence 11, and shortly followed by Tribal Fest 5).

The first Gothla was held in NYC by Zan in December 2005, during the shooting of WDNY’s “GBD: The Darker Side of Fusion”, which featured my intro-to-GBD workshop, and performances by area performers, Ariellah, and myself.

“Gothic Bellydance: The Darker Side of Fusion” is released in March 2006 by World Dance New York. (performance DVD)

“Bellydance for Beautiful Freaks” is filmed in July 2006, released September 2006 by World Dance New York. (instructional DVD

“The Durga Tour” – featuring Sashi, myself, and Ariellah, brings GBD instruction and performances to 25 states over 40 days, September-October 2006.

“Bellydance Underworld” is filmed October 2006, released March 2007. (performance DVD)

“Mischief Tour” – May 2007.

“Gothla UK” occurs June 2007.

“Gothic Bellydance: Revelations” from WDNY to be released September 2007.

There’s a lot more that could be added to the list, like articles, groups, product releases, and other events. I think that the biggest surge of activity happened in 2006 in conjunction with release of the first GBD DVD…with a definite build-up of action happening toward the end of the 2005, and a continuation and build-up through this year as the artform is discovered, expanded, and built upon. There are more classes and workshops being offered all over, and I’m definitely seeing codifying development – meaning specific movements/combinations specific to GBD with their own names. And I don’t think we’re anywhere near done and finished.

We’re at a structural and conceptual crossroads of developing a recognized system, while simultaneously embracing individuality and creativeness. And there’s so much within the realm of Gothdom itself, that even that feeds into diversity and different strains. And while we’ve gained some acceptance/tolerance in the larger BD community (which was no easy task), there’s still a lot of disdain and resistance.

So, we’re at a very interesting time in our artform. We need to continue to develop structure and guidelines, but also not stifle the flame of creativity. We need to foster our own community while keeping in balance with the larger BD world, in a relationship of mutual respect. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely exciting.

There’s much more I’d like to say, but I think I’ll leave it at this for now…

“GOTHinking” (originally posted on 1/11/07)

2010-08-05T11:18:00.000-07:00

Despite the stereotypes with their focus on look, I have to say that overall Goths are a very introspective, intellectual group of individuals. Besides the numerous various subgenres of music, there is a great deal of art, literature, and design that is all intrinsic to the Gothic culture. It’s pretty amazing (and I’m sure a bit daunting to someone just on the outside, looking in) and I think what I love most about it—the grave goes deep, and there’s a lot to uncover.

Which is why there’s really so much to say, explore, and discuss about Gothic Belly Dance. We’re truly looking at a multi-faceted concept that involves an experience beyond the physical body. There’s a lot to consider that can only be processed in a combination of body and mind, because it’s not just about getting the look down. In order to grasp *the feel*, you need to understand *why*, and get the to the root of it, inside. Without that search, the rest is an empty shell.

To someone who collects styles like they collect costumes, the concept can be lost—or even worse, disregarded as unimportant details in favor of the physical. This is probably the biggest danger to the artform, because it breeds insincerity, and puts out false examples.

I came to bellydance because it visually appealed to me, and I wanted to learn a new way to move (besides hauling art and supplies up and down the hills and stairs of RISD—which I guarantee you is quite a workout in itself—RISD pretty much defies the “freshman 15″ because of it’s location alone–and if you gain anything, it’s muscle tone). While understanding the movements awakened my body to new ways of motion, my brain was focused on “so what do we do with this? What can it express?” And I began to perform with my imagination in high gear, creating situations and ideas to express, rather than a show of movement execution–rather, the moves in turn expressed the ideas.

Years later, when I began to teach, that element of imagination became a crucial point in expanding the concept of belly dance and merging it with Goth. And it’s still my main focus, perhaps even more so today in my workshops. I expect that my students take/teach regular classes in some form of bellydance, which is the best place for basics, movement growth, drilling, and structure—the same things I would focus on in a weekly class, so my focus is not to “feel the burn” in your body—I’m certainly not Jane Fonda nor do I wish to be. Rather, my intention is to ignite your mind and your heart, and allow that to take your body in a new direction. A group of movements won’t capture the essence of Gothic Bellydance if your soul isn’t engaged. It may be an unusual approach, but if you’re willing—it’s quite effective.