What does it for me?

Staple me down please.  I've just got back from Spring Caravan in NJ, on the heels of just getting back from Tribal Fest in California, and I need to override my tendency to be a workaholic and take a bit of a break (though I'm already looking forward to Tribal Revolution in Chicago at the end of this month).

During the course of both of these events, it was asked/discussed "What style of bellydance do you like to watch the most?" and "What were your favorite performances?"  A lot of people assume that for me, it must be Gothic, or some sort of fusion, etc - but in the same way, most people never know what I'm going to do next, what I like is also not predictable.  Or is it?

When I was younger and newer to the dance, I had my favorite styles to watch.  I looked for the dancers my instructors and friends recommended, listened for music that would catch my ears, and the rest seemed a blur.  Thousands of dancers/performances and a dizzying multitude of events, festivals, shows, and haflas later, things have changed - not only personally for me, but the community as well.  I still have my favorites to watch, but they are a very diverse group of dancers if you were to put them all in the same room. If I were to list my favorite performances from either event, while you would find a couple "big names" in there (and there's a certainly bit of bias because not only are they great dancers, but they also happen to be my friends/mentors), but you'd find that a lot of them aren't the most popular names out there or even dancers you've ever heard of at all.  What pulls them all together?  What catches my eye and interest? Why?

I have managed to narrow it down to a singular quality: brave sincerity.  The ability for the dancer to be true to herself in her dance, regardless of what style of dance she's performing and how long she's been dancing.  It can be Gothic or Steampunk Fusion, or it could be straight Egyptian or Turkish Oriental, or Khaleegy.  It could be a student troupe or a someone who has been dancing for 30 years.  What brings them together is the desire to dance to the best of their ability, that they have taken the time to consider their dance as a whole - from the costuming, to the movements, to the music - and how they all relate, and that who they are in that moment shines through.  And it's clear they're not afraid to be who they are. There's a sense of artistry founded in good technique, married with stage presence.  That's my sweet spot and what I look for.

I link bravery with sincerity because it's not an easy thing to be yourself, especially in this community.  It's much easier to be a clone, to pander to what's popular, to present the consistently familiar and crowd-pleasing.  Because the reality is, rarely does what's truly new/different/innovative/unusual equal crowd-pleasing, when you're dealing with the masses.  Most people prefer to be presented with something formulaic and familiar, it's more comfortable on the brain.  They're not looking to be challenged in any way, unless it's pre-approved and expected. What they tend to think of as new/different, has already been around and kicking for quite some time, and has become acceptable over time.  And it is extremely hard as a performer to not cater to that sense of instant approval because all performers want to be acknowledged as successful, to be praised for what they do.  So it's extremely exciting for me to watch dancers who fight that tendency, and dare to be themselves, whether they're presenting fusion or folklore, tradition or trend-setting.  For me, everything else is boring.  Show pony big name/clone in overpriced costuming doing the same thing to a slightly different song? Big whoop. Seen it. Give me a student troupe who have clearly worked their hearts out presenting their piece, and you'll see my heart move.  That dancer you've never heard of, doing her own take on a trend? I want it. Really well-done passionate oriental? Bring it.  Tribal style that's fun with an awesome group dynamic with dancers of all shapes and ages? Yes please!

Be you, and I'll be there for you. I promise.

all the news that is...

No rest for the wicked, as I write this way too early from bed in California, having arrived last night and am still on EST. As some may noticed, I'm a little off-schedule this month for weekly posts - as I've been up to my ears in getting the DVD ready, getting ready for Tribal Fest, have a huge project at work, International Steampunk City the other weekend, etc - so it's been nuts.  So I'm just going to touch base here:

-I'm a Tribal Fest 11 in Sebastopol, California this week and weekend!  I'm teaching TWO workshops on Thursday (of which I believe there is still some room in each) - "Musicality & 'Motion" at 10:15am and then "Shimmies - Sassy to Sizzling" at 12:15 (and yeap, those are back to back, so eat a big breakfast and bring a snack!) - then I'll be at the Meet & Greet that night.  I'm performing on FRIDAY at 6:51pm, debuting music from my DVD!  And I'm vending Friday-Sunday in my usual spot in the main room, by the entrance.

-"Bellydance Artistry" DVD Project! We had hoped for a TF11 release, but alas, nope.  BUT I do have a demo on hand for preview, and we should have the DVDs in hand for Spring Caravan next week! I am SO excited about how it came together and looks! I am still accepting pre-orders for the DVD (at TF and via the website), and if you purchase a pre-order by the end of this weekend, you'll also get a special coupon for downloading the music!

-Steampunk Bellydance Shirts! I have a new design on tanks and tee's and it's STEAMY!  Will have them for sale at Tribal Fest - and you can still pre-order these as well for Spring Caravan or ship to anywhere!

-Spring Caravan! Is next weekend!  I'm teaching a special 3 hour workshop on Thursday afternoon (Gothic Trilogy) and Nouveau Noir Dance on Saturday morning.  I'm performing solo at 8:40pm on Friday night, and performing with my lovely students at 7:24pm on Saturday night - featuring our "Reverse Djinn" piece!  And of course, I'm vending all weekend.

So there's a LOT going on! See you there!

No Fear Bellydance!

You probably don't know this about me, but I grew up surfing at the (real) Jersey shore.  My older brothers were surfers, and so by the age of 6, I was up and standing on a real full-size fiberglass surfboard (single fin, with a beautiful star with a rainbow tail, Rainbow Brite - eat your heart out), riding waves.  I actively surfed and also had a small collection of Morey Boogie boards that I saved up for well through my late teens.  The older I got though, the more my widening hip bones did not care for the bruising contact of the board as the surf banged it against them, and the more I was aware that this was a very dangerous activity.  So you could say fear and self-preservation entered the equation, but the connection I really wanted to make here is the surfer-brand of "No Fear" because that's the first thing I think of when I hear that phrase.

But I still like to connect it with bellydance when I can, because it's also a phrase I like to tell my students.  "No fear!" when it comes to performing!  "No fear!" when it comes to trying something new!  "No fear!" when it comes to trying something again.  "No fear!" that there WILL be another time.

And so I got to thinking, when IS fear appropriate with dance, and when does it really show up when we least expect it?  When is fear the root of our issues and what can we do about it?  When is it controlling us more than we are controlling it?



There are two kinds of fear and how they affect us.  I mentioned in my blog post about bullying that fear of losing control, popularity, etc, is a big factor behind why most people bully.  In fact, I think fear has a lot to do with most negative behavior that can be found within our community.  There's our fears that can harm ourselves internally/personally (and not directly affect anyone else) - we'll call this Interior Fear, and then there's our fears that can cause other people harm - Exterior Fear. 

Some examples of Interior Fears:
-Stage Fright (any of the fears related to performing in front of other people)
-Class/Workshop Fear (fear of looking like you don't know what you're doing in a classroom setting)
-Poser Fear (fear of being shown you don't know what you're doing/talking about)
-Live Music Fear (fear that the musicians will unleash something random and horrible upon you, making you look like a moron)
-Improv Fear (fear of doing anything improvised)
-Choreography Fear (fear of failing to remember choreography)
-Fangirl Fear (fear of being rejected/sneered at by your idol)

How to overcome Interior Fears:  Well, every situation is different, but really the best antidote is doing.  You'll never know unless you try, and the more you do something, the more comfortable you will become with it.  Often, we make a situation far worse in our head than it can ever be in real life, and life is all about experiences.  Some will be good, some will be bad, but they're all worth it, because we can learn from them.  No one has it all together right off the bat, it takes time to develop skill and nurture talent.  The irony is, the more accepting that you are of that you may indeed look like a moron, the less likely the chances you will actually become one.

Some examples of Exterior Fears:
-Losing students to other teachers
-Losing fans to other performers
-Losing status/popularity

How to overcome Exterior Fears:  A lot of things I see in the community make me scratch my head - especially when actions extremely defy logic and sense, and I've come to the conclusion that logical reasoning is clearly absent and has been pushed out by fear, especially when the excuses that coming pouring out don't make any sense.  I'm going to tackle each of these fears separately:

-Losing students to other teachers.  I've heard all sorts of interesting reasons why people don't host workshops with other teachers or tell their students about them.  There's the logical ones: no budget, too busy, honestly didn't know about an event, or they want to check out a teacher first before they expose their students to them so they can make a solid recommendation.  The ones that generate the more "interesting" reasons usually have the same thing though at heart - the teacher is afraid that she may lose students to other teachers - which not only shows a great amount of personal insecurity, but also may prevent the students from becoming better, more rounded dancers.  We become better dancers through being exposed to more instructors and performers - sometimes it's a lesson of what to do, or how to do it differently, and sometimes it's a lesson of what NOT to do.  If a student is meant to move on, then let her/him move on.  If they want to try something different, let them have their own experience.  If you're doing a good job, they will still be there for you.  There will always be more students for good teachers.  If it comes down to doubting oneself and your own ability, then it's time to brush up on your own skills and expand your education.

-Losing fans to other performers.  I don't understand snubbing other performers when they're offering to dance at/partake of your event.  I think the most common fear some producers have is having someone do better than themselves or that people will like those other performers more.  But variety is the spice of life!  And a little healthy competition makes us all more on our game. Everyone has their strengths and weakness. There's also the concept of creating a show and letting everyone know the terms, limits, and expectations, and then there's bullshitting (for lack of a more elegant term.) Make terms clear and standard for everyone, or don't make it sound like you're open to all and then not be.  Treat everyone with respect and be direct.  Also, consider good business sense.  If a well-known or high quality dancer wants to participate in my show, I will make the room for them - because they will help increase the draw and the level of the show, plus it's damn good karma - and chances are, even if the schedule appears tight, something always happens, so it's not a bad thing to budget for another 5-7 more minutes.  Also, I'm always up for giving a new performer a new opportunity - you just never know!  I'm also aware of supporting other local teachers/performers when possible to help strengthen the community and show mutual respect. It really is a win-win. And lastly, so what if someone is a better performer than you?  This is just how things are, and you can only truly compete against yourself. 


-Losing status/popularity.  I also don't get the popularity game. I don't understand stunts, rumors, and other perceptions involved with this game. You never know what will make people happy or turn them off, because you can't please all of the people all of the time. Some people will go fangirl over anything, and other people are finicky.  You can't let it get to you. The key thing is to do the best job YOU can, do what YOU believe in, and act with respect with others.  That's the best way to not only be yourself (and a true original), but also build momentum the most positive way.  Everything ebbs and flows. Today you're riding the wave, tomorrow you're getting wiped out.  But there will always be more waves and other day.  But if you're true to yourself, you'll be in for the long ride no matter what.

No Fear!

DVD Eve....

This weekend we are filming "Bellydance Artistry."  I can't believe it's happening tomorrow.  Tonight will be spent practicing with my girls, gathering everything we need for tomorrow (attire, make-up, jewelry, music, notes), putting finishing touches on my costume for Sunday, and doing my nails.  I'm still in a bit of awe that everything has come together.  Nathaniel has done an amazing job with the music, I've got a great videographer who understands the project, and how important good, clean, well-lit shots are, the locations are scheduled and we have plenty of time to do what we need to do.  I'm still amazed, honored, and so appreciative that so many people helped us reach our goal for the project. 

As I look over the material and estimate the running time, and map how it will be navigated, my hopes are that this will be a practice companion that dancers will be able to use on a regular basis, for a variety of reasons.  I believe that dancers from different styles and levels of experience will all find something they can resonate with and work with.  The material really stresses my dance philosophy - how I approach the dance from the inside out, how to get the most out your movements, fusion through foundation, and artistic process.  It's not a "feel the burn" kind of DVD, b/c that's not my philosophy - but rather, processes that condition both the body and mind together. 

If you're new to this blog, you can read a bit more about the project at http://www.darklydramatic.com/artistry.html

(photo from Angels & Absinthe Show, by Insomniac Studios, St. Louis, MO)

Fundamentals of Fusion

Just published today on the Gilded Serpent, a new article I wrote about Fusion Bellydance.  It's a rather lengthy discourse (which shouldn't surprise most of you, if you've been here a bit..), so you may want to get a nice cup of tea and some cookies before settling down to read it.  Got it? Ok, here you go!

How to Make It in Bellydance...or Not.

So last week's post was about spreading a little love around.  I had thought about making this week's post being a direct contrast in the "when is it OK to not spread the love around" sort of vibe.  To be clear, I wasn't professing that you need to love every dancer out there, because seriously there are some bat-shit crazy (BSC) people out there. In fact, I had gone so far to officially designate 2010 my "guano-free" year, meaning eliminating the BSC people out of my life, and it's become somewhat of an institution now since it cut out a huge amount of unnecessary stress.  I'm a pretty easy-going person with the gift/curse of being able to reason/understand other people's issues, so I can put up with a lot.  A LOT.

But there are some things in this community we shouldn't be putting up with.  And one thing in particularly I've seen far too much of recently all over the dance community is bullying (for lack of a better word).  Essentially what I'm talking about is aggressive/abusive behavior used to get one's way.  I hate to use the term "bullying" here because it tends to conjure up ideas of grammar school playground teasing (not to belittle that type of abuse at all, because it is a rather serious problem), and what we're dealing with are full-grown adults engaging in extremely negative behavior to achieve their desired results.  Whether it's hate mail (email, letters, phone messages, or texts) sent directly to the individual, or communication targeted at other people/organizations/events who may know them/be involved with them, physical and destructive actions or threats, the aggressor is using negativity to push people to do what she wants, often on a very public scale.  Often the aggressor will also recruit sympathizers, who furthermore add to the waves of negativity, most often because they don't know the whole story or want to win favor.  She fears losing power and control, and will do what she can to retain it, rarely thinking about what is best for others.

In most cases, the aggressor feels that she has been wronged in some way (and hence considers herself a victim), and that justifies her extreme behavior.  The "wrong" could be a new competitor in town (dancer or event), someone voicing an opinion she didn't like or exposing a truth about the aggressor, or someone refusing to follow or agree to her terms/desires.  Rather than considering her own role or possible responsibility in the situation, OR evaluating how one can rationally and positively improve or correct the situation, the aggressor turns to vocal violence to attempt to get resolution/satisfaction.

In fact, most of the situations I've encountered exemplify the bully-as-a-victim scenario, to the extreme where the bully has manufactured or falsely claimed similar behavior against her to get attention.  Sometimes, they start off having a real offense/problem, but then things get out of control, and all of a sudden, it's the Salem Witch Trials all over again. But most often the "wrong" is a difference of opinion or a misunderstanding of fact, rather than anyone intentionally trying to cause the aggressor harm. The truth is, most actual victims of bullying rarely speak out/up, nor are they likely to engage in this sort of behavior as a means of justification.  They just want the abuse to go away, so they give-in, give-up, or go away.  And the bully knows this, hence why it's her chosen weapon to get what she wants, whether it's attention to exalt herself, to make a competitor go away or lose money, damage someone else's reputation, or just ride a power trip of ego. 

And most likely, you're sitting there reading this post thinking "That's crazy! Outrageous! How can anyone do that or let someone behave like that!? Real professionals wouldn't do that, must be inexperienced dancers!" or you're nodding along with several different encounters in mind. The sad truth is, most of the situations I can recall involved senior-level dancers (aka "professionals" and experienced, established individuals), whose behavior was excused because "well, that's just who she is and besides, she's a fabulous dancer/teacher/promoter/etc."  Why is that OK?  Why are we accepting this harmful behavior as the norm? Do we truly benefit from keeping them in business?  Are we really helping them by ignoring it?  Are we saying that these people are just talented animals who can't learn to behave better?

Now, we all go through tough times and don't always behave as well as we should, and if we can recognize and acknowledge those bad times and lack of good judgment, then forgiveness is definitely a viable option.  But when someone is a repeat offender without any sense of self-exploration, then shame on us for continuing to support them, because they will never learn, and they only continue on their cycle of negativity.  And people think it's OK, as long as it's not happening to them personally.  Which is a fault-ridden position, because really, it's only a matter of time until she fixes her gaze on YOU or someone you care about.  Folks, it's not that big of a community.  How many wolves do we need? Do we even NEED wolves?

How do we eliminate this sort of negativity from our community?  The first thing is to check ourselves, and make sure we're not the ones propagating it.  Yes, we should all stand up for ourselves, our dance, our business, but HOW we do that is key.  You can work to solve problems in a positive manner, keeping cool (or counting/breathing) when faced with issues that set us off, and not fly off the cuff.  You can choose not to spread rumors or hearsay and not blindly accept everything you may hear as truth.  Open up the lines of positive communication by asking questions, clearing up misunderstandings, and clarifying where there is confusion.  Instead of blaming someone else for a problem, consider what your own role in it was or could be, and help works toward a solution.  If you need to discuss a problem, then seek advice from a few trusted, impartial sources, not everyone with an ear within 10 feet of you.  If you did something or someone wrong, acknowledge it, apologize, and make amends.  If someone makes an apology to you, accept it and move on.  Vote with your feet and your wallet. We can also choose NOT to support people who breed negativity with their drama and abuse. Support the talent who do walk the positive path. There are other options out there, trust me. Make bellydance a bully-free zone. 

DVD Update!

Hello everyone!

I have terrific news! This past weekend, we broke $4K for the "Bellydance Artistry" DVD project!  This means all of our pre-production costs (videography, editing, music, licensing, etc) have been covered, and will take place on schedule. Thank you so much to everyone who has helped supported this project - in all forms!

We still have a little ways to go to cover the DVD manufacturing (our last major expense), so I will keep the donation buttons up until April 15th.  So if you haven't donated yet, but would like to - plus receive special rewards, including limited edition artwork, signed DVDs, kudos on the actual DVD, and more, please head over to http://www.darklydramatic.com/artistry.html

Thank you again so much!!