In 2001, a group of friends chipped in and bought me a gift certificate for Artemis Imports. I spent hours pouring over that crazy, wonderful catalog. If you never have had the pleasure of getting the mailorder catalog from Artemis Import (and back then it was either shop from her in person at events or send in a few dollars to get the catalog), it was a HUGE plastic-tooth bound cut-and-paste bonanza. And she had ghawazee coats for sale - so with my gift certificate, I bought one!
I'm not sure why I thought it was going to be wine-colored (wasn't the catalog in black and white? Maybe there was a one-off color sheet in there...), but I was very surprised that when it arrive it was 1/4" wide red and black stripes. And unfortunately was WAY too big for me, especially in the chest. I sadly returned it (but I did get the FCBD "Tattooed One" and the rest of the Solace albums I didn't have yet in exchange). This pattern would repeat again and again over the years - every coat I came across didn't fit me (and/or came close to fitting in my meager budget).
Despite that continuing disappointment, I never stopped being inspired by those early images, hints of them repeatedly showing up in my costuming throughout the years. Why? What is about these women, dancing in their many layers of fabric, that drew my eye and inspired by my heart?
Some women prefer to wear dresses to cover weight/body size, stretch marks, or for modesty (when they're not specifically being used to represent a folkloric dance). Being comfortable and confident in your own skin via your costuming is a HUGE factor and if a dress does that for you, that's fantastic. Me? I'm happy with the shape of my body - whether you can see the skin/shape or not, nor do I have marks to hide (at least not yet!), and I don't think I qualify for any modest awards. Basically, I'm not hiding anything.
Or am I?
Over the last year, I transitioned from dancing with The Nathaniel Johnstone Band to also being an active musician as well. This means during an entire show, part of the time I'm dancing and the rest of the time, I'm playing keyboards/percussion. The far right image of me, I'm wearing the costume I pulled together for "Stone Woman" (our Medusa song), which is mainly a re-purposed thrift-store find. While on tour, I found that there wasn't time/space for costume changes, so I stuck to one costume to make the most impact - and it was this costume. It has a huge bling factor, really shows off isolations, while letting me move big when I need to. I also realized that I felt more confident not being the "half-nekkid" band member, especially at steampunk events, where nearly everybody has MANY layers of clothing on. I hadn't realized this was even a thing, until we were doing a show last month where I grabbed my "Amulet" costume to wear instead of digging out the Medusa one - and I felt really exposed. I'd already worn "Amulet" at several bellydance events and for the Stoneburner shows, and felt fine and fabulous every time. But with my own band? Nope.
So I decided to order a style of Egyptian dress I've been oogling for over a year, to get another blingy dress for bandwear. I didn't have any plans specifically for it, so I was pleasantly surprised when it matched the Amulet costume perfectly. And it was stretching enough that I could move the neckline to scoop the bra instead of covering it. Without trying to, I managed to get the perfect "ghawazee coat" inspired piece I have been lusting after all these years - the scooped bustline, the stripes, the sleeves! And it fits perfectly!
I think I have figured out why those layers have fascinated me all these years. There is truly something sensual, magical, empowering about revealing less of your outside while showing more of your inner awesome.
Then again, I could just be a Victorian re-incarnated. Which would probably surprise no one.
|HRM Steampunk Steamposium on the Queen Mary, photo by Wade Watkins|