March 10th - Workshops & Show in Seattle!

Returning to Seattle on March 10th, to teach two workshops and do another amazing live show with the Nathaniel Johnstone band + friends. (Here's a review of the last show we did in October: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/nathaniel-johnstone-band)

I am teaching "Essence of the Dance" which is a workshop that will help profoundly impact your dance from the inside out - at it's first run in St. Louis, dancers who have been performing years remarked how much it really centered and refocused their dance - so whether you're new to the dance, or have been doing it for a long time - tribal, cabaret, or somewhere in-between, this workshop will revitalize and empower your dance. Complete workshop description here: https://www.facebook.com/events/318364058205832/

And then Nathaniel and I are presenting "Anatomy of a Song & Dance", which provides key secrets to not only working with live music, but ANY kind of music - from both the perspective of the musician and the dancer. Suitable for all levels of dancers. Info at https://www.facebook.com/events/289165787806752/

Workshops are very reasonably priced at $35 each ($40 drop-in) or both workshops for ONLY $65. Info here as well: http://tincanseattle.com/?q=content/tempest-tin-can-studio-sat-march-10

OR YOU CAN NOW REGISTER ONLINE HERE! http://www.darklydramatic.com/workshop.html

And then the incredible show that evening, also at Tin Can! Pix from the last show: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dinalydia/sets/72157627978589276/

Sex Appeal in Bellydance: Introspection & Irony

While I have been doing a lot of thinking (surprise, I'm part of Overthinkers Anonymous...ok, not so anonymous, see the overthinking?), I haven't had a lot of time to put it all down, so here's to trying to get back to a regular schedule with the blog.  There is a lot to cover in this one, so this post will make up for it.

So, you may have noticed the image connected with this post.  It's a new photo, taken recently of me by the amazing Carrie Meyer of St. Louis, MO (http://www.thedancerseye.com) - Carrie has taken some incredible photos of me in the last year (as have several other great photographers in New England).  I'm about to totally revamp my darklydramatic.com website, since it's been several years since I've changed the overall look, so I have been thinking a lot about what images I want to use, what they reflect, what branding they put forth etc.  I also just recently posted a slew of my old costumes for sale, so I was looking at photos that were taken of me from 2005-2008 and comparing.  And how much I like the new ones more.  Not for any lack of image quality - there are some truly great photographs in that group, taken by very talented photographers, and I got a lot of mileage out of those images.  But personally, it's like looking at two different people. Which is pretty close to the truth I think.

But let me back up a bit here.  Growing up, I was never much of a girly-girl.  I have two very much older brothers who I idolized.  I played street hockey, I surfed, I spent hours in the backyard playing wilderness games, excavating under stones and "hunting" things. I wore my brothers' clothes whenever possible. I failed at "girly" activities, not interested in the pink satin trappings of ballet, cheerleading, make-up application (though I loved "fashion plates" - remember those? well, it fell under "art"). Puberty snuck up on me around 6th grade and caused much confusion for the next several years.  I had always felt more comfortable around guys, but now I was being rejected and harshly teased by them as well as the rest of the girls.  I felt stuck between the two sides, and it was fairly traumatic for me, until I moved at 15 to South Carolina, and entered a whole new school system.  The social dynamic was much different, and I could easily be the artsy/tough girl without catching any flack. And pretty much proceeded along that path indefinitely throughout college and so forth. And I found bellydancing - and my personality merged with that. Which makes a lot of sense when you look at a lot of my earlier Gothic Bellydance pieces, full of elements of "dangerous/femme fatale" mixed with "hard-edge", alternating between in that spectrum.  I had a hard time reconciling "soft" vs. "hard", feminine versus masculine, especially wondering about audience reception.  Now? Now I don't care which way my dance swings, because I think I've merged the elements now more successfully, or found a different way to say them.

So I've been thinking about what makes who I am now as a dancer different than who I was then, because I think that has a lot to do with the changes in the imagery and idea development.  It again made me think about this article I wrote about 5-6 years ago and wondering if I would have a different opinion about "a dancer has nothing to dance about until she's over 30". And well, not really. I may have something different to say now, but it doesn't invalidate what I had to say then. 

One of the things I would say is that I'm much more comfortable being ME now than I was then, as weird as that sounds.  That perhaps I know who I am more.  The girl in the old photos is pretty, touch of edgy, proud but not grounded. The woman in the photographs now seems far more confident, in command, and sexy. She knows things. And yes, I said the s-word. Sexy. 

Which brings us to the conundrum of sex appeal and bellydance.  Dancers are constantly fighting the stereotypes that we're not strippers, that what we do is a valid art form and socially proper form of entertainment.  We're endlessly debating sexual vs sensual. That we're not doing this for the arousal of the opposite sex, etc, etc.

And in looking at these photos, along with all the other photos I deal with from other dancers for the events and websites I put together, and the commentary on photos post on facebook, I realized something.  It IS about sex appeal.  The funny thing is, it's really not about the dancer in the image trying to appeal to the opposite sex, as so much it is about transferring sex appeal to the consumer - which for workshops and classes, the consumer is the potential student.  The student wants to have that same sex appeal themselves - for whatever reason, and if they perceive it in the teacher, then they feel they too can get in on the action. That's the root of it, plain and simple.

And while some of you are probably going "duh" - well, you have to understand that I don't really think that way.  I'm a geek, and a dork, and like being silly. I don't care about "looking cool", b/c I'm just going to be me no matter what, for what it's worth.  So instead of going "whoa, that is a hot photograph of X", I'm wondering if she's wearing underwear, how much shaving did that involve, and surely she wouldn't perform in THAT "costume", because if she moved her legs, we'd see it all.  And wow, that can't be comfortable. 

Which means, I either think too much (which we have already established), but also, there's different levels of sexy.  To me, sexy isn't about how much I'm exposing of my body - especially since I believe the fashion truth that it's a matter of ratio versus what you show  versus what you don't show (like ankles being sexy and taboo for Victorians, that Flappers were sexy for showing legs and arms, but they look wholesome next to the pop stars of today who bare pretty much all of their assets).  It's not about the clothing or lack there of, it's about the attitude, and how you wear that attitude that makes the sex appeal. That it's not a request for attention, but a declaration of self. That's what really makes it sexy.

Which makes me love all of my students that much more, because I think that means they're in it for themselves too.  How awesome is that?

Performing & You.

Yes, I'm a bit behind my normal schedule on posting, especially made obvious by the fact that it's now the third week of January.  Maybe I had a bit of "new year, first post" anxiety? Anyway, here's to getting back on track:

In the last month or so, I have been talking with a lot of people about performing - musicians, dancers, students, and other creative types.  Why we perform, how it makes us feel, what qualifies as a good or satisfying performance, what leaves us wanting more personally, and how to get satisfied more consistently.And what I discovered is that those who felt the most consistent and satisfied about their performances had similar reasons for WHY they performed. 

I think a lot of people get into performing for the wrong reasons. That doesn't mean they won't eventually come to the right reasons, but I have to wonder if a lot of stress and heartache could be saved if they started from the right spot.  Or maybe it's all part of the learning process. What are the "wrong reasons" anyway? I would say anything that blocks the flow of energy between the performer and the audience, and doesn't foster truth growth.

Performing is about having a shared experience on multiple levels. It's about communication, opening up a dialogue between you and the audience - you give something, they give something back, and so it cycles from there.  The amazing thing about performing is that it is a communal experience. For many of us, it's like church - there is something sacred, something energy-based about it, as close to you can get to a divine experience on the earthly plane. Time moves differently on stage, and there's a sense of transformation, of reaching an altered state of existence. 

If you're only performing to boost your ego, it's only going to go so far, because self-esteem can't be fostered from an audience glow, it's has to start from inside of you, YOUR own confidence in YOU.  Eventually, the audience will catch on, and leave you crashing hard. Attention-seeking is disrespectful to the audience and negates the communication experience for both parties.

We all have to start somewhere.  Not every performance is going to be a mystical, magical experience - but you have to start with getting experience in the first place.  It takes practice to learn how to communicate properly.  As long as you have a willingness to acknowledge that, and the desire TO communicate and share, then you are on the right path. Consider when you're putting a piece together, what is it that you want to say with it? How does it make you feel? How do you want your audience to feel? If you take the time to consider these things, you're on the right path. 

Orpheus & Eurydice

It's the last week of the year, and I'm a bit under the weather, so instead of a weekly exploratory post, I'm posting the video from my performance with Nathaniel Johnstone at Tribal Fusion Faire, which took place in San Luis Obispo, California December 10th-11th.   This was the first time out for a piece we have been discussing and working on for about 6 months now, based off the myth of Orpheus & Eurydice.  It will continual to evolve over the next year as it develops, but I'm pretty pleased with our first run.  It starts off with "The Heart Unwound", and then goes into new music that Nathaniel has composed for this piece especially.  And it was all pretty much improvised.

The Light In The Dark

So I have been a bit remiss in updating the blog this month, and I apologize for that.  I'm not exactly sure what happened to most of December. I mean, I kinda know - I held an open house at my home studio, I was in California for nearly a week, visiting the Bay Area and performing/teaching at Tribal Fusion Faire, I worked on the Waking Persephone website.  I designed jewelry and dealt with corporate America. So obviously I was doing stuff.  I think. I have no holiday decorations up at my house, and it's a little late to start, as I'm leaving tomorrow to see my family in NJ. But I didn't want to let the month run away without marking down some thoughts.

Last night was the longest night of the whole year - marking the Winter Solstice (in my hemisphere).  For me, the equinoxes and the solstices are the most important days out of the year, alongside May 1st and October 31st.  I am fascinated by the balance of light and dark, day and night, the pattern of things.  And being an optimist (generally), I am very much inspired by the Winter Solstice - the promise that there will be a little more light, each day, from now until the Summer Solstice. (For the inverse reasons, I am somewhat depressed by the Summer Solstice, cause it's all downhill from there...so I guess I am a Winter Optimist and a Summer Pessimist). 

When I think of the dark though, I don't think of it as cold and desolate.  Instead, I think about hibernation, incubation, things waiting, holding, slumbering, preparing.  There are whispers in dark warm corners about the promise of Spring - what can take root, what can bloom, what can inspire and grow.  In one hand, we are remembering the harvests of the past year - what worked, what didn't work, what we reaped and sowed.  In the other, we are consider the changes for the next year - what will we bring into our lives for the coming year.  What will be new? What will be different?  How can we take that inspiration to the next level? What experiences will we have?

The Winter Solstice is like sitting in a movie theater, waiting for the show to start.  Anything could happen.  The thing is, we're in control about what show is about to start.  If we expect someone else to start the show for us, it'll never happen.  You're the star of your own show, whether you think you're ready for it or not.  And there's nothing like that moment - on the stage, in the dark, before the lights come up and the curtains open.  Embrace this moment in the dark, hold it close, and see what sparks emerge.  Take a deep warm breath and give life to that light.

Blessed Be.

Yes you can, but SHOULD you? : Music

The title of this week's post is a question I often (and infamously) ask of my students in the fusion workshops I teach.  It can refer to costuming, moves, props, group interaction, general presentation, audience participation, make-up, or music.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about music.  Partly brought on by some of my students trying to choose music for their first solos, partly by the fact that I'm enamored with my car's sound system.  And that I seem to have developed an obsession for Florence + The Machine (which if you're my friend on facebook, this is not news to you whatsoever.)

In particular, I was thinking how much I am IN LOVE with specific songs, but there's no way I can see myself actually bellydancing to them. (I do however, sing along with them, but only in my car...alone.) This was a bit of a surprise to me on several levels, so it made me stop and think about why.

The songs definitely made me feel something - I could definitely move with them and translate the energy and feel of the song through my body, but the movement language it required was definitely not bellydance.  Now, I don't believe that a song must be Arabic/Middle Eastern in order for it to work with bellydance - rather, I often apply that musical interpretation/approach to what I'm dancing to for fusion - but it doesn't work for every song, and I think that's one of the things you really only learn with time, especially the deeper you explore the roots of the dance. 

In the last couple of years, I have enjoyed the challenge of going back to sets I performed to when I first started dancing.  Some pieces, I have been extremely excited about all over again, in a whole new way - I hear them differently, can apply far more control and quality then I was able to the first go-round. Other pieces, I am just dumbfounded at how I thought I could bellydance to it in the first place - danceable, yes, bellydanceable, not so much, or at all.  Yes, it's quite common that once you learn bellydance, it certainly infiltrates everything you do, including when you go to the club and want to social dance. But when you take it to performance, it becomes a different territory.

The revelation is: just because you love a song, doesn't mean it's going to work for a bellydance performance.  Ask yourself, why do you love it?  What about it grabs you? What kind of movement does it inspire you to do?  Is that movement bellydance-oriented? And by bellydance-oriented, I'm not talking fusion elements (popping, locking, whacking, strobing, glitching, and various other -ing's), I'm talking BELLYDANCE here. If you're suddenly confused about what that means then, time to do some research.

A Challenge to the Community

Like clockwork, every few months, there's a discussion on any bellydance forum about how fusion is the root of all evil, the end of the world is coming to traditional bellydance, etc, etc.  There's usually some good debate, mixed in with some really bad generalizations and pot shots.  Personally, there's a lot of things happening in the name of "fusion bellydance" that makes me have kittens (which if you have read this blog for any amount of time, it's probably pretty apparent), but there's a whole lot of bad "traditional" bellydance being done too...really, we have a mess on our hands, but I believe it's better to do something about it, then to constantly bitch and do nothing.  And while I internally debated whether I wanted to partake in the latest thread to pop up, I learned of the untimely passing of Jeniviva, dear friend, beautiful woman, and fellow Gothic Bellydancer - one of the few other prominent cabaret-based ones.  And suddenly, all of the nit-picking and ranting seemed pretty pointless.  So this is what I wrote, and I wanted to share it here as well:

In the light of being made even more very much aware of how fleeting life is with the loss of a fellow contemporary pioneer in my genre, I just want to say this:

You want to see more bellydance? BRING IT. Stop bemoaning and whining about the potential loss and who is to blame for it. Go out there, show your love for the dance with every performance and every student you teach, be a POSITIVE voice in your community. There is plenty of room for all styles, but if you want folks to get more interested in the traditional forms, the folklore, the music, the culture, you gotta have that joy, you have to show that love, and not waste time and energy on what others may or may not be doing.

My roots are oriental. I wanted to do Tribal when I first came across BD over a dozen years ago, and when I finally did take it, I found my heart was back in my roots - but what made it easy for me to embrace it (the roots) and go forth were teachers who shared with me their inspiration and their support. It definitely was NOT because of the people hoisting themselves on digital thrones of authenticity, crowning themselves the queens of preservation wagging their fingers/mouths at me and others, whose own dancing was less than inspired on stage and instruction full of venom. Nope, rather it was the ones who shared their joy and love of the dance with everything they do - on stage and in the classroom. Their enthusiasm fueled (and fuels) my enthusiasm, and I bring that to my students in my classroom and on stage. My classes cover both tradition and innovation - they learn about Arabic culture and music, and they learn fusion with focus. It's not an easy place to be in, because I've always been "too cab for the tribal folk, and too tribal/weird for the cab folk", but that hasn't stopped me and won't. My workshops focusing on how to make fusion more bellydance-rooted may not sell-out as quickly as the popular TF classes flavor of the year, but that's what I believe in, and slowly, change is happening. It's what *I* believe in, teach, preach, and dance. Its what I LOVE. My students are all ages, sizes, colors, genders. There are no borders.

So ask yourself, what do you believe in? Are you bringing that joy? How are you going to feed that passion to others? What are you going to do TODAY about it? Because we may not be around to dance tomorrow.