How Do We Heal? Looking for solutions when our hearts hurt.

I look upon my dance community, and it causes me great pain to see and hear all of the anguish, suffering, and confusion. This dance is supposed to be about celebration, exploration, and expression. It should be a safe place for all to learn, grow, and share in.

I received notice that my own image was included in this controversy. I have not seen the images, but I don't need to - it doesn't change my anger and hurt over this. My heart goes out to my fellow dancers likewise directly or indirectly affected, and I appreciate all of those who wish to support us. I am deeply hurt, shocked, angered, and disappointed by actions taken by individuals in our community who claim to support us and our work. There is no excuse for such behavior, and wrong has been clearly done.

Having been a teacher, vendor, and volunteer at Tribal Fest for over a decade, I feel wrecked and raw. Kajira has been a close friend and mentor for many years, and has been there for me in times of need. I can't even properly express the amount of anguish I feel for her, and all of us affected - which really is...everyone. No one, it doesn't matter how many or how few, should be treated in the manners that were expressed.

I feel that I must make a statement about this situation for several reasons. I was not involved or consulted in the statement that went public on Sunday, and I don't feel comfortable letting other people speak for me or make actions on my behalf. My name and my word is my power. I want to talk about resolution, what is being done and what can be done to rectify this situation, what actions can be taken to further prevent these kind of activities and other dishonorable behavior within the community, and what sort of future are we building for our dance.

While I have not talked with any of the other members of the private group, I have spoken at length with Chuck and expressed my hurt and my anger to him in no uncertain terms. He was forthright in accepting his responsibility and apologizing unreservedly for his actions. But an apology doesn't remove the pain or make the situation go away. It is a step in the right direction, though - the first of many steps that he will need to undertake in order to properly make amends for his actions. I do believe he is truly sorry for his actions (and also lack there of), and that growth can come from this. Regaining trust and respect is going to be a difficult road and is going to take a long time - of that I have no doubt.

This past Tribal Fest was an especially powerful one for me. After years of working through difficult personal circumstances and professional drama within the community,TF15 truly felt like a homecoming. I feel like I was able to make peace with folks I have been estranged from, and I know others felt that way as well. So this tragedy makes that contrast all the more painful. Tribal Fest means so much to so many people, and has weathered so many changing conditions in the dance community. I believe it is possible to rekindle the spirit and beauty that is at the heart of the event, and get past this as well. I am willing to give Tribal Fest the benefit of the doubt, and lend my support to Kajira for reclaiming it as a safe, loving, and powerful space for our community.

Our society is in a state of flux, where outdated and small-minded acts are being purged for a more equal, healthy society that fosters respect and understanding. There are definitely some trees in our forest that need pruning, and I think we can do that without burning down the whole forest. I know that I, myself have made mistakes in the past, and have been granted the space to make it better - and I have extended this same courtesy to others. I believe in making amends and helping to facilitate positive change. I'm asking myself, those involved, as well as you, what are our next actions? What can we do to foster growth and healing, promote education and support, and strengthen our community?

One thing that I am doing to address this: In just a few weeks, the event that I produce, Waking Persephone, will take place for its 4th year. One of our features is our free, open-to-all community roundtable experience, where attendees can discuss problems, issues, and perspectives affecting them, and ask questions of their dance leaders. I am honored that Kajira is on our teaching staff this year, and I have asked her to address what has happened and be open to the community's questions and thoughts. I invite all attendees and the larger community in general to come and participate.

I am still absorbing the shock of all of what has happened, and it will take time to recover. I will do what I can to be available to my friends, students, and family, and I am very much interested in your thoughts and suggestions. My deepest hope is that the dance community will emerge out of this crisis even stronger, more beautiful, and more supportive.


Blessed be.

Tempest

Core Concern: Why I Don't Film My Classes

My home studio - photo by Geisha Moth

I have received many requests to offer my classes online, to just please film my weekly classes and make that footage available.  I truly feel for the folks who want to study with me on a regular basis, but live too far away or their schedule doesn't allow it.  I love teaching, so of course I want to respond to that need.  I am also aware that in this strange new world of the bellydance economy, a lot of workshop bookings happen because that teacher offered online classes.

But I just can't do it. Why is that?

It's not the technology.  I have an excellent camera, an excellent internet connection, and there are a multitude of resources to help me get that footage out there.

It's not the money. I work as an artist/dancer/designer full time, so the extra income isn't something to be blinked at.

It's not the content.  I have over two dozen workshop topics and offer 3 kinds of intensives, and I know the material is good and proven.  And for those of you who think I'm amusing and fun in workshops...my weekly classes are even more so...and with cats.

It's not quite the time either.  I do have a very full schedule, so the obvious choice would to be film the classes as I'm doing it to make the best use of time and effort.

So what's the deal?

It's about respect.

I respect my students, and endeavor to offer them a safe, positive environment to learn in.  I recognize the fact that class is about the learning process: that you don't get it right on the first try, that you're going to mess up something you know quite well, and you want to be able to do that where you feel comfortable as possible and supported.  My home studio is mirrored on 3 walls, and not a huge space, but we use it completely in a variety of formats throughout the class, so everyone would be in the frame of the camera regardless. And that's not something they need to be worrying about when they're spending their time and money with me to learn dance. (It shouldn't be a surprise to most that my classes aren't made up of lined up drills and repetitive combinations - which are easy to film, but not what I believe in when it comes to teaching dance.  There are other ways to build strength, muscle memory, and understanding of dance.) 

I also cater my classes directly to my students' needs.  I'm not teaching the class for my sake, it's all about them.  I invite my students to bring me their questions, concerns, and desires about what they want to learn.  If something comes up in class, I want to address it and work with them, rather than worrying about sticking to a set syllabus, or worrying about the clock. They need to feel free to ask questions and get feedback, without an unknown audience watching.

And online students can't get that level of direct feedback and interaction (at least not yet, maybe when there is real holodeck technology, and you could actually "beam" into the class, and interact like you ARE there), so that's another concern of respect.  And if I can't give you personal feedback and response in class, you might as well be watching one of my DVDs.  Which happens to be what my students use to keep in practice when I'm on the road and unable to offer weekly classes.

So what are your options if you don't live by me then? Well, obviously it's not the same as a live class for the reasons stated above, but both the Bellydance Artistry and DecoDance DVDs are a good place to start to work with my material.  I do offer skype lessons, schedule-permitting, but the best things to consider are in-person opportunities.   If you're traveling near Seattle (or I'm traveling near you), see about scheduling a private lesson.  An hour-long private lesson with me typically gives you at least a month or more of material to work on. Check to see if I am offering any intensives near you or if I am offering workshops at an event near you. Or inquire with your local event producer/promoter about hiring me for their next event - because as a producer myself, it helps to know about interest and draw concerning who to hire. (Well, this turned into the shameless self-promotion paragraph...)

Lastly, I don't offer online classes because our cats can't sign release forms.

Manifesting Dreams: Custom Orders - Part 1 - Being A Client

Over the last few weeks, I have found myself talking again and again with very different folks about custom orders - from both sides of the spectrum (as the provider and as the consumer). Discussing what worked, didn't work, and how to make it run more smoothly - because we all make mistakes, the key thing is to learn from them!  I hate to see anyone have heartache over this special kind of transaction, so I decided to compile notes that can be useful regardless of which side of the process you're involved in.

(For the purpose of this article, I will refer to the business/provider as the designer, and the customer as the client. For Part I, I will address things the client needs to know.  Part II will discuss what the designer needs to know.)

First, why choose custom work?
-As a client, custom work means getting a product that is especially designed for your needs - whether it's a unique design (such as a logo), a portrait, song, or special work of art, clothing made especially to fit you. There's a thrill to have something made especially for you, that very few or no one else will have anything quite like it.

What to know as client: 

First, it's important to have a fairly clear idea of what you want.  Most designers are not psychic or mind-readers, so they're going to need to know what you're looking for.  Keep track of ideas you like (and don't like), and prepared to answer questions and give feedback.

-Choosing a Designer: Look for someone whose work/portfolio both appeals to you and is in alignment with your project.  It's important that your project and the designer are a good fit.  If you're looking at getting a full color logo digitally made, but your chosen artist does only black and white work drawn by hand, that's not going to work well.  Likewise a designer who makes clothing specifically for large men might have a difficult time making a dress that fits properly for a petite woman. Also, if they do indeed tell you they don't do what you're looking for - don't take it personally. A good designer knows what they are capable of, and what they are not. Similarly, if a designer's portfolio doesn't reflect the kind of project you are looking for, but they say they have done that sort of work before, ask to see it/hear it/reference their client.  Also, be sure to look for reviews or get feedback from other clients.

-Are you compatible? A custom order is indeed a kind of relationship, so it's important to feel you are able to communicate effectively with the designer.  If you don't feel comfortable or understood, don't go there, no matter how much another friend or famous person may say they're awesome.  Trust your gut!  I have seen plenty of folks who have made names for themselves by getting their work seen/used by someone famous.  Little does the "regular" person know that some designers often give away or sell their work at a discount so that it can be seen...then the famous person or friend wears it once or twice (if that's as long as it holds up) and boom they have a reputation.

-Pricing: Custom work can be expensive, and it can take a while, depending on the designer's schedule.  First peruse their regularly available work and consider if the price matches the quality of the work. Many designers charge more for custom work, because it can take more time and investment of materials on their part to create your project.  So expect to pay generally 10-30% more depending on what you're looking for, make an investment upfront, and for it to take some time for the project to be completed.  Similarly, if a price seems too good to be true, it usually is.

-Time: And ah yes, timing.  Deadlines are important, for both parties. Very rarely will you be the only client a designer has - and orders are typically addressed accordingly to access to materials, order dates, and other details.  Work that is done by hand definitely takes longer to be done right, so exercise patience and listen to projected dates when discussed. If you are in a rush, let the designer know that before you place an order, and if they say they can't do it, don't push them.  I would also suggest adding a 1-2 week buffer for your deadline.  Confirm in writing or in a contract when the project needs to be done/delivered. If you say "oh no rush" or "whenever you feel like it" - some designers take that as a cue to keep pushing your order off when someone else has something more pressing. Or that you're not serious about your project.  Yes, I know you're trying to be supportive and polite, but it's better to be specific.

Here I would like to take a moment to talk about the almighty triangle of cost, quality, and time.  I first heard it when I worked in a high end frame shop and it applies to all custom projects.  Out of those three terms, you could only choose 2 out of the 3 at any time:

Time + Cost = A project done quickly and inexpensively, but the Quality will be lackluster.

Quality + Time = A fantastic project delivered quickly, but it will Cost you more. 

Cost + Quality = Great work at a reasonable cost, but will take a longer Time to finish.

Now that you've chosen a designer, and begun to work out the details, let's look at getting down to manifesting that project successfully:

-Follow directions carefully.  Read all instructions, contracts, etc, carefully and repeatedly.  Make sure you understand them and what is needed from you to get started.  If not, then ask questions!

-If you need help with determining size, color, etc - then get it.  Don't wing it - you will only be disappointed, and have only yourself to blame if you give the designer the wrong information in the first place.

-Get ALL the requested information to your designer in a timely manner, in order to meet your deadline. If you have a troupe of 12 dancers getting custom tops, and you only give the designer 10 of those sizes up front, and then 4 weeks later send along the other 2...and expect it all done in 5 weeks total, it ain't happening.  Anything that involves physical materials and multiple steps - a designer MUST HAVE that information up front before starting.  "I think they're a small" won't cut it, especially if you come back with a medium and a large.  The designer needs to know how much material to buy (determined by the sizes), and then will cut all the pieces in one stage, then sew all the pieces together in the next, then embellish all the pieces, etc.  Rarely with such an order will a designer make one piece at a time for a large order. It's a poor use of time and energy.

-Be sure to get all of the details in writing.  Many designers will have a contract for you to look over and sign - which protects BOTH parties.  If there isn't some sort of project order or contract, then compile an email that you both agree to all of the details on.  "I'll remember what we talked about (6 weeks from now)" isn't the best way to do business!

-Material Girls....When dealing with multiple orders/troupes, it's important to realize that a designer calculates how much fabric/materials are needed by the sizing, and typically work in steps....all the pieces cut, then sewn, then embellished...so providing two troupe member's sizes 3 weeks after placing the initial order...is typically pushing your order back 3 weeks.  The delay is your fault, not the designer's. Likewise, if the project relies on you sending materials, do so promptly and be sure to follow up with the designer that they have received it. If there is going to be leftover material, outline whether the designer should keep it or send it back to you.

-Expect to pay a deposit UP FRONT. Personally, my project deposits are typically 50% of the total cost upfront.  As a designer it means that my client is serious about their project, understands the terms/contract, and I have the means to invest in any necessary materials for the project.  Other designers may charge another percentage or a flat amount for a deposit.  The client pays the remaining balance when the project is ready to be delivered.  Also note, additional changes may cost you more (again, read the details), and shipping or tax may not be included in the initial project total.  Be sure to work these details out in advance so you're not surprised.  I also would recommend exercising extreme caution regarding anyone who asks you for the full amount up front.  Consider the balance as an incentive. If for any reason YOU decide to cancel the project or can't pay for it after it has been started/contracts signed, then expect to lose your deposit.  It's only fair for the work the designer has put in.  Similarly, if a designer fails to work on a project or deliver it within the time discussed, they risk forfeiting the deposit.

-Lastly, remember that poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on the part of the designer.  Be realistic in making your choices, exercise clear communication, follow directions, and you'll be on the way to manifesting the best outcome for your custom order!

The Cure For The Common Clone

It's one of the truths of evolution: diverse roots make for a stronger gene pool.

Continuing on our exploration on how to keep moving with the changes with the bellydance economy, I wanted to try and tackle something I have heard a lot of folks comment on over the last few years: the homogenizing of dance styles.  More specifically, personal style being overpowered by cloning/copying - meaning that X, Y, and Z dancers all look like A dancer - moves, make-up, music, costuming, facial expression - mostly devoid of their own personal sparkle in the equation.

But wait! All artists must learn from the masters, and they learn by copying! 

Yes, but as an artist transitions from being a student to being a professional (on their way to being a master themselves right?), they are expected to start producing their own unique material.  And if you copy from only one style of master (say the Impressionists), then you're narrowing your educational base severely.  Also, learning isn't about only picking to study what you like.  There are plenty of art movements/styles I don't personally like, but I still needed to learn about them. Why? Because having a strong foundation means having more to choose from as I grow - that I understand the history, the rules - and how they were broken.

No matter how much I may love the artwork of Andrew Wyeth, if I put up a show of consisting of paintings copied directly from his work, but presented it as my own at a gallery, it wouldn't fly. I could use a similar style of painting, approach to light and subject matter, but the imagery and expression would need to be entirely me.  So students copying their favorite dancers and trying the material out at recitals and haflas, or dancers presenting choreography as a homage to a certain dancer (with permission/fitting a themed show) is one thing - but if you're claiming to be a professional dancer, you'd better be presenting your own work. The same is true for teaching.

But wait! There was such an explosion in the dance community over the last 15 years - more teachers, more access to material, online videos, more shows, more workshops, more festivals - shouldn't that mean more diversity?

It could, but booms also mean that things move faster than perhaps what is best - so more teachers with less training, more performers without proper backgrounds, more and more events produced by folks without experience or focus, etc - essentially leading to over-saturation.  And as the economy continues to get more precarious, event producers have been more likely to to hire names that they may think will guarantee their investment - but even those names will stop selling out their workshops when all of the events seem to have the same names, and there are less students to go around.  And if the majority of those names all have the same background/style, then the students are essentially learning from the same genepool, producing more of the same.

How was it different 10, 15, 20+ years ago? Fewer events meant that there were less chances to study  which means taking advantage of that event when it happened in or near your town. More often than not, those local events also only featured one or a few teachers, versus a large roster festival (destination event!), so the producers cycled instructors and styles taught every year.  So no matter what style you learned from your weekly instructor, you got an infusion of something different a few times a year that definitely impacted how you saw the dance.

Weekly in-person classes - another changing creature.  DVDs and online classes are great for on-demand instruction - and exposure to diversity (if you make those choices) but you're not going to get the same level of feedback (if ANY - cause if one of my DVDs starts giving you feedback, it's probably possessed...) one gets in a weekly class.

Another factor is the Combo-Nation. ATS, ITS and assorted TS variants are based on a system of codified combinations devised to allow for cohesive group dancing.  While different troupes can surely come up with their own combos or "accents" on existing combos, the system is still inherently based on clearly identifiable moves that are performed for a set number of beats, counts, etc. Not that there is anything wrong with that in itself, but when a dancer decides to branch out into dancing solo (which was at the root of Tribal Fusion when it started), it can be very hard to break out of using that system.  Another by-product of that system is the tendency to override the music - while a combo could be fast or slow (and therefore applied to fast or slow music), unless it was crafted and choreographed for a very specific section of that music, it can rarely capture all, let alone even some, of the nuance of the music, if it has to be in so many repeated counts with certain movements.  If the dancer hasn't been immersed in how Arabic music works and the art of improvisation without relying on combinations, something special is lost in translation when they move into a soloist format.

But if that's what all the community/audience has seen and accepted as bellydance for the last decade, it unfortunately becomes the standard.  And folks like to follow what's popular - it's safe.

(Here lies the ironic situation of now being that cranky older dancer going "damn kids, get off my lawn! that's not bellydance!" which is pretty much what I heard 15+ years ago bringing Gothic Bellydance on the scene.  Is it the same? Not quite, because we mostly understood what rules we were breaking back then, and had the foundation.  The drama was more about fear of dark concepts and looking weird making it "not bellydance" verus not understanding the music, improvisation, or cloning someone else.) 

So what am I doing about it?

I am very proud of the fact that of my students who have gone on to be professionals - none of them look like Tempest-clones. (If you see such a thing, it is most likely someone who hasn't studied with me personally.) How/why? I teach foundation of music, movement, and culture alongside fusion concepts. I encourage them to dance and dress to what suited their bodies and personalities.  I recommend other teachers and workshops for them to study with.  And I'm always studying myself as well - never stop learning!

I produce bellydance events designed to introduce them to concepts beyond what I offer - particularly Waking Persephone. I have designed WP to be an event that offers any style of dancer a complete experience that gives them a buffet of choices.  I have heard some ill-informed snarkery that seems to think because we don't have certain "big names" in our line-up, that we're somehow poorer for it, or didn't have "connections." (insert maniacal laughing) As if hiring a famous dancer was some big elusive mystery (it's not) or that I haven't been an internationally-hired teacher/performer for at least a decade now and didn't know pretty much everyone (I am and I do).  Nope. I could build the perfect formula event based on the usual model, but I'm not interested in that. The point of WP is to focus on folks who are doing things differently, who you may not have heard of already (but should get toknow), and to give established folks a chance to do something they're really excited about, but rarely get to offer. It's essentially an exercise of the Anti-Popularity Game. It's rather risky because we're going against the grain, but the results make it oh so worthwhile.Every year, we help more dancers find their own personal styles, learn to speak with their own voices, and grow their foundation.  That is pure win.

(Yeah, that was some shameless self-promo, but this is my blog.)

So worried that your dance feels like something from the Bellydance Borg? Here are some things to consider:

• When was the last time you took a weekly class?  If that's not available, how about a workshop?  How about a private lesson?

• When was the last time you took a workshop with someone you hadn't heard of/outside of your style?  Next event, check out the OTHER names on the list and sign up for something different.
• If you're coming from a TS/TF background, be sure to study some Oriental/Cabaret, and in particular, learn more about Arabic music.

• Add to your practice some free-flow taqsim (no combos), for 1-3 songs.
• Costume for your own body and for your own personal tastes.
• Want to see someone different at your local event? Let the producer know!
• Consider what it is you want to say with your dance - because you should be saying something, in your own voice. 

Raq on folks!

A Tribal Fest History & Homecoming

2015 - Photo by Carrie Meyer

(A little late in posting this - but have been on tour for the last month, so not much time to collect my thoughts! And there are a lot of them...)This year marks 13 years of attending Tribal Fest.  The only ones I have missed were the very first one and Tribal Fest 14 (last year - as the band was hired to play at Steampunk World's Fair in NJ - which is alas, always the same weekend as TF - but we did make a 2 week tour of it!).

My journey into the world of bellydance came via a friend's recommendation that I check out this amazing troupe she had seen performing at a San Francisco street fair.  That troupe was Fat Chance and even in the way back early days of the internet, I found myself going down a fantastic rabbit hole of pictures, articles, and discussion threads.  I read (and re-read) numerous articles and interviews by Kajira Djoumahna, author of The Tribal Bible and founder of United We Dance (which evolved into BlackSheep BellyDance). Through following her work, I found out about the first Tribal Festival that was about to take place - in some place called Sebastopol, California.  A recent college graduate, supporting 2 on an hourly wage as a gallery assistant and having no idea of how to even financially manage a trip to CA, I felt miserably stuck all the way in Rhode Island, unable to attend this mystical event.

2015 - Tish, Nathaniel, and Tempest

So you can bet your binti bells, when I moved to the Bay Area of California the following November, Tribal Fest was top of my list! When TF2 rolled around finally, the same friend who had introduced me to FCBD and I set off towards Sebastopol to see what it was all about. The drive up was a comedy of errors, including getting ourselves trapped and detoured by the Bay to Breakers run and the infamous 101 traffic - but we did eventually make it up there that rainy afternoon.  I remember being overwhelmed by the amount of beautifulshiny things for sale and the amazing performances.

And after that, every year, I have been involved in some shape or form - first with performing and vending, and then adding teaching to the list a couple of years down the line, organizing gatherings (the first Motif in 2007, and live music afterparties at Aubergine) - as well as helping out graphic design in some shape or another.  Through Tribal Fest I have studied with amazing legends of the dance - and shared the stage with them(!), met countless wonderful people from all over the world, shared my ideas with fantastic students, my designs and art with even more folks.  I have encouraged so many folks to attend, including dragging friends out from the far reaches of the East Coast! And even when I moved all the way back East in mid 2007, I still trekked out every year from NJ or RI - to be reunited with my extended bellydance family.

Though I also have to say, it wasn't all butterflies and hipdrops. As I advanced along in my dance journey/career, the vibe started to change for me - I think around 2007. There are so many factors contributing to that feeling over the next 6 years that it's unfair to place the weight of it on one thing in particular.  Instead a culmination of personal issues stemming from relationships, a feeling that there was more of a focus on "what's cool/popular/how weird" by performers/audience than of "what makes good bellydance," making for a stressed greenroom and terrifying stage (unless I was dueting with Anaar, then everything was peachy), less of the super friendly folks from the midwest/east coast attending (due to the rise of some really great events out those ways), dealing with other people's drama llamas, and the stress of having a vending table directly in the auditorium - as it got more and more crowded each year, and the show grew longer hours. (Not ideal for an introvert who relishes quiet.) The mix of all these things made my experiences bittersweet - there were things I truly still enjoyed, but I was also stressed about a lot of things too.

The Decision - Photo by Geish Moth

When 2013 rolled around, being in a new and healthy relationship - and moving to an outdoor vending spot made a huge difference in my outlook.  I was focusing on being more positive and putting negative experiences in the past. However, a few of the folks I encountered weren't on the same page, and that was extremely disheartening.  So I have to confess to being a tiny bit relieved when we were booked for the east coast in 2014.  But it was definitely weird being surrounded by steampunks instead of dancers for that weekend - and watching friends post TF photos of everything that was going on! I felt displaced.

With an invitation to teach in 2015 and the theme of family reunion, I wondered how this year's experience would be.  How would it differ from previous years? How would the changing bellydance economy effect everything? How would it go with some of the "usual suspects" missing? I mentally tried to brace myself for it all.

Didi and Tempest in the Green Room

And you know what?  It was WONDERFUL. Not only did it have all of the sweet parts from years before, but there was an overwhelming positive vibe surrounding everything (at least to me).  Vending went extremely well - probably due to the new Mago Djinn line and focusing more on my artwork.  My workshops were well-attended with enthusiastic students, and I felt great about my performance (which had felt a bit risky coming into it). But what really was the icing on the cake was all of the positive interactions I had with so many people - old and new faces alike.  On one hand, there were so many new folks, coming to Tribal Fest for the first year - and they brought their excitement with them! (Hilary from PA gave me several beautiful flower crowns over the course of the event, that she handmade from the local wildflowers ;))  On the other side, there were long-term folks reaching out, and starting new positive threads. And other folks in my close circle of friends also reported the same.  This news lifts my heart so much on what it means for the bellydance community in general.

The Mago Djinn/Owlkeyme Arts Booth

Some of my favorite moments: watching the opening ritual with Guedra Blessing with Amel Tafsout, catching some of our Waking Persephone teachers perform, spending time with old and new friends, doing some incredible shopping at the Tuareg Jewelry booth (I may have sold my soul to Terri, but I am OK with that), hanging out with Geisha Moth and making use of her special lounge area, and lots of good discussions with fabulous people.

And I'm stupid excited already for next year. I really am!  If you haven't been to Tribal Fest yet - or perhaps haven't been in a while, then I would seriously consider coming in 2016.  And the theme has a sci-fi twist to it: "Dance Long & Prosper" - what's not to love? I think it's going to be a blast!

Lastly, here is my performance, music is "When The Wolves Return" by Ego Likeness - thanks so much to Donna and Steven for letting me dance to it before it was "officially" released:

Healing The Hater, Part I

Why do people hate?

Sometimes hate is born of a grudge or past transgression -and serves as a form of protection (though doubly barbed inside and out) - but most of the time hatred is rooted in misunderstanding, fear, and insecurity.  Hate tends to be something we learn from someone else - hearing what family or friends say as we're growing up, what we hear down the line from peers as adults, etc.

As human beings, we are given to fearing or mistrusting that which we find unfamiliar or different from ourselves.  There's an underlying drive to feel part of a group, to feel accepted and familiar. Then there's a point in our development of self and personality where we can find excitement in the unfamiliar and embrace the different - or absolutely abhor it.  Perhaps it's a vestige of a survival instinct or really a matter of personality (nature vs. nurture) - but in modern-day society, the sense of difference tends to pare down to "does that make them better or lesser than me?"  If one is fully secure in one's own self, that question never even comes to the surface. But that's not such an easy state to get to either.

I want you to think about someone you extremely dislike or disliked in your life.  Think about how it makes/made you feel to be around them, to have to interact with them, or hear someone mention their name/talk about them. You most likely felt a mix of anger and anxiety - a bad feeling from your chest to your gut - and perhaps panic as well.  Not a nice way to feel, is it?  But at least it would tend to go away after the experience was over, for the time being, though it probably left you feeling a bit dirty.  Like that feeling corrupted your peace of mind and body, and left a residue. Not very healthy is it? Hate is essentially raging an energy war that flares up every time that you run into that person.

Now imagine if those same feelings and energy weren't directed at another person, but instead at yourself.  And not just you as a person, but a particular part of your body.  Perhaps that body part doesn't fit within society's so-called standards of "beauty", or maybe it doesn't function as well as it used to. Maybe you were fine with it until somebody made you feel ashamed about it.  Whatever the reason, it falls into this category of being "Other" - something that is a part of you that makes you devalue yourself.

It's a part of you, and it's not easily going away.  Which means you have declared war on yourself - on some level, you are constantly throwing that negative energy at YOUR OWN SELF. Which isn't a healthy state to exist in emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually.

In the many years I have been teaching dance and traveling all over the world, I have found no shortage of dancers who hate something about themselves, especially while they are comparing themselves to other dancers.  I have heard "well, I can't dance until I....(fill in the blank with some sort of body-related issue)" - which often means, they're not dancing at all.  Or they're constantly going through cycles where they are dancing/not dancing - and often fighting more health issues along the way. Further compounded by our healthcare system that tends to treat the symptoms, but not the source.

Right now you may be saying, "Oh Tempest, sure I get it - now you're just saying if I throw 'love and light' at myself, all of my problems will go away...NOT."

Nope. I'm not saying that, and those who actually know me, know I'm not all "love and light and fluffy bunnies."  Well, I'm all about fluffy bunnies.  Because bunnies! But I don't believe throwing glitter at problems makes them go away - that's pretty much the treat the symptom, not the cause all over again.

What I'm talking about is taking some time with yourself and examine the root of your self-hate. Stress often manifests itself in a variety of very physical issues - affecting your digestion, your skin/hair, your weight, etc.  And if you're throwing hate at those parts, it's not going to make them get better. That's like trying to get a plant to flower while giving it acid instead of water, darkness instead of sunlight, and a smaller pot versus ample room to grow. Instead, the cycle will continue to spiral downward, and take you with it.

If you find that stress is at the root of your issues, I very much know that it's not easy to simply remove stress from your life, but there are always ways to change/improve the situation - if you really truly want change.  Sometimes it requires serious, big change - but if that's what makes you healthy and happy, then it'll be worth it. (Personal example - from about 2009-2011, I was losing my hair, or at least the hair on my scalp, and the doctors had no clue why.  They just had shampoos, tonics, lotions, and talk of biopsies to offer me.  I realized I was deeply unhappy and in a relationship that was unhealthy for me that I couldn't make any better. It took a great deal of pain and change to start a new life...but within weeks of that, my hair started growing back, skin issues cleared up, etc. That was the start of a new journey, a new me...)

But maybe it's a learned behavior that's the problem.  A feeling that your body or part of your body is too big, or too small or doesn't look "right." Someone made fun of you, someone said you weren't pretty/beautiful, that you were fat or flat-chested. First, why are you letting someone else's opinion (rooted in their own insecurity) determine YOU? Secondly, compared to whom?? How you are put together is what makes you, YOU.  Celebrate those parts that make you up while focusing more of what makes you special.  Every person has a feature that someone else wants, EVERYONE.

So for this, I'm going to propose something you may find silly, but trust me on this.  I want you to make a little altar or shrine to you (or to that body part/system), and start to be NICE to it. Every day. You can put affirmations in a jar, buy flowers, have a pep talk - anything that is positive.  True, it may feel silly, but consider where you have been - this is essentially the opposite.  This is the fresh water, sunlight, and space you were denying yourself.  This will change your war to a truce...and possibly get you on the road to being friends again with you. And that's where everything good begins.

Temptress's Coffeepot: 10 Secrets of How To Achieve Bellydance Fame & Success...*

Looking for the fast track? Here it is!*

1) Haven't studied dance for very long? It's ok - you can mix a whole bunch of unrelated things together and call it fusion! Nobody will ever be the wiser, and you'll look super cool.

2) Still worried that your moves aren't up to snuff? Make sure to wear a bra that doesn't fit properly - whether it gives you sideboob, the cups aren't big enough, or the straps are too long, nothing will take the audience's attention away from poor technique like boobs that may burst out at any moment.  (For guys, this means wearing costuming that may reveal your prince at any moment, and/or which religion you could be.)

3) You know what else the audience loves to see? Your crotch and various shaving habits.  Nothing makes an evening of dance quite like a good shot of your crotch sans underwear. Woohoo! Or is that hoo-ha?  Bonus Tip: be sure all of your backbends are done with your crotch aimed at the audience.

4) Practicing with your prop is overrated. Props are just things to distract the audience anyway and keep them occupied. Bonus points if you have never even picked it up prior to going on stage before.

5) The height of theatrical proficiency is dropping your veil in the smack center of the stage...and then trampling over it several times during the course of your performance.  Exert your dominance over that veil!  And then be sure to bend over to pick it up with your butt to the audience for that final view of you.

6) You don't actually NEED to study any other forms of dance you are thinking of fusing into your performances or costuming.  A half-hour of  watching Youtube videos should cover it. Who really wants to learn about appreciating culture and history? In fact, you can learn everything you need to know about bellydance from 6 weeks of classes...and then start teaching it!

7) Don't ever undercut for a performance - unless it's for exposure, then that is totally OK. Similarly, it's totally OK to bitch about people undercutting you for performing meanwhile supporting businesses that knock-off small community designers/artisans, and/or promote sweatshop work.  Also, don't forget to try and bargain down the services of photographers, musicians, and costumers - don't they KNOW who you ARE?

8) On that note....Want to be seen as a big-name?  Treat everyone else around you like peons - they will assume you have greater abilities and load reverence and respect upon you.  Because of course all the big-names must be divas.  Disrespecting everyone else is how you get up in the world.

9) ) When you get into the dressing room or green room, spread your stuff over EVERYTHING.  Yeah, there's 20 other folks who need to get in there too, but you got there first, and everyone will respect you for claiming your territory so gloriously. Obviously you are VERY important!

10) Lastly, whether you have already performed or are waiting to go on, do NOT pay attention to whomever is on stage.  Be sure to be extra loud in talking to your friends, extra snarky, especially near any video camera.  This dance is all about you anyway.

(*complete title is: "10 Secrets of How To Achieve Bellydance Fame & Success In All The Wrong Ways" - Happy April!)