Gathering Muses

I am often asked where my inspiration comes from, what inspires me?

The short answer: anywhere, anything, and everything.

You see, first of all, I don't separate my inspirations out per genre.  There is no "this is for visual art" and "this is for dance" and "this is for writing."  Rather, what I work on in my art often influences my dancing, and vice versa (as evidenced by the Baladi series, which I started to make when I first started bellydancing.)

What I don't do though, is look for inspiration in the same genre or media I'm looking for.  Meaning I don't specifically seek out the work of printmakers or bellydancers to use as a starting point for my work.  I often get invigorated to make new work after going to a festival or gallery, but the drive to make work does not correlate with what inspires me to make it.  I DO look into the work of parallel categories - such as sculpture or weaving, or historical dance to find inklings of an ideas - from a color palette to a sense of movement. But more often than not, my inspiration starts on a whole other plane of existence.  It can be from a piece of jewelry, a song, a movie, an old photo, a design on a rug, a myth, a situation in my life, a pattern on the ceiling, a random comment - seriously anywhere.  I collect images online and physically and keep them in folders that I can look at.  If something catches my eye, I save it, no matter what.  It may not be what I'm looking for RIGHT THIS MOMENT, but 6 months later or 3 years, it may be - and I'd rather not drive myself nuts trying to find it wherever I saw it first. The walls of my office and my studio are covered in images of things that have caught my eye, and I regularly take things down and put new things up (and archive the old images).

So don't be afraid to accept inspiration wherever it comes, even if it doesn't seem "normal." Collect it, gather it where you can, and save it.  Create an image or sound archive that you can immerse yourself in when you need a new direction. Don't be afraid to explore a concept until you've really exhausted it or confidently feel you can put it aside.  Don't dismiss anything before you've tried it, pushing the society/them voice aside and really LOOK at the idea and consider it without judgment.  Don't be afraid that you may be repeating yourself - most often the greatest work starts off with a familiar pattern that changes much more deeply in the process, unlocking doors. Don't be afraid to collaborate, get feedback, and challenge yourself - trying to save or protect an idea is a futile concept.  The muses, they are slutty, and trust me, they will get the idea out there somewhere, somehow, if you don't do it yourself.  And if you tackle it in your own way, in your own voice, it will always be yours in that regard.  Yes, perhaps "everything has been done before", but not by YOU.

And here's some of my favorite online places to go looking (all very different from each other in what they offer):



Booooooom!
Twisted Lamb
My Marrakesh
Trial By Steam
Wearable Art Blog
Jewelry Whore
Ekosystem


Happy Gathering!

Inspiration, the Artist & the Audience

You can pretty much separate an artist's mind into two states: "inspired and working through it" and "waiting to be inspired."  The latter is usually accompanied by nail-biting, melancholy, and thoughts of "OMG, what if I never have another good idea again?!"  Which is rather silly if you actually do function actively as an artist, because you KNOW something always comes along, but yet, we go through this negative process time and time again. 

Perhaps it's because we're always measuring our current projects up to our past successes - which is also rather silly, because everything looks better in hindsight, and you can never go back to exactly that one moment in time.  Actually, I think most artists do understand this, but the issue perhaps lays more in the audience, who rarely know/understand the process behind art-making (be it music, painting, poetry, dance, etc), and pretty much all they have to look at is whatever is laying before them and what THEY remember about it and THEIR experience with it.  Worrying about how the audience will respond is what causes that valley of doubt in artists.  Which in turn can corrupt the creative process, and set the artist off on the wrong path.

Which is not to be interpreted as me saying, "the audience doesn't matter" - because especially for performance, what really brings the art to life is that interaction between the audience and the work*.  Art is meant to be experienced - first by the artist through the process of art-making and then by the world.  But if you seek to create a piece with strictly audience response in mind, you're truncating the process and gliding across the surface of an idea rather than delving into it.  What makes art honest - and most successful in my opinion, is work that you can tell was fully explored by the artist, through the artist, and then offered to the audience.

Let me put this is in terms that are more concrete:
-If you're a painter, you use the color red heavily because it means something to you, it has a purpose and an integrity to the work, and you simply MUST use red.  Rather than using red because you heard it's the hot new interior designer color and it means you could sell more work. 
-If you're a musician, you use a certain instrument because it rocks your soul and moves you to create, versus playing something because it's convenient or attracts the opposite sex.
-If you're a writer, you write about what really inspires you and what you know, versus concocting another vapid teen vampire romance, because those are so hot and selling at the moment.
-If you're a dancer, you choose movements that make you feel amazing, work with the music, and compliment your body, versus using whatever Big Name Dancer is currently doing or did last week. Or choosing music that really moves your soul versus what everyone else is using. 

I guess what I'm really talking about here is "selling out."  (And I swear I really started this post with the idea to talk about inspiration and where it comes from...oops...)  While in the short term, it may seem a good idea to either try and mimic a past success, or copy whatever everyone else is doing to get noticed (Look! I'm standing out by doing something crazy! Just like everyone else!) - it may get you temporary satisfaction, but it won't last long, because the cycle will continue onward, and the process will get farther and farther away from being in the realm of art-making - the audience WILL lose interest, and that valley is going to be even more deeper when you hit it.

Here's the dirty truth about Art: It ain't easy.  It's not supposed to be easy, and it's going to be messy at times.  It doesn't follow recipes consistently, especially if you're substituting in gimmick for substance.  It's got to be honest for it to truly be successful.  And rather than trying so hard to find inspiration for that next great idea, let it come to you, don't force it, and don't worry.  It will come, and probably smack you down and take your wallet while it's at it. (Gotta watch out for those Muses...) Lastly, not every idea is going to be successful - even going through the process entirely, doesn't mean it will be a hit.  Art is a bit like Russian roulette in that way - but if you don't take the risk, you'll never find out.  You just have to keep trying.

So with that to consider, I would like to leave you with one of my favorite art-related quotes of all time:
“Surely all art is the result of one's having been in danger, of having gone through an experience all the way to the end, where no one can go any further” - Rainer Maria Rilke


*I think I've talked about enough in the past about how performances shouldn't be "private moments on stage" where you're holding the audience hostage to whatever "art" you want to explore, in order to be in the spotlight.  Art is communication - and it's particularly a dialogue between the artist and the audience - not a lecture or display of self-indulgence (unless you're doing a piece about the 7 Deadly Sins perhaps..and even then..)

Birthday/Release Special & News

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not particularly great or proactive about marketing and promotion.  Case in point, I haven't drastically updated the look of my website in several years (just the content and about once a year or more, I update the gallery), and while I started promoting this special offer on the 4th of June, I have yet to post it here, and that would probably be a smart thing to do.

So yes, the DVD is officially available!  All of the pre-orders/fundraiser copies have been sent out (some last Friday, the rest today, had to split it up because we have over a 100 to send!) and as a special offer in honor of the release and my birthday on the 13th, when you order the DVD by Monday, you will receive a code to download the amazing music created especially for the DVD (6 songs!) by Nathaniel Johnstone (of Abney Park & The Nathaniel Johnstone Band) for FREE.  (FYI - if you live in Canada, please use the DOMESTIC button vs. the International one for your shipping.) Go here to buy! http://darklydramatic.com/artistrydvd.html

Hopefully over the weekend I will have time to update the website with all of the amazing reviews and feedback I've already received for the DVD - thank you so much to everyone who has supported this project. 

And if you want even more of what the DVD offers (because you can only squeeze so much in a 2.5 hour-long DVD), there are just a few spaces left in the first US-based "Museum Quality" Intensive taking place in Indianapolis in July, and Celeste has announced that the early-bird rate will hold for just a few more days - so don't miss out on this amazing experience to fully explore artistry in your dance with me! Concept, technique, and creativity all compounded into 3 solid days that will blow your mind!  http://www.celestebellydance.com/museumquality.html

Entertaining Dance Vs. Evolving Bellydance

Variety is the spice of life, or so they say.  A show is often more interesting and entertaining for the audience when there is a variety of styles and kinds of presentations, versus all of the same exact style and artist - comparison and contrast between performances allows for palette cleansing, critical thinking, and general overall enjoyment.



When I first started dancing, fusion performances were among the minority, which often made them stand-out in a line-up.  Usually the "fusion" was a blending of dances (say Indian and Bellydance, or Flamenco and Bellydance) or using something un-traditional - like a rock song instead of Arabic music.  These rarely pushed the envelope, but still provided a sense of variety and contrast to a more traditional line-up.  Which generally made them a bit easier to remember to the average audience member, who may not know the amazing differences between a Turkish Romani piece, a Melaya Leff, and an American Cabaret piece.

(It should be stated that even within a given style or genre, there can be a lot of variation - a show on Egyptian dance can feature pieces that are modern as well as classic/Golden age - folkloric, and fantasy - and that will generally be far more entertaining than 20 dancers all showcasing modern in similar lycra costuming and pop music. Same with Gothic - performances can span from industrial and cyber to romantic and steampunk, from dark and mysterious to light and comedic - a lot more exciting than 20 dancers all in black tribal fusion attire popping and locking with angry faces to techno.)

It doesn't take a genius to figure out though, that if a piece really stands out, is in extreme contrast to everything else, it will be recognized for that and get talked about.  And every performer wants to be recognized and talked about (preferably in a positive light). So there has been a distinct trend in recent years to try and out-contrast everyone else in an effort to stand out.  The problem with this is that instead of offering a variety of pieces that compliment each other, a show can become a cacophony of "LOOK AT ME" - which means often that performers then try even harder to be louder and more different.  This can be very problematic on several levels.

On one hand, it is an excellent idea to challenge and push oneself.  In fact, this is at the root of artistry - not being satisfied and continuing to push forward.  But it shouldn't happen solely for the sake of comparison to others - because you can only truly compete with yourself.  When you seek to compete with others, you may stop evolving within the true nature of yourself. Because in order to "compete", it often means making yourself similar to someone else, rather than following your own inclinations.

Another problem is how far do you go before it stops being coherent with the overall thread of things? More specifically, when does it stop being bellydance?  Or does that matter? I suppose it depends on the show and the venue, but I also think a lot of people aren't asking themselves this question.  Recently I saw a piece I enjoyed - it was fun, it was well-choreographed, good costuming, and musicality - and so on those terms, it was very successful.  But then I asked myself, what does this have to to do with bellydance? Besides a few isolations - nothing.  So yes, it was entertaining and done well as dance piece, but it really didn't have anything to do with bellydance - not in the music, or the costuming, subject matter, or the movements - but it was presented at a bellydance show by someone known for being a bellydancer - and that was the fine string that connected it all.  And I asked myself, is that enough?  Especially when less-discriminating audience members are most likely thinking "that was cool! I need to do something like that to stand out and get recognized!"

Likewise, I saw rave reviews afterwards about a performance I had seen live at another event, commenting on excellent technique, musicality, etc.  I watched the video to remind myself of the piece, and I agreed there were some beautiful lines and lovely dancing, but three minutes in, I had yet to see anything bellydance about it.  Modern dance, yes, contemporary yes, ballet, yes....bellydance no.  Was it good dancing? Yes.  Was it bellydance? No.  What someone held up as their best favorite representation of bellydance at an event, wasn't even bellydance.  My mind boggled, and the irony is not lost on me that the main complaint coming out of my mouth, is the same complaint I heard rallied against fusion over the last 10+ years - so if MY eyes can't find the bellydance, then there's something serious going on.

I think it's extremely vital for us as a community right now to consider these questions when watching performances, and to ask this of ourselves, if we wish to continue to be known as bellydancers and perform in bellydance arenas.  We need to be able to recognize the difference between a good dance performance and a good bellydance performance.  It doesn't have be traditional bellydance in order to be good bellydance, but it also shouldn't be so far outside the spectrum that it ceases to retain any of the qualities and characteristics you should find under the bellydance umbrella.  And if these things aren't clear to YOU as a dancer, then it's time to get more educated about traditional bellydance.  In order for us to move forward and evolve, we have to know our roots.

And just because it's being presented on a stage at a bellydance festival by your favorite dancer isn't enough to make it bellydance, or mean it's a good idea either.  Do your research, expand your roots, and get those brains moving people!  Trust me, it's a good thing!

What does it for me?

Staple me down please.  I've just got back from Spring Caravan in NJ, on the heels of just getting back from Tribal Fest in California, and I need to override my tendency to be a workaholic and take a bit of a break (though I'm already looking forward to Tribal Revolution in Chicago at the end of this month).

During the course of both of these events, it was asked/discussed "What style of bellydance do you like to watch the most?" and "What were your favorite performances?"  A lot of people assume that for me, it must be Gothic, or some sort of fusion, etc - but in the same way, most people never know what I'm going to do next, what I like is also not predictable.  Or is it?

When I was younger and newer to the dance, I had my favorite styles to watch.  I looked for the dancers my instructors and friends recommended, listened for music that would catch my ears, and the rest seemed a blur.  Thousands of dancers/performances and a dizzying multitude of events, festivals, shows, and haflas later, things have changed - not only personally for me, but the community as well.  I still have my favorites to watch, but they are a very diverse group of dancers if you were to put them all in the same room. If I were to list my favorite performances from either event, while you would find a couple "big names" in there (and there's a certainly bit of bias because not only are they great dancers, but they also happen to be my friends/mentors), but you'd find that a lot of them aren't the most popular names out there or even dancers you've ever heard of at all.  What pulls them all together?  What catches my eye and interest? Why?

I have managed to narrow it down to a singular quality: brave sincerity.  The ability for the dancer to be true to herself in her dance, regardless of what style of dance she's performing and how long she's been dancing.  It can be Gothic or Steampunk Fusion, or it could be straight Egyptian or Turkish Oriental, or Khaleegy.  It could be a student troupe or a someone who has been dancing for 30 years.  What brings them together is the desire to dance to the best of their ability, that they have taken the time to consider their dance as a whole - from the costuming, to the movements, to the music - and how they all relate, and that who they are in that moment shines through.  And it's clear they're not afraid to be who they are. There's a sense of artistry founded in good technique, married with stage presence.  That's my sweet spot and what I look for.

I link bravery with sincerity because it's not an easy thing to be yourself, especially in this community.  It's much easier to be a clone, to pander to what's popular, to present the consistently familiar and crowd-pleasing.  Because the reality is, rarely does what's truly new/different/innovative/unusual equal crowd-pleasing, when you're dealing with the masses.  Most people prefer to be presented with something formulaic and familiar, it's more comfortable on the brain.  They're not looking to be challenged in any way, unless it's pre-approved and expected. What they tend to think of as new/different, has already been around and kicking for quite some time, and has become acceptable over time.  And it is extremely hard as a performer to not cater to that sense of instant approval because all performers want to be acknowledged as successful, to be praised for what they do.  So it's extremely exciting for me to watch dancers who fight that tendency, and dare to be themselves, whether they're presenting fusion or folklore, tradition or trend-setting.  For me, everything else is boring.  Show pony big name/clone in overpriced costuming doing the same thing to a slightly different song? Big whoop. Seen it. Give me a student troupe who have clearly worked their hearts out presenting their piece, and you'll see my heart move.  That dancer you've never heard of, doing her own take on a trend? I want it. Really well-done passionate oriental? Bring it.  Tribal style that's fun with an awesome group dynamic with dancers of all shapes and ages? Yes please!

Be you, and I'll be there for you. I promise.

all the news that is...

No rest for the wicked, as I write this way too early from bed in California, having arrived last night and am still on EST. As some may noticed, I'm a little off-schedule this month for weekly posts - as I've been up to my ears in getting the DVD ready, getting ready for Tribal Fest, have a huge project at work, International Steampunk City the other weekend, etc - so it's been nuts.  So I'm just going to touch base here:

-I'm a Tribal Fest 11 in Sebastopol, California this week and weekend!  I'm teaching TWO workshops on Thursday (of which I believe there is still some room in each) - "Musicality & 'Motion" at 10:15am and then "Shimmies - Sassy to Sizzling" at 12:15 (and yeap, those are back to back, so eat a big breakfast and bring a snack!) - then I'll be at the Meet & Greet that night.  I'm performing on FRIDAY at 6:51pm, debuting music from my DVD!  And I'm vending Friday-Sunday in my usual spot in the main room, by the entrance.

-"Bellydance Artistry" DVD Project! We had hoped for a TF11 release, but alas, nope.  BUT I do have a demo on hand for preview, and we should have the DVDs in hand for Spring Caravan next week! I am SO excited about how it came together and looks! I am still accepting pre-orders for the DVD (at TF and via the website), and if you purchase a pre-order by the end of this weekend, you'll also get a special coupon for downloading the music!

-Steampunk Bellydance Shirts! I have a new design on tanks and tee's and it's STEAMY!  Will have them for sale at Tribal Fest - and you can still pre-order these as well for Spring Caravan or ship to anywhere!

-Spring Caravan! Is next weekend!  I'm teaching a special 3 hour workshop on Thursday afternoon (Gothic Trilogy) and Nouveau Noir Dance on Saturday morning.  I'm performing solo at 8:40pm on Friday night, and performing with my lovely students at 7:24pm on Saturday night - featuring our "Reverse Djinn" piece!  And of course, I'm vending all weekend.

So there's a LOT going on! See you there!

No Fear Bellydance!

You probably don't know this about me, but I grew up surfing at the (real) Jersey shore.  My older brothers were surfers, and so by the age of 6, I was up and standing on a real full-size fiberglass surfboard (single fin, with a beautiful star with a rainbow tail, Rainbow Brite - eat your heart out), riding waves.  I actively surfed and also had a small collection of Morey Boogie boards that I saved up for well through my late teens.  The older I got though, the more my widening hip bones did not care for the bruising contact of the board as the surf banged it against them, and the more I was aware that this was a very dangerous activity.  So you could say fear and self-preservation entered the equation, but the connection I really wanted to make here is the surfer-brand of "No Fear" because that's the first thing I think of when I hear that phrase.

But I still like to connect it with bellydance when I can, because it's also a phrase I like to tell my students.  "No fear!" when it comes to performing!  "No fear!" when it comes to trying something new!  "No fear!" when it comes to trying something again.  "No fear!" that there WILL be another time.

And so I got to thinking, when IS fear appropriate with dance, and when does it really show up when we least expect it?  When is fear the root of our issues and what can we do about it?  When is it controlling us more than we are controlling it?



There are two kinds of fear and how they affect us.  I mentioned in my blog post about bullying that fear of losing control, popularity, etc, is a big factor behind why most people bully.  In fact, I think fear has a lot to do with most negative behavior that can be found within our community.  There's our fears that can harm ourselves internally/personally (and not directly affect anyone else) - we'll call this Interior Fear, and then there's our fears that can cause other people harm - Exterior Fear. 

Some examples of Interior Fears:
-Stage Fright (any of the fears related to performing in front of other people)
-Class/Workshop Fear (fear of looking like you don't know what you're doing in a classroom setting)
-Poser Fear (fear of being shown you don't know what you're doing/talking about)
-Live Music Fear (fear that the musicians will unleash something random and horrible upon you, making you look like a moron)
-Improv Fear (fear of doing anything improvised)
-Choreography Fear (fear of failing to remember choreography)
-Fangirl Fear (fear of being rejected/sneered at by your idol)

How to overcome Interior Fears:  Well, every situation is different, but really the best antidote is doing.  You'll never know unless you try, and the more you do something, the more comfortable you will become with it.  Often, we make a situation far worse in our head than it can ever be in real life, and life is all about experiences.  Some will be good, some will be bad, but they're all worth it, because we can learn from them.  No one has it all together right off the bat, it takes time to develop skill and nurture talent.  The irony is, the more accepting that you are of that you may indeed look like a moron, the less likely the chances you will actually become one.

Some examples of Exterior Fears:
-Losing students to other teachers
-Losing fans to other performers
-Losing status/popularity

How to overcome Exterior Fears:  A lot of things I see in the community make me scratch my head - especially when actions extremely defy logic and sense, and I've come to the conclusion that logical reasoning is clearly absent and has been pushed out by fear, especially when the excuses that coming pouring out don't make any sense.  I'm going to tackle each of these fears separately:

-Losing students to other teachers.  I've heard all sorts of interesting reasons why people don't host workshops with other teachers or tell their students about them.  There's the logical ones: no budget, too busy, honestly didn't know about an event, or they want to check out a teacher first before they expose their students to them so they can make a solid recommendation.  The ones that generate the more "interesting" reasons usually have the same thing though at heart - the teacher is afraid that she may lose students to other teachers - which not only shows a great amount of personal insecurity, but also may prevent the students from becoming better, more rounded dancers.  We become better dancers through being exposed to more instructors and performers - sometimes it's a lesson of what to do, or how to do it differently, and sometimes it's a lesson of what NOT to do.  If a student is meant to move on, then let her/him move on.  If they want to try something different, let them have their own experience.  If you're doing a good job, they will still be there for you.  There will always be more students for good teachers.  If it comes down to doubting oneself and your own ability, then it's time to brush up on your own skills and expand your education.

-Losing fans to other performers.  I don't understand snubbing other performers when they're offering to dance at/partake of your event.  I think the most common fear some producers have is having someone do better than themselves or that people will like those other performers more.  But variety is the spice of life!  And a little healthy competition makes us all more on our game. Everyone has their strengths and weakness. There's also the concept of creating a show and letting everyone know the terms, limits, and expectations, and then there's bullshitting (for lack of a more elegant term.) Make terms clear and standard for everyone, or don't make it sound like you're open to all and then not be.  Treat everyone with respect and be direct.  Also, consider good business sense.  If a well-known or high quality dancer wants to participate in my show, I will make the room for them - because they will help increase the draw and the level of the show, plus it's damn good karma - and chances are, even if the schedule appears tight, something always happens, so it's not a bad thing to budget for another 5-7 more minutes.  Also, I'm always up for giving a new performer a new opportunity - you just never know!  I'm also aware of supporting other local teachers/performers when possible to help strengthen the community and show mutual respect. It really is a win-win. And lastly, so what if someone is a better performer than you?  This is just how things are, and you can only truly compete against yourself. 


-Losing status/popularity.  I also don't get the popularity game. I don't understand stunts, rumors, and other perceptions involved with this game. You never know what will make people happy or turn them off, because you can't please all of the people all of the time. Some people will go fangirl over anything, and other people are finicky.  You can't let it get to you. The key thing is to do the best job YOU can, do what YOU believe in, and act with respect with others.  That's the best way to not only be yourself (and a true original), but also build momentum the most positive way.  Everything ebbs and flows. Today you're riding the wave, tomorrow you're getting wiped out.  But there will always be more waves and other day.  But if you're true to yourself, you'll be in for the long ride no matter what.

No Fear!